A little kindness

Some times it’s shocking to receive kindness from strangers.  We’re so used to the rudeness and selfishness of others.  Like the woman who nearly backed up into the boys and I as we walked through the parking lot.  She started backing out just as we were dead-center behind her.  (“It was at a funny angle.” “It’s behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you.”)  Luckily she was slow, and I was able to push the boys in front of me and jumped out of the way.  If I hadn’t had Aidan in my arms, I would’ve kicked her car to scare her.  I don’t think the woman ever saw us.

I’m careful in parking lots.  Cars are bigger; the boys are my responsibility. Even so, I claimed it as my fault when a SUV nearly hit us as we crossed the parking lot.  We were cutting through the spaces at a diagonal.  I was trying to save time, but that wasn’t worth the sacrifice.  The woman driving the SUV was talking on her cell phone when she nearly clipped us.  I sighed and chalked it to my stupidity and moved my ducklings along.

As I searched for the perfect bunch of broccoli, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see the woman from the SUV behind me.  Crap. What now?

The Woman: I’m so glad I found you.  I’m so sorry for nearly hitting you.  I just wanted to apologize.  And my, look how handsome your boys are.  Hi, boys!

Me: Um, uh.  No, it was my fault.  I was cutting through the parking lot.  We must have been hard to see.  I’m usually much more careful.

The Woman: Well, I was driving too fast and on that stupid phone.  People walk through parking lots.  You can’t be too careful.  I hate to think what could have happened.  I’m sorry.

Me: I guess we’ll both take responsibility and be more careful in the future.

The Woman: Fine.  Have a great day!

Me: You too!

Um, weird.

Later I tried to put my groceries on the conveyor belt as Aidan was bound and determined to stand up in the seat of the cart.  He was quite proud of himself.  I had visions of him landing on his head on the hard, cold floor.  I sat him down with a firm “no” and return to put another item or two on the belt to turn to repeat the process all over again.

A woman pulled her cart behind me.  She watched the scene and said goodbye to her friend on her cell phone.  When I turned back to Aidan, she had her hands out to catch him as he stood.

A Woman: No, no, little guy.  Careful.

Me: Thanks.

Giving up on speed and efficiency, giving in to Aidan to be in my arms (Something that will bite me in the ass in later shopping adventures), I picked Aidan up and set him on my hip.

A Woman: If it’s all right with you and he lets me, I can hold him for you.

She held out her arms.  Aidan smiled and dove for her.  My clingy mama’s boy went to a complete stranger, and no, she didn’t look a thing like me or any other woman who holds him frequently.

Me: Sure, thanks.

Though I was a little wary of letting a stranger hold my baby, I threw the rest of my food on to the belt and moved the cart down.  I reached for Aidan who looked at me, not moving towards me.  I pulled him out of the woman’s arms.

Me: Thank you.

A woman: (chuckling) I know how it is.  I had a baby and a toddler and one in school. 

Me: Me too.

A woman: It was nice to hold a baby.

Me: Well, thank you again.  He apparently liked you.  He doesn’t usually go to other people easily and he usually comes back to me in a heartbeat.  So congratulations.  He likes you.

A woman: Wonderful.

Sometimes we forget people still are kind to strangers.

Two

It’s been two years since I wrote this post.  At least I knew it was lame when I wrote it.  It’s been a year since this post, even though this was the post I meant to write, which was late. 

And my world has changed.  I lost my favorite grandpa; I moved back to my hometown; I gained a sister; I had a baby; I started a hub page; I laughed at my kids; I laughed at myself; I fight deamons; I met countless friends who live across the world.  You are what I write for now.  Thank you.

Some fun stats:

This is my 690th post.

I’ve had 4,808 comments, but some of those are mine.

My busiest day was Sept. 22, 2008, when WordPress placed me on their front page and I got 763 hits.  Which was awesome.

Oh and my good friend Femspotter had a little girl last night.  She’s 9lbs and 9ozs, and Femspotter did it without meds, so please go over to her blog and congradulate her.

Book Quiz

Thanks to Ink at Inktopia and Robin at Passions and Soapboxes.  I decided to take this quiz.  And look at this.  I always new I was a bit schizophrenic.  I guess it’s time I read this book because I’ve been meaning to for years.

You’re The Poisonwood Bible!

by Barbara Kingsolver

Deeply rooted in a religious background, you have since become both
isolated and schizophrenic. You were naively sure that your actions would help people,
but of course they were resistant to your message and ultimately disaster ensued. Since
you can see so many sides of the same issue, you are both wise beyond your years and
tied to worthless perspectives. If you were a type of waffle, it would be
Belgian.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

A Little Nostalgia

Do you know what happened last week? 

I was so excited about it two weeks ago.  Then it came and went like a shadow.  It was days later that I realized the date I had been anticipating was gone.

Last week I had my first blog anniversary!

While I love Gibby’s, at LOST in Suburban Bliss, idea of reposting a first post, I couldn’t repost my first post.  Because it sucked.  I even made fun of how much it sucked.  I decided to do what every other blogger does on an anniversary, look back and marvel.

I read an article about Heather Armstrong from Dooce.com and how she and husband can be at home because her blog brought in that much money.  I was curious.  I started reading Ms. Armstrong’s blog, and I was hooked.  She was funny, insightful and brilliant.  Not only was I hooked, but I knew I could do this.  I could write a blog.  I thought, heck, my kid id just as funny, and I have two.  After a few days of researching, I settled on WordPress.com.  I made this blog my birthday present to myself.

I missed writing.  I missed sitting down and working out a tangle dream, hunting the right words, forcing language to do my will, paint a character, a scene, a story.  With the boys, I never had enough time to sweat out a piece of work.  I hardly had time to follow a muse.  I felt something shriveling up in my soul.

But then I started writing.  I became alive.  Relying on age-old writing advice, I read more than I wrote, trolling WordPress for inspiration.  I remember falling in love for the first time with a blog.  Bad Mommy Momments had me at Pervy Mc. Perv.  And I  loved her. 

Since then I have fallen in love with so many blogs.  Slowly I had only time for the blogs I loved, mainly other mommy bloggers.  I relish the little details of those lives, hungry for those scenes, those people, always looking for another person.  I realized we were making our own web.  I came to feel like I knew these women, wanting to actually meet them one day.  I talked about them the way I talked about my friends and family, just I had to give crazier nicknames to make people understand who NDM or Ink or insider53 or Court or any of the other dozen women were. 

Often my mom would say, “Is that the mom with the two adorable girls the boys age or is she the mom with three boys?”  or “Now she has the twin girls, right?” or “This is the one in the Bay area?”  Yeah, Mom, she’s the one and . . . .

I’m amazed at what I have found.  I have found my voice, and I find myself using my Thesaurus more and more like a real writer.  I have found heroes, teachers, and friends.  I have found wisdom and laughter.  I have found a place where I know that no matter how much I doubt, no matter how stupid I act, no matter how nerdy I am, there are other people that understand.

So Thank You for reading.

A Meme thanks to Polymer Clay Snails

What’s your current obsession?

1. Isn’t it obvious?   In fact, I’m embarrassed to admit I’m obsessed with reclaiming my position as number one Hottest User and number one Hottest Blog on the Mom Blog Network, which I need help getting over because the bloggers in those positions like Bad Mommy Moments and The World According to Me and Parenting by Dummies are excellent blogs.

 

What’s you favorite color and why?

I love bright blue.  Not the electric blue but the blue raspberry slurpie blue.  I think it’s a fun color, cheerful, happy, delightful.  I’ve painted tons of stuff with the color, including a few kid furniture pieces.

 

What are you wearing today?

I’m wearing a grey t-shirt with the symbol for Leo that I got a Wal-Mart.  I’m wearing denim shorts that aren’t too short but aren’t any where near my knee.  I don’t usually wear shoes.  Right now, due to the sudden breaking of my Pandora bracelet, I’m only wearing a silver necklace with a tree charm to represent family, hoop earrings, a pair of studs, and a friendship anklet to make my BFF and I friends forever because obviously I’m 28 going on 12. 

Why is today special?

It’s Friday.  We’re working on Mother’s Day Crafts for the blog.  I have to go get birthday party supplies, and hey, we might go get some pizza.  Really, is there anything better than a pizza Friday?

 

What would you like to learn to do?

How long can this list be?  I’d like to learn to work on cars because that just seem so sensible.  I would like to learn to draw because that would be so artistic.  I would like to learn the secret to getting published because that would make things so easy.  I would like to learn how to get Evan to eat more vegetables and fruits because that must be a secret.  I would like to learn to speak another language because my tongue is just too English.  I would really like to learn to dance and play pool really well because those would make me look badass.

 

What’s for dinner today?

That is an excellent question.  I plan to mooch off my family again tonight because my husband would hate to miss turkey dinner left-overs.  I am contributing the appetizer as usual.  I plan on bringing a chocolate-peanut butter apple dip, if it is still good.  If not, I’ll have to whip up something.  Any ideas?

 

What’s the last thing you bought?

An oil change.  Does that count?  If that doesn’t, we went to the dollar store and got a bunch of stuff for party bags.  They also had Master Monkey’s staff, so I had to buy two to see which son would kill the other.  I also got a toy Virgin Mary because that’s just funny.  The craft supplies I meant to buy were forgotten in the need to get a temper-throwing Sean out of there.

 

What are you listening to right now?

Kung Fu Panda because my boys decided not to nap today.  Awesome.

 

What’s your most challenging goal right now?

Either finding and getting Evan into a pre-kindergarten/preschool for next year OR getting my stuff together to file and get more organized before I get another late bill.

 

What do you think about the person who tagged you?

I think Nydia’s really cool.  She’s got such talent, and she’s so creative.  It’s people like her that makes me glad for the blogosphere because I know I would never have met her without it.   So check out her website/blog Polymer Clay Snails.

 

 

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

If I’m thinking practically, it would be here in Tucson, Arizona.  If I could dream, it would be in Maui.

 

Favorite vacation spot?

My favorite spot so far has been Maui, but since I haven’t been on a vacation since my honeymoon, almost six years ago, I would settle for anywhere remotely interesting with a hotel with maid service.

 

What would you like to have in your hands right now?

I like Nydia’s idea of a huge check.  Enough to satisfy my practical side and pay all the bills and get rid of all our debt and still have some left over for some fun. 

 

What would you like to get rid of?

Again, Nydia has it right when she mentioned five pounds and a bunch of flab.  Of course, I need to lose more than five pounds.  I would also like to get rid of all the bachelor furniture we still hjave hanging around our neck.

 

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

For only an hour?  Then I would go to a pool and swim or a nice quiet spot to blog or read.  If I have more than an hour, then I would go to Maui  . . . for a week.

 

What super power would you like to possess?

Telepathy and telekinesis.  I don’t know how many times I wish I could send mental messages or do three things at once.

 

What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?

In my closet?  Not my dresser?  Well, that limits all my t-shirts, jeans, and shorts.  I’ve got some really cool skirts and dresses. . .  I do have The Dress that makes me drop dead hot, but I don’t think I can fit in it anymore, but I won’t give it up. 

What’s your dream job?

I want to be a writer.  I love sci-fi and fantasy.  I would love to write graphic novels.  Or I could write fairy tales.  *sigh*  I just want to write.

 

If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?

Probably Sean’s birthday.  If I could dream, it would be more books.

 

What do you find annoying?

Wells Fargo.  They insist that because they took out the payments before deposits, I had a negative balance, even though I transferred the money without a negative balance.  So they stole 35 bucks and told me it was my fault.  They suck.

 

Describe your personal style.

Easy and fun.  I’m a t-shirts and jeans/shorts girl.  But I have fun shirts like fairies and bright colors, and my new one is a She-Ra shirt.  Come on, that’s cool.

 

What fashion show would you want tickets to?

Fashion show?  What’s that?

 

Who’s closet would you want to raid?

This may sound kind of silly.  But I totally loved how they dressed the character Dharma in that show Dharma and Greg that was on the air several years ago.

 

 

What are you most proud of? 

Nydia stole the easiest one.  I’m most proud of my boys, but if we’re talking about accomplishments, that would be going to college.  I got in on scholarships.  I graduated with a semester more of credits.  I graduated with honors.  I kicked ass.

 

The beautiful bloggers I’d like to know about are:

Whomever wants to do this because I won’t force you, but if you decide to do it, let me know so I can read all about you.  But I think I will go out of my way and tag Ink at Inkatopia because she SO LOVES giving out homework that I thought I return the favor. 

Now the rules of this tag:

1. Respond and rework: answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention.

2. Tag 7 other people you would love to learn more about.

Give me a blog roll, please

 

Holey Cheese!  It’s been a week of Bad Mommy Moments and just waiting for Naptime Writing, going to Inkatopia because I’m Wild for Words, reading my Red Clay Diaries.  But I’m realizing that I’m not Lost in Suburban Bliss and The World According to Me is not real.  It’s according to Evan or Sean.  No, sir, I’m Not Drowning, Mothering is what I call it.  This is Parenting by Dummies.  Oh, Evenshine!  I’m In The Mommy Trenches, trying to be another Incognito Mom in The Momoplex, but I cry over Spilled Milk and burn my Polymer Clay Snails.  Country-Fried Mama f-.  Maybe I should start Praying to Darwin because I’m a Mediocre Perfectionist, though do I not live in Single Mom World.  Thank Darwin for that.  Then again I hear that Kaiya’s Laughter Heals, so maybe I should start praying to Kaiya.  Commonterri! I really need to get back to A Mother’s Walk.  *!

 

 

 

This is a continual work in progress.  Because I can’t think of where I can put some of my favorites.  Looking at you, The Fem Spot.

Please Hold Due to Technical Problems: Or what the f-

When my husband is home, he takes over the computer, as is only right as he is working.  But where does that leave a blog-writing-blog-reading addict as myself?  It leaves me pacing the damn house, reading blogs from my Blackberry Storm, and wondering if it took me two hours to type a post would it be worth it.  Due to my insanely slow texting abilities, I have said no.  I do have laptop with supposed internet capabilities, which is only letting me get “limited connectivity.”  Saying there is limited connectivity is like saying you’re only a little pregnant.  It’s you are or you’re not.  So during naptime, I shall discuss my connectivity with my internet provider and find out what the bleep is going on.  I hope to read and write soon.  I miss you all.

Horray for Poetry

It’s National Poetry Month, which I learned from reading Inktopia and Evenshine.  As a show of solidarity, I thought I would post one of my favorite poems.  This one haunts me.  It never seems to let me go, and I would like to learn to write like that.

 

Siren

By Amy Gerstler

 

I have a fish’s tail, so I’m not qualified to love you.

But I do. Pale as an August sky, pale as flour milled

a thousand times, pale as the icebergs I have never seen,

and twice as numb- my skin is such a contrast to the rough

rocks I lie on, that from far away it looks like I’m a baby

riding a dinosaur. The turn of centuries or the turn

of a page means the same to me, little or nothing.

I have teeth in places you’d never suspect. Come. Kiss me

and die soon. I slap my tail in the shallows- which is to say

I appreciate nature. You see my sisters and me perched

on rocks and tiny islands here and there for miles:

untangling our hair with our fingers, eating seaweed.

A Meme for Ink

I’m doing this for Ink over at Inkatopia.  For some reason, she loves memes, and I’m getting into her good graces, so that she will post a journal entry.  So if you want to play, be my guest.  Just let us know so we can read your responses.

1. How did you come up with your blog title OR what does it mean?

I like faeries, I’m a little weird, and I’m a mom.  I wrote a whole post explaining it to my brother. (http://faemom.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/for-my-brother/)

1. What are your general goals for blogging?

I like to entertain people.  I like to stretch my creative and intelligent muscles.  This really keeps me from going crazy.

1. Do people “in your real life” know that you blog and do they comment on your blog OR is it largely anonymous?

A few people know.  Rarely do they comment.  My mom and my husband take great pride in telling people I blog, like being at home with the kids isn’t enough.  Sheesh.  But I am anonymous for my husband’s sanity.

1. How often do you post (x per week)?

I try to post every day, like a mental exercise, like when I used to journal or write.

1. How often do you read other blogs (x per week)?

I read every day, excluding the days my husband has taken over the computer and I curl up in a ball going through withdrawals.  I have to set an amount time or I would spend all day reading and let the boys play with matches.

1. How do you select blogs to read (do you prefer blogs that focus on certain topics or do you choose by tone or…?)

I mainly read Mommy Blogs because there are so many hilarious moms out there.  But I do read a really great religious blog and a really cool feminist blog.

1. Do you have any plans to copy your blog entries in any other format, 0r do you think that one day, you’ll just delete it all?

I really should copy them because I don’t know how long I would cry and wear a black armband if I lost all of these posts.

1. What are the things you like best about blogging?

It gives me a creative writing outlet that I can do quicker than writing a story.  (Ever try to write a story when you’re watching kids?  Don’t.)

1. What are the things you don’t like about blogging?

I wonder if I could be devoting my time to “real” writing.

1. How do you handle comments?  Some bloggers never respond to commenters, others answer all commenters, and still others pick and choose.  (1) As a blogger, which is your practice and why? 

I try to comment back on everyone’s comments because I think blogging is a create place to create a dialogue.

 (2) As a commenter, do you care/check back to see if the blogger has responded to you?

Sometimes when it’s easy.  I should do it more often because I love the dialogue.

(3) If you are a reader but never comment, why (this last question may not work since…um…you don’t comment, but maybe you could make an exception)?

1. Optional: add your own topic here: any burning thoughts to share on blog etiquette? desired blog features? blog addiction?  blog vs. facebook?

I think it’s easy to be pigeon-holed into a subject, just because you don’t want to offend your fans with something edgy.  And I have serious blog-addiction.  I have to write or I think I would let my fans down, and I have to read because there are just so many damn awesome blogs out there.  As for facebook, that is now the place where I keep my CA friends updated on the boys.

 

Journal Meme

I’m only doing this so that Ink will publish a journal entry.

 

 1. When did you begin keeping a journal/diary?  I dabbled in high school on loose leaf paper when I needed to get all those confusing emotions out.  Several of my good friends gave me journals when I graduated high school.  I finally cracked one open to use it mid way through my freshman year in college. 

2. Do you journal regularly or sporadically?  I used to regularly write throughout college.  Now it’s sporadic when I need some sort of catharsis.  Nothing is better to keep secrets or pain locked away.

3. Which, if any, of the following things do you use your journal for?: recording dreams, creative writing, arguing with particular individuals (your boss, your parents, your lover, etc.), listing books/movies, tracking your weight/diet/exercise, composing unsent/unsendable letters.  It used to be a chronicle of my life.  Now it’s more when I need to say something, to pour out the negative feelings and worries, so that I can keep being an up-beat parent.  I tried to record dreams, but I’ve always been one of those up and running kind of people.

4. What other purpose(s) do you use your journal for?  Isn’t this like question number 3?  It’s the place were I put all my raw emotions to be trapped in dead paper.  A place where I can sound out what I need to listen for.

5. What kind of material text do you use for a journal? (For example: leather bound hard-cover, cheap spiral notebook, etc.)  I hunt down ones with fairies on it.  Surprise.  Surprise.  I almost always write in black ink.  There used to be these great black ink pens I used to use, but they are no longer on the market.  My brother bought me a couple of journals and pens for my last birthday.

6. Where do you keep your old journals?  Um, I call it my soul box because it has all kinds of important, soul-telling items in it.  I collaged it with all kinds of cool sayings on the outside.

7. How often, if ever, have you read through your old journals?   I used to go through them once a year to better connect with myself.  But I haven’t done that for years. 

8. Have you ever allowed anyone else to read your journals?  No.  Actually I’ve made my best friend promise to burn them if she outlives me.  I just sound so  . . . childish.  And it’s a written record of plain stupidity in a lot of places.  I totally don’t want my kids to know what kind of trouble their mama was into. 

9. How has your journal keeping changed since you began blogging?  Because I devote so much time to the blog, I tend not to journal as much as I did.  Besides it’s nice to call up your best friend and bitch.

10. Upload a picture of your journals (or as many as you can).  Hahahahaha.  We all know how I don’t do pictures.  Stupid Vista hates my scanning program.