Raising Boys

Since I have two boys, I really can’t compare them to girls.  But I have a heard time believing a little girl would try to get you to sniff her butt.  Again, maybe they do, and I just don’t know because right now I am raising boys.  Yet they seem to be just a little different.  I’m not talking about high energy levels or potty humor because I’ve seen hyperactive girls and I watched kindergarten girls laugh at fart jokes.  But there is something so manly as trying to force a burp or a fart.

Evan has been trying to force himself to burp for months.  Months.  If you have read the other posts, you know he can’t quite get it.  He just does a pretend burp, and in case I missed the “burp,” he proudly exclaims that he just burped.  Growing up with brothers, boy cousins, and all their boy friends, I have learned that it is a proud achievement to burp your name, vowels, or ultimately the alphabet.  While I am sure my husband enjoys these boyish antics, I have never caught him teaching or complementing Evan on his fine burping skills.  Leaving me to believe, that this must be a natural trait, like running, jumping, or gossiping.  I only wonder what evolutionary value force burping has other than crude entertainment.  Not one to force a change on nature if it is harmless, I just make Evan excuse himself after every burp, hoping secretly it becomes too tedious to do both and give up his pretend burping.  Like I have a chance.

A couple of weeks ago, Evan put his hand down his underwear to scratch his butt.  For some reason, he sniffed his finger.  A discovery!  “Mommy, do you want to smell my finger?”  Are you kidding?  No.  But somehow my face betrayed the horror I felt as I calmly said “No, we don’t smell other people’s fingers” because he became insistent.  Great.  The other day he was naked and climbed up my back, trying to put his butt in my face, saying “smell it, Mommy, smell it.”  What?  I remember my brothers trying to fart on each other’s heads or just to clear a room.  When did my cute, sweet son become a little ape like his uncles?  Again I wish I could point my finger at my husband, after all he too is a boy, but I know he hasn’t played any boyish antics like this.  Wait, let me check.  Just like I thought a no with a weird look of “why would I teach him that?”  It was worth a shot to find out where this behavior came from. (Not my brothers either because this behavior would have occurred right after our family visit, not weeks afterwards.)

The only thing I can blame my husband for is Evan’s colorful language.  Evan has learned the word “scumbag.”  Watch last weeks Sand Diego/Denver game, and you would know how Evan picked up the language.  (Stupid football.)  At least Evan was napping through most of the colorful language.  While my husband chuckled, thinking it could be worse, I pointed out that Evan WILL use it in public and I hope my husband is around when people give us looks.  I curbed my language, and I need my husband to curb hi or he’ll have to watch the game at a bar.  (I know what a horrible punishment.  Watching a football game while drinking a beer surrounded by other football fans.)  I’m not raising a little hoodlum.

So somehow I got stuck raising boys, which should have been a foregone conclusion because of the all the boys in the families.  Now I have to pray that one day they will grow up to be civilized.  I know this is just the tip of the iceberg; we have elementary and high school yet to got.  It’s going to be a whole lot worse before it gets better.  I just am shocked how certain behaviors are innate.  God help me.

10 Responses to “Raising Boys”

  1. Evenshine Says:

    As the mother of a girl, I can assure you that they, too, have a special- um- charm. I think the curiosity is great! Just wait for BO and jock itch and lighting their farts on fire! Woo-hooooo…..

  2. badmommymoments Says:

    Raising Girls

    While my daughter was being potty trained she went through a period of time when she’d have bad rashes. (She refused to wipe correctly and got very upset if I tried to clean things up when she felt she was done.) This meant that we had a strange desitin/ panties combination going most of the time. For some reason this fascinated her. And because she found it so interesting, she felt strangers would also. I can’t tell you how many times she’d publicly announce to anyone who smiled at her that “Mommy puts whipped cream on my gy-nie. Makes it feel better.” I’d always follow up with a nervous laugh and, “Desitin, sweetie, not whipped cream.” But, as you can imagine, no one ever listened to me…

  3. Duckie Says:

    My first born is a daughter. My son…as they say “A boy is a boy” 😕

    He burps one after the other and thinks it’s hilarious. He farts and thinks it’s the funniest thing that happened. He thinks he’s Spiderman and ends up accidentally pelting someone (kids or adult). He is my “mimicer”. My daughter won’t ever repeat a bad word. Him…he sneaks them in. He knows they’re bad, but he’ll get it out. 😆

  4. faemom Says:

    Thanks for the comment. I worry about my sanity in the future.

    As always you consistently crack me up and make me feel better.

    Thanks for the comment. Did you ever imagine that they were right about “boys will be boys”?

  5. dovetails Says:

    You might enjoy a book that just came out called BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS, A HEADMASTER”S REFLECTIONS (my father is the author). After 42 years in education, 30 as the headmaster of both coed and boys schools he decided it would be fun to write about the unique way boys relate to their world. You can look for the book on amazon, or if you just would like to read a sample Dad has a small blog: http://brianwalshweblog.wordpress.com/
    PS Love the avatar

  6. faemom Says:

    Thank you for the suggestion. I’ll have to look up the book.

  7. Christi Says:

    The other day we were in a story and my daughters, 3 and 5, were walking alongside the cart singing “peepee, poopoo, doodoo in you bootie butt” at the top of their lungs and laughing hysterically!!! DH was mortified, I was laughing right with them. You have to have a since of humor with kids or you will, in fact, go crazy!!–Christi

  8. faemom Says:

    That’s hilarious!

  9. incognitomom Says:

    Oh, can I relate to this! I am the older sister to a younger brother. I grew up surrounded by him and his friends making crude fart noises and jokes. I’ve always had more male friends than female friends and I can attest that men do indeed think burping the alphabet is truly an accomplishment. I have a 12 year old nephew who learned how to force his farts out at the age of two and proudly announce his deed to the world. I am now the mother of a two year old boy who thinks farts and burps are the most hilarious thing in the world and who as of late has become overly fascinated by diarrhea. All I can say is that somehow most of these boys turn into decent men. All we can do is try to instill decency and manners in our sons and hope for the best.

  10. faemom Says:

    Haha. It’s a dirty job, isn’t it? Trying to make sure our boys become something presentable.

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