Apologies

To my Beloved Readers,

        Especially Penelope, badmommymoments, and Lindsey,

 

I apologize for my rant yesterday.  It is one of my fatal flows to allow myself a short snapping fuse that explodes with a horrible rant, like a thunderstorm that comes in, destroys, and leaves.  I thank you for reading and responding.  (I can actually picture badmommymomments rolling her eyes.)  I told my father about my rant who told me I’m becoming too sensitive, which is probably true.  He listens to my rants quietly and then turns the mirror my way, so does my best friend.  Maybe I’m a little unbalanced because she’s away, yet again, for her work, and I think it just might be that time of the month.

 

But really you didn’t need to witness (or read) a whiney, angry rant with all bark and no bite, sort of.  What was I pissed about that some one wants to be June Clever?  I don’t, so why should I care?  And I really don’t understand how you do it Lindsey with everything you do around your house or you, Penelope, with a professorship and two boys.  I’m amazed.  I promise I will reread To Hell with All That and clarify myself better, and I think I might read a few other books on the subject as well, seeing that this hit some nerve that needs to be explored.

 

As I also explained my actions today to my husband as he fixed himself a plate, he didn’t see my problem with the word housewife as the book explains it.  So I casually asked if he wouldn’t mind be called a househusband*.  He said he preferred the term domestic economist.  Ha!

 

So in conclusion, I again thank you for your patience, and if I write about this weirdness of being a housewife as I come to terms with it, fill free to roll your eyes and move on to the next post.  And badmommymomments, you might have noticed I said a dozen cookies out of the refrigerated dough, which actually comes in 18 cookie packs.  I eat a half dozen raw.


* My husband dreams of the day where he has retired with a large sum; while I go to work.   He believes he’ll be able to do a better job than me, even though he is allergic to house work. He has actually said, “I’ll have gourmet food on the table, the kids cleaned and not fighting, and the house will look so good Better Homes and Gardens will want take its picture.”  Granted this vision is several years away, and the said kids will be in school.

5 Responses to “Apologies”

  1. badmommymoments Says:

    What? No apologies! Rant away, my friend. You’re a mother – heck, you’re a woman – you’ve earned the right.

  2. penelope Says:

    I actually *loved* your rant, and I’m glad you posted it. It’s healthy to voice those emotions, and it helps those of us who may feel similarly about certain things but haven’t spoken it. So to you, a big hug and a thank you for articulating how you felt! Bravo! And I say keep it up!

  3. faemom Says:

    You guys are awesome. Thank you.

    I’ll admit I like to complain, but I am also one of thiose shit-or-get-off-the-pot. So to read my words that are embedded on paper, just cools me down. Besides it goes against my “we are the fashion police” philosophy and the “we’re all doing our best with what we have” philosophy. So just to let you know I have a big mouth, no tact, but I plan to be more elequent in the future.

  4. GoodEnoughWoman Says:

    You might also look into the “good enough principle” philosophy. I discovered the term in an article about technology and decided to apply it to womanhood (and my blog). There is a current backlash in our society against woman who decide to stay home. It’s like, “Okay, you have the right to choose to work now, so if you choose to stay home, you better be DAMNED good at it.” Perfect in fact. Homemade organic babyfood. Homemade whole grain bread. Backyard farming. Homeschooling. No media. Art and music lessons at age four. Bilingual (or trilingual) kids by age six. And so on. Maybe some women can do this, but the problem comes when we all try to meet these standards, some of which are quite arbitrary.

    I do not meet these standards. At all. But I am good enough. And I was blown away the other day when my stay-at-home mom friend told me that she feels guilty about not doing more for/with her kids. I was stunned. But she said that even though she’s with them 24/7, she feels guilty for not doing more art or enriching projects, etc. I know why I feel guilty–because I work and spend quite a bit of my time away from my kids (among other things). But if she feels guilty? Then that means most women do. Which is absurd.

    You’re freak out is completely understandable Faemom. We are all sensitive to these dynamics. I think it’s the supermom backlash that helps make us this way.

  5. faemom Says:

    Thank you GoodEnoughWoman for your comments and wisdom.
    I agree with you one hundred percent. I feel you are very right about the pressure on stay-at-home moms, and I think it ups the anti for all moms because now the working mom or the mom who isn’t going to hand make the birthday party favors feel like they’re lacking, and so they anti up on the crafty stay-at-home mom, who ups the anti so she doesn’t feel inadequate. All the while we are all being goaded by the media and various industries to be the perfect mom and all the guilt that comes from not being that perfect mom. We’re going to implode.


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