Phone calls and partial phone calls from home

Him: Fae!  They wouldn’t eat Spaghetti-O’s.  What kid doesn’t eat Spaghetti-O’s!

Me: Ours?

Him: Ok, I made a rookie mistake.

Me: (pause)

Him: They asked for brownies this morning before breakfast, and I let them have some.

Me: (pause)

Him: They didn’t eat any eggs I made them for breakfast.

Me: (pause)

Him: Why did you hide the diaper bag?!!  Why aren’t Seanny’s diapers in there?!!

(For the record: The diaper bag has been in the same spot since March when we moved in, on the dryer by the garage door.  I stocked the diaper bag before I left.  He didn’t look in the right place, which has been the same place since Sean was born two and half years ago.  It’s even labeled.)

Him: So I made another mistake.  I noticed Evan was running around and holding himself at the park, so I asked him if he needed to go to the potty.  He said yes, but he wanted to go to Grandma’s and Papi’s to do it (because they were going there any ways after the park).  So I moved quickly, got everyone there quickly.  I pulled Evan out, who ran to the door.  He tripped and fell.  He peed.  He was very upset.

Me: I bet he was.

Him: So then we- Guys!  Stop that!  No hitting!  No splashing!  No!  Stop That!  Igottago.

(The Husband decided to bathe the boys Monday morning, and I happened to call at that time.)

Him: So when are you coming home?

Me: 3:30 today.

Him: Real quick.  What time is Evan’s school?

Me: 12:30.  Leave the house at 12:15 to make sure you have time to strap everyone in and out.

Him: Babe, you’re greatly appreciated.

Me: At least for a week.

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My Best Friend

I have the best friend ever

Because she’ll pick me up and drop me off the airport whenever.

Because she’ll totally bug me to buy plane tickets until I do.

Because she’ll let me crash at her place and then feel bad because it’s a mess (as though she hasn’t been messy from the moment I met her).

Because she feels bad her car is a mess when I arrive (as though she ever had a clean car all the time I’ve known her).

Because she’ll feel bad that she invited her friend I don’t know and expect me to be upset (which I wasn’t).

Because she’s always ready for a sushi dinner.

Because she’s crazy into Twilight and New Moon like me.

Because she understands my obsession with books.

Because she took it as her fault that I had digestive issues on my full day of vacation.

Because she felt horrible sending me on errands for her as she worked.

Because she insisted I nap, giving me her office key and the key to a private bathroom.

Because she was willing to watch New Moon twice.

Because she was totally cool going with a mutual friend and another girl she never met before.

Because she made me tea.

Because she felt horrible she missed my birthday months ago.

Because she took me out to breakfast.

Because she took me shopping at the bookstore.

Because she encouraged and insisted I get a planner so I can achieve my dream of being more organized.

Because when we arrived late at the airport and I nearly missed my plane, she wanted take full responsibility for it.

Because she’s totally cool with me crying, whining, ranting, complaining when I need to.

Because she knows me and will call me out on my sh*t.

Because she’s the coolest girl in the world.

Berry Pie

Let’s go over this again.  How many pregnancies have we been through together?

Two.

So really you should know by now when I ask with a manic glint in my eyes for something specific, like a berry pie.  I mean a berry pie.  I would settle for a cobbler or a tart.  But I NEED the berries and the crust and NOTHING else.  It’s not my fault.  I’m not usually like this.  Sure, when I send you out for dessert, I expect something with chocolate, but you don’t understand that because you’re not a big chocolate guy.  I settle for what you bring.  Except when I’m pregnant.

So when you rush out to bring me my berry pie, I’m grateful.

But don’t get hurt when I look crushed, when I start to cry, when I see that you brought me a fresh fruit tart . . . with kiwi with the berries . . . with cream . . . with a crust that isn’t quite like a pie crust.  I know you tried.  I know you searched.  But I also know when I mentioned the frozen dessert section as a second resort that you waved me off saying you’ll just go to the pie section.

Don’t laugh when I start to cry in disappointment.  I’m emotional and irrational, and I cry at the drop of a hat.  I’m pregnant!  You try growing a baby, having your body morph in strange ways, be a washed in a sea of hormones.  See how normal you are.

Yes, you did the right thing bringing me a slice of tart to try since I ran away in tears, softly closing the bedroom door when I wanted to slam it (but the boys were sleeping). 

But don’t act hurt that I’m crying.  Of course, I’m going to yell at you.  I just vomited a bit because I started coughing because I was crying.  I can’t even have a good refreshing cry without that stupid cough making me more miserable.  I’m trying not to lose my dinner here with all those healthy vegetables and milk.   

Yes, I’m a big enough person to admit that I’m emotional and appreciative and that I shouldn’t have snapped at you.

But don’t act like I’m a basket case as I whip up a small berry crumble.  I would have done it before if I had the almonds I like using to make a bottom crust.  Yes, I’ll stay up late enjoying it.  Yes, the tart was fine.  You can have as much as you like.  You know what would go great with this crumble?  Vanilla ice cream.  No, we don’t have any.  But I know the stores aren’t closed yet.

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Chores

What chore would you magically have done so that you wouldn’t have to do it?

The Weekend

I’ve got some exciting and frightening news. . . .

I’m going on a girls’ weekend!

YEA!

I haven’t been in one since I was first married.  The Husband and I made a pact.  He could go on only two guy trips a year unless I went on two.  Back then I was horrified by the idea of guy trips because I felt that couples should feel want to have fun together.  Six years later, I’m rethinking that philosophy.  Though I’m sure some of you have wonderful spouses that you enjoy spending time with, I just want to kick out The Husband every one and a while.  Ok, I’ll be honest.  A lot.  Moving on . . . .

I’m staying with my BFF, and we and some other friends are going to see New Moon.  I’m going with the same friends I saw Twilight with, and we had a blast laughing at the dumbest things.  So it was only natural that I grab a flight to CA and visit from Saturday to Monday afternoon.  My BFF is crest-fallen, hoping I would come in early Friday morning and leave late Monday night.  But that’s where the frightening part comes in.

I’m leaving the kids with The Husband.  I know.  I know.  I shouldn’t worry.  He is their daddy after all.  He’s been here from day one, but he’s not like your average father.  He’s kind of taken a hands-off approach to this parenting thing.  Sure, he reads to them most nights before bedtime, and he wrestles with them nearly every day.  But that’s it.

This is a man who still hasn’t figured out sleeping in with young children is not really an option.  He thinks my “tight” schedule of eating and naps should be thrown to the wind.  While he criticizes the amount of TV I let the boys watch and the amount of candy they eat (one piece of Halloween candy a day when they remember), he turns on the cartoons for them when he watches them and hands out chocolate milk whenever asked.  The guy didn’t even know that the G-8 in the upper screen of TV meant anything at all.  He doesn’t know where anything in the house is.  He constantly loses his own shoes, cell phone, wallet, keys, belt on a daily basis.

Last weekend he decided to help me get the boys dressed, and he didn’t even know where their shorts were.  I’ve kept the same dresser organization system since Sean was born 2 and half years ago. 

Yeah, I’m frightened.  I woke the other night in a cold sweat because it dawned on me that they are going to trash my house.  I can bet not a single toy, not a single dish, not a single crumb will be cleaned up or put away.

But I could deal with all this, somewhat, because my parents are just a mile or so away.  We’ve got into the habit of eating with them nearly every night.  The boys love them.  They understand my schedule, my discipline.  Heck, they know where things are in their house and mine.  But somewhere along the way, The Husband believed that he had to prove himself this weekend, hinting at taking care of the boys all by himself without visiting my parents once while I’m gone. 

I should calm down.  I mean, really, how much irreversible damage can he do in one weekend?

Of course, I’ve been away from the boys for only one night, and they were staying at their grandparents’ house.  They were fine, asking for me once.  So maybe they’ll be fine.  Maybe this is all in my head.  Unfortunately it’s all in MY head.

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Life Decisions: Schooling

I went to a Catholic school as a kid from pre-kindergarten to eighth grade.  It was a pretty tough school with hours of homework and a grading scale of just five points for each letter grade (ei: 100-95 = A).  The report cards always had the grade point on them, not the letter, so you could realize how well or bad you did.  Fourth grade was the make or break year with a science project, a social studies report, and two book reports every month on top of the nightly homework for eight different subjects.  And we didn’t even learn a foreign language.  Every year we had to do a full week of testing in the fall to cover all our subjects to see how well we compared with every other child in the country.  I mean it was all day every day for a damn week of fill in the bubble testing.  Looking back on it, I would say the whole educational process was brutal, and I won’t even talk about my horrible social experience.

But I walked out of that school testing in high school standards in all my subjects, except two.  In history and grammar, I tested beyond 12th grade level.  But this didn’t matter when I tested into public high school.  Because I wasn’t coming from one of two middle school feeder-schools, I was registered last.  So what ever there was left was mine for the taking.  It’s a miracle I even got into the elective class I wanted.  But no one was on my side when it came to getting into Honors English.  There was only one class of Honors English and one class of G.A.T.E. English, which was for kids who had participated in G.A.T.E. all their school lives.  My mother walked into the administration office with hell’s fury behind her, waving my years of 95+ grades in grammar and literature under their noses.  It didn’t help; the class was full.

To make matters worse, I was placed in an experimental class that combined English and social studies.  Almost every parents’ nightmare, an experimental class with your kids as guinea pigs.  The high school system was set up where three days a week students went to six classes for 55 minutes and for two days a week they went to three classes for an hour and half.  The first hour and half session in my English class, I finished the assignment in ten minutes instead of the full time that took the rest of my classmates.  My teachers were astonished; my mother was less then pleased.  I’m betting she probably was near hauling my ass back to Catholic school. 

On the second Friday of my first school year in public school, I was called into the vice-principal’s office during my English period.  I was asked if I would like to move to the Honors English class because they had two students that hadn’t shown up to class.  Apparently my mother had been calling the school every day, trying to get me in, but the decision was mine.  I, of course, went for it.  The vice-principal nodded and told me to hurry back to class so I can finish my work, and I just laughed and told him it was already done.

Monday I walked into my new class.  The teacher explained I would have to work hard to catch up on all the work I had missed.  She handed me a copy of the book they were reading.  I looked at the cover and nearly laughed.  I had read it in sixth grade.  I slid into the class just fine.  The week later my father was in the administration office working on some cases when asked how my progress was doing, if I was able to keep up.  My dad told them I was already caught up as I had read the book years ago.  That shut everyone up. 

In college I learned that I was still head of the curve when it came to grammar.  I worked in the English Department, doing the grunt work that all student workers were forced to do.  I read what I copied, waiting for the sheets to come out.  I was shocked at how many freshman English classes had to teach basic sentence structure and paragraph formation.  As I got older, professors would ask me to help other students with their paperwork.  The first night or two of working with someone, I had to teach them basic diagramming and sentence structure.  Like math, grammar is a building built on a strong foundation.  If you don’t understand the basics, you can’t build a paper.

Today I went to an open house for kindergarten for Evan’s school.  I was pretty sure I wanted to keep Evan there, but The Husband had his doubts because he wants Evan to start learning a foreign language.  While we are now in agreement over keeping Evan in his school, it makes me anxious at what is to come.  I have to make a decision of Evan’s education.

I know that homeschooling isn’t for us.  But how do I pick a good school?  Do I want him to feel the pressure of Catholic school?  Will public school challenge him enough?  What about other private schools?  What about Montessori schools?  Will that work for him?

As I tried to convey my worries and fears to The Husband, he just shrugged them off, saying if we make a mistake we’ll just pull Evan and place him somewhere else. 

Somewhere else?  Where?  And how will we know we made a mistake?  Will he be bombing is SATs before we realized we made a mistake?

I talked with the parents we knew in California last year before we moved when I realized I better start thinking of Evan’s education.  Two moms raved about the Montessori schools their daughters went to, but my own family has had poor luck with the system.  I wondered if it was better gear to oldest and only children who strove for high marks and challenging themselves.  One mom kept working with school systems and moved to two different school districts and then petitioned for a school change before she was happy.   But that was back in California, where at least I could find SOMEONE who messed with the school systems.  Now I’m in Arizona, and I know no one who has kids in school, no one who can show me the ropes. 

Just when I finally get comfortable with the idea I might ruin my children’s mental health and prepare for it, now I have to worry about educational and professional future.  No pressure.

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Ten Second Rule

Evan: Mommy!  Did you wash the floors today?

Well, no.  I haven’t mopped in a few days.  I haven’t vacuumed since . . . what day is it?

Me: Why?

Evan: I just dropped a fishy, and I don’t know if I can eat it.  It might be dirty and full of germs.

Seriously?  Really?  Come on.  If it’s good food, it’s at least a ten second rule.  Fried okra on the other hand is dirty the second it’s in the air.  Chocolate is at least a day, depending where it’s dropped.

Me: Yes.

Evan: Ok.

This has been repeated every day with all sorts of food in the kitchen, in the family room, on carpet, on tile.  This is the side effect of preschool.  My son is becoming a germ-aphobe.  Awesome.  Now if only that would translate to using a fork.

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Preview

This isn’t the real post, but for those of you that have been wondering if I dropped crafts, I did, but I think I had a great reason (you know, vomiting, fatigue also known as morning sickness).  But now that Christmas is coming and, well, the economy has hit us, we’re doing craft gifts this year.  Yea!  Plus I now have energy and only vomit after a serious round of coughing.  (Stupid cough!  I hate you!)  So I thought I would give you a heads up on the crafts this year.

Homemade hot chocolate mix

Chocolate dipped spoons with marshmallows

Chocolate dipped cookies

Apple sauce cinnamon ornaments (love these)

Artwork tiles by Evan and Sean

Now the last ornament I’m in a debate: Gingerbread men (made with cardboard and “decorated” by the boys) or Snowmen (made with styrofoam balls and beads) or maybe both.

So stay tune.  Or heck, give a vote or an idea.

It’s all better

The Husband was wrestling in our bed with the boys.  A favorite past time, that I willingly forgo.  A girl can only evade a broken nose for so long before she’s over the game.  I took the time to catch-up on the many blogs I missed last week.  (If I haven’t made it to you, I’m working on it.) 

As I enjoyed my moments of peace, listening to the sounds of tigers fighting, Sean walked into the room.  He didn’t seem to notice me.  He put on a construction hat, pulled out the tools, and went to work on a boat.  He hammered; he drilled; he screwed; he had no idea what to do with the clamp.  All the while he sang.

“It’s all better.  It’s all better.  It’s all better.”

It dawned on me how fast he was growing.  How sweet he was growing.  How smart he was growing.  How creative he was growing.  He’s not a baby any more.

Well, he told me that last week out of the blue.

“Mommy!  I no baby!”

I know.  That’s why I got one on the way, big boy.

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Yellings in the grocery store

We were at the grocery store with one of those stupid car carts because they had been banned from them for a month earlier and I figured that it was time to try again.  We were in the canned foods aisle picking up food for the food drive, when I heard Evan shouting at the top of his lungs.

Evan: Stop touching my penis!  Stop touching my penis!

I investigated to see Sean had his hands on the wheel, and Evan was just having fun.  Ever have a moment when you couldn’t figure out if you wanted to scream or beat a child?  I pulled Evan out of the cart and quietly explained why we don’t say things like that in public when they are not true.  Then he marched next to me for the rest of the grocery trip.

There has to be an easier job out there.

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