Another Pesky Language Problem

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell? said the 3 year-old.

And I thought, “Oh, that is f-ing awesome.”

***

Tornado A: What the hell?

Me: No.  What is that?

***

Tornado A: What the hell?

Me: No.  Why did you do that, Tornado E?

***

Tornado A: What the hell?

Me: No.  We don’t say that.  What’s that noise?

***

Tornado A: What the hell?

Me: No.  Tornado S, why did you take the toy?

***

Tornado A: What the hell, Mommy?

Me: No.  What are you doing, Mommy?

***

Insert a dozen more corrections.  I start to debate soap.  I start to question my approach.  Why did I just ignore it the first?  He’s too old.  I just didn’t realize he knew what it meant.  I thought he was playing with language.  Christ, he has school.  He goes to a Christian preschool.  Why did I sign him up for preschool?  Oh, right, practicums.  But still!

Tornado A: What the hell?

Me: Tornado A.  You say that again, and you will be going to time out.

Tornado A: No, time out, Mommy.

Me: Then do not say, “What the hell” again.  No more.  Or time out.

5 minutes later . . . .

Tornado A: What the hell?

Me: Time out!

Tornado A: No, Mommy!  No!

Me: You’re not allowed to say “what the hell.”  Time out time.

I set him in the chair.  He scowled.  I scowled back and then ignored him, concentrating on Twitter and Facebook and texting as the timer ran.

Tornado A: What the hell?  What the hell?  What the hell?  What the hell?  What the hell?  What the hell?  What the hell?  (for a full minute and a half.)

He hasn’t said it since, but I’m waiting.

What the hell is wrong with this kid?

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One Response to “Another Pesky Language Problem”

  1. dearanonymousfriend Says:

    sorry, that is funny…. when our oldest was five we were taking fast food to Daddy on the ship (he was in the Navy)… she dropped his milkshake and all of a sudden Dammit, dammit, dammit came out with her feet stomping and arms waving. I picked up the rest of the shake, and then picked up the five year old trying hard not to laugh and admonishing her. Daddy was on the bridge watching all of this, curious… explained what happened and once more she was told not to say that… 30 years later and it is still her favorite word….


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