As much as I complain about my husband (and I do . . a lot), there has to be something said when he rolls with the punches of many father dilemmas. Basically he deals with the feminist vibe pretty well. To start with, while he did not like at first that I kept my maiden name, he never made it an issue and has accepted that I will probably never change it. That was only to prepare him for the boys and their mother’s strong influence.
As I had hinted on in another post or two, Evan is just plain fascinated with faeries. He has learned that there is a disneyfairies.com, which he frequently repeats the Internet address. He will sit in front of the computer and watch the mini-movies of Tinker Bell and her friends over and over again. Being a resourceful, toddler, Evan has also found my secret stash of faery toys (due to the fact that I collect faeries, I limit the ones I have on display as not to freak my husband out, but in the past, when male testosterone ran too deep, more faeries were brought out). Evan will play with the faeries for an hour or two, which is in toddler time, like hours. Sean too likes to play with the new toys.
My best friend has explained to my husband that Evan enjoys faeries because they fly. Evan likes to fly. He likes Peter Pan and Superman. But faeries have wings. So do angels. The other day Evan found a large oval piece of cardboard and placed it behind his back. Then he came to me and said, “Look, Mommy, I’m an Angel of God!” (The phrase comes from the Catholic “Guardian Angel” prayer that we use instead of the normal “As I Lay Me Down to Sleep.”)
Along with faeries, Evan has a little kitchen. I did have to convince my husband to trust me on this as he looked longingly at the skateboards as a good birthday present. My god, Evan’s three, not ten; no skateboards yet. But Evan loves to help me cook, climbing on a chair he’s dragged over just to have a look. Sean is usually crying at my feet to be picked up, so he too can watch. Both boys play with pots and pans. Saturday mornings are exciting because they help me with muffins, and then they get to lick the spoons. When Evan awoke on his birthday to find a kitchen waiting for him, he immediately commenced making pancakes for his dad. I just smiled a I-told-you-so smile. The Husband is still impressed that Evan and Sean love playing with the kitchen. Now it keeps the boys busy; while, I cook dinner. Besides my husband worked as a short order cook in his youth before getting into advertising.
Now Evan is curious and does get into my nail polish, glitter, and lip gloss. He smears lip gloss all over his mouth and says he’s so cute. Yes, he has used that phrase on clothes. My favorite was when he tried on a new outfit and announced he felt pretty. Again I have convinced my husband that it’s all pretty normal. Both my brothers would beg my grandma to pain their nails too like their big sister. They both turned out hetro, which I think all that matter to young fathers. They’re just scared that their sons might not be able to relate to their fathers, and how can a father love a son that he can’s relate to? But those fathers usually learn that they can love no matter what.
Now let’s discuss to first word of the title. Witch. Yesterday at the material store, to get Evan interested in something other than wondering back to the stamps, I showed Evan a display of costume patterns, explaining that Halloween was coming and we need to start thinking about our costumes.
Me: What do you want to be?
Evan: A witch.
He pointed to a witch costume that was beautiful with the hat and the sparkled dress. I do think it was the hat that did it for Evan, but just in case, I knew I had to act fast because I didn’t think my husband would deal to well with a witch’s DRESS.
Me: What a great idea! You can be a boy witch.
Evan: (thinking and considering) Yes, a boy witch. Papi (my dad) can be a witch too with Grandma. And you can be a ghost, Mommy. And Seanny, he can be a Halloween pumpkin.
Well, that settles that. I guess I should fix his magic wand for the occasion. Boy witches like wands, right?