Another Peeing Incident

Or peeing during time-out as a way to protest your “unfair” treatment.

Tornado E’s pressing buttons AGAIN.  He’s pressing MY buttons again.  Yesterday he was in time out four times.  Three of those times were for hitting or pushing Tornado S . . . hard.  I held my anger and put him in time out.  The second time he went into time out, he learned to spit.  Tornado S, who was watching Tornado E (fascinated that his brother was actually sitting still for once), also learned to spit.  Awesome.  Then when it was time to discuss the time out, I noticed Tornado E had peed.  When I asked him why he peed, he giggled.  That’s right, he giggled.

Then the third time he was in time out, he was still naked from the last time out and peeing session.  I watched in horror as he bore down and pushed out his piss.  The little brat actually did it on PURPOSE.  So I jumped down into the foyer and tried to cover his penis and make him stop.  Why don’t I just reverse the Colorado River while I’m at it?  So I stopped the time out clock (after washing my hands) and handed him some paper towels to clean up every drop of piss.  Then he was back in time out for four minutes. (I’m trying a longer punishment when he hurts Tornado S.)  To pass the time, he started to spit again.  I told him to stop or he was going back into time out.  He did it a couple more times.  Resisting the urge to slap him, I heard the time out beep.  I talked to him about hitting Tornado S and sent him back to time out for three minutes.  Finally time out was a punishment as he pleaded his apology from the time out chair.

So now what am I going to do with a boy who pees in protest of his time out?  My mom suggested a spanking, but I have used that discipline only in life threatening emergencies like walking in the street or parking lot.  It worked too.  Even Tornado S will not walk into the street.  But I’m not sure if I want to use that kind of discipline unless it’s my only option.  Of course, two of my parenting books have no mention of peeing as a protest.  On to the third and final book.  Any suggestions out there?


5 Responses to “Another Peeing Incident”

  1. Lindsey Says:

    A friend of mine does time outs in the tub so if her daughter pees, she has to sit in it- and then be bathed before getting out, which the girl sees as torture.

  2. holeycheese Says:

    He has made the time out to a situation where he always wins. So I would suggest that you change to some other kind of punishment.

    We usually go for natural consequences.. like if the kids keep fighting or if one hits the other one – we don’t let them play in the same room for the next half an hour. If they are not picking up the toys before bedtime (after asking them to do so like four times) I get a big plastic bag and I take away everything that is left on the floor for a couple of days. With the peeing incidents I would say – if he would feel insulted from it – put on a diaper for maybe half an hour (don’t if you think that could damage the potty training) another option would be to let him clean it up by himself (but not if he sees that as a funny game.. that depends on the child)
    If our four-year-old put the shoes on the wrong foot on purpose just to make it take longer time to get ready(can clearly tell when he is doing that) – we can let him walk with shoes on wrong foot first.. and only after a while change it right.

    I think you can see what kind of things I mean..

    And last but not least.. you can avoid many fights by “taking them in the right time” If they are clearly too tired to behave – give them something small to eat and drink.. then they get some new energy. Or distract them by suggesting doing some handcraft.. like putting stickers on a paper, painting, building lego.. or whatever would work.

    wuups.. I almost wrote a book here. I’m sorry.

  3. faemom Says:

    Holeycheese and Lindsey: Thank you very much for your suggestions. For me, parenting is one of those things that you can’t seem to find enough help to figure out problems.

  4. Xia Xi'an Says:

    Good luck with that one! My son can’t be disciplined at all. Time out hasn’t worked, spanking hasn’t worked, yelling hasn’t worked. My son spits on purpose and recently has begun hitting US on purpose (not just his sister), and here we sit in our 30’s dealing with a 3 year old who seems to not care what his punishment is. He’s going to do what he wants, and if you make HIM angry, well then, you’d just better watch it!

    I wish I had something really solid to give you. The only thing I can suggest is telling your son that it makes you angry (or sad or disappointed or whatever it is it makes you feel) when he does something like this and seeing if that curbs the behavior. After all, it does make us feel that way oftentimes, so we’re not lying are we? And most psychologists will say to always be honest about how you feel about an action someone is doing that you don’t like. It’s not emotional blackmail in this case because you’re trying to curb a negative behavior. It’s not like you’re guilting him into doing something for you… that would be the aforementioned emotional blackmail – which this is not.

  5. faemom Says:

    Xia Xi’an: Thanks for the tip. I hope you can find some way to manage your little one. Good luck.

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