Disneyland

Honestly I have to say I love the place.  Though sometimes I find it particularly evil.  I mean after the huge price you pay to enter the park they gouge with the high prices for food, drink, and souvenirs. The complete immersion that is Disney entertainment, all selling the cradle to the grave advertising.  But they still have Space Mountain.

I should confess that I used to disneyland, as in my dad was worried I would flunk out of college my first semester because I was off disneylanding.  I went to a college that was close enough to the park for me to buy a Disneyland pass.  In those days it was a hundred bucks for 300 days.   Perfect for out of state college students who wouldn’t be in town for the blocked out days any ways.  Yes, in my freshman semester, I had a Disneyland partner with a car that went to Disneyland every chance he could, and I naturally was excited to get off campus, much less to Disneyland.  Basically you could say I know the ends and outs of the place pretty well.

I was nearly jumping with excitement to take Tornado E who was now old enough to experience Disneyland, voicing his likes and dislikes.  Tornado E was just excited to be with his Grandma and Papi.  After we got into the park going through bag check, ticket sales, and the entrance, we had to drop things off in a TEN DOLLAR locker (absolutely necessary because I had brought lunches, several changes of underwear, sleeping items, and extra clothes).  My mom and I debated the closest bathroom, settling on one that was just outside Fantasyland, leaving us in perfect reach of Alice in Wonderland and the Teacups.  Tornado E was “done” with Alice in Wonderland half way through.  At first, he asked us to keep the teacups slow until he warmed up to it as Tornado S, being held by his Papi, reached out to us, begging to let him come too.  Next was Dumbo, where Tornado E  decided at the last minute there was no way on earth that he would go.  Peter Pan worked out well, but it was about this time that I realized Tornado E was in shock and needed some time out.  He was quiet and actually wanted to ride in the stroller.  What?

After a little snack and chasing some birds around empty tables, we decided to try the carousal. Tornado S was excited because he had a brass pole.  He laughed and banged on it.  Tornado E wasn’t sure what the hell was going to happen.  What the hell did his mom got him into?  Then the carousel started to move, and Tornado E became excited, and Tornado S gritted his teeth and held on.  Near the end, Tornado S relaxed and enjoyed the ride.  Later we would go on it again as Tornado S reached toward the glittery lights of the carousel. 

After lunch and an hour of rest, which Tornado S slept and Tornado E was read to over and over again, we rode the Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Jungle Cruise, which in the scary parts Tornado S just held on with a death grip and waited for it to be over.  Tornado E freaked out when the toilet flushed near him, and that was the end of wanting to go potty for the rest of the day.  Great.

We went to the mother and baby center for Tornado E to try the training potties.  Actual toddler-size flushing toilets.  Wow!  Are you kidding?  This place has it all.  Tornado E refused to go as I changed Tornado S.  Fine.  We went out, and Tornado E asked for a sip of Papi’s drink.  So I pulled out the juice.

Me: Tornado E, do you want some juice?

Tornado E: No, thanks.  We have soda!

Awesome.

As we walked into Tomorrowland to ride the somewhat new Buzz Lightyear ride, Tornado E spied the rockets and demanded to ride that.  What?  You didn’t want to ride Dumbo; what makes you think you can handle the Rockets?  We convinced him to do the Buss Lightyear ride, and after convincing him that we would buy him the laser gun at the end of the day if he didn’t want anything else, he demanded to ride the rockets.  Fine.  We’ll see if you stay in line.  I briefly remember my brother wanting to ride the Boomerang at Knott’s Berry Farm when he was like ten or so, and when the rollercoaster passed the line that he was in front of with my parents (as my baby brother and I felt we were to smart to try and waited at the exit), they turned to ask my brother, who had finally found the courage to ride Space Mountain that year, what he thought, only to find him hurtling over the bars that formed the line, to far to grab and drag back.  Tornado E amazingly held in there and loved the rockets.

Tornado E did fall asleep in my mom’s arms as we waited in our longest line to ride the Submarines.  We waited a whole half an hour.  Laughable in my younger years, it was more tedious because I was trying to keep two toddlers entertained.  But we hung in there.  We actually made it to the fireworks.  Well, almost, Tornado S started throwing a fit due to lack of nap and wouldn’t be consoled by anyone but his mother, who rocked him asleep.

But before the fireworks and the huge unicorn sucker, Tornado E finally went pee.  My mom unsuccessfully tried to convince Tornado E to try the other potties and even the toddler potty.  Finally I took him in, with tears running down Tornado E’s face, fearing the rushing water of the toilets.  “Tornado E, just pee like your in the backyard,” I said as leaned him over the potty.  After a minute, he started to pee!  I pushed his penis towards the toilet as it started to spray on the back of the toilet.  At the end, I shook his penis a little.  When I told my dad, he threw back his head in laughter.  When he was able to catch his breath, he asked, “So done it before have you?”  Do I need to remind you how many boys and men I’ve seen pee?  That shut him up because he wouldn’t want to think about when his daughter was alone in college unsupervised.

Besides I’m a mom of two boys.

My husband went with Tornado E to buy his laser gun, feeling very proud and like a cool father for buying his son a toy his toddler had picked out.  Very cool until he realized he just bought a gun for a three year old.  So my husband told Tornado E he could only shoot robots, and Tornado E pointed to some people and exclaimed, “Those are robots!”  Well, he tried.

At the end of the day, my mom asked Tornado E what he liked best.  He described Pele in front of the Tiki Room.  Wouldn’t you believe it?  The thing he remembered most was the talking Tiki goddess of fire that scared him almost straight out of the waiting area.

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