The Second Penis Rule

So Tornado E is willfully breaking penis rule number 2.  If I had it in writing somewhere and he could actually read, I would point to it over and over again.  For those of you who won’t look back.

 

Penis Rule #2.  You may only touch your own penis.  No one else’s.

 

This is a vital personal skills rule, much along the lines of no hitting or touching someone’s face.  Most people freak out when you touch their face, so imagine how much more they would freak out if you touched their groin.  Yea, all these crazy social rules.

 

A few days ago, the boys were taking a bath, and as the energetic and neglectful parent that I am, I cleaned the bathroom and set out their clothes for after the bath.  When I returned, I noticed Tornado E touching Tornado S’s penis.  What are you doing?! 

 

No, Tornado E, we don’t touch other people’s penises.  I turn around to grab the soap, and when I looked back, Tornado E was touching Tornado S’s penis again! 

 

No, Tornado E, we don’t touch other people’s penises!  Then I watched him do it again.  As I usually slap the back of the hand when I tell Tornado E not to touch something and he does it again, I realized I didn’t want to hit Tornado S.  So I bopped Tornado E on the top of the head.  Tornado E let go of Tornado S’s penis and glared at me.

 

Tornado E: Mommy, don’t hit me!

 

Me: Tornado E, don’t touch Tornado S’s penis.

 

Tornado E: Mommy, don’t hit me!

 

Me: I’ll make you a deal.  You don’t touch Tornado S’s penis; I won’t hit you.

 

Tornado E: I was tickling Tornado S’s penis.  He liked it.

 

Ok, what crazy freak am I raising now?

 

And Tornado S could care less as he was too busy playing with the bath toys to care what was going on.

 

Me: We don’t tickle any one’s penis, do you understand?

 

Tornado E: Ok.

 

Before I could trust Tornado E’s submission to the rules, I finished washing Tornado S and yanked him out of the bath.   Luckily there has been no other abuse of rule 2, but I am keeping a look out.  What is it with boys and penises?

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7 Responses to “The Second Penis Rule”

  1. Lindsey Says:

    My son is two, and he is obsessed with penises and “poopers”. He’s even pulled down the back of his sister’s pants to point to her “pooper”. If I’m bending over and within reach he wants to pull down my pants to see MY pooper, too.

    So we’ve started with the “you can play with yours but no one else’s.”

    It is SO frustrating! Seriously, what is WITH boys and private parts? My daughter was never that curious. Even now, when she sees her brother pulling down his pants she just gets confused and starts asking “why is he doing that? Why does he care? Doesn’t he know that butts are gross?”

  2. holeycheese Says:

    I have nooo idea.. I only know my 4-year-old is still painting the whole bathroom with pee once in a while… just for fun.. and he’s been without diapers for 1,5 years!!
    Girls get the boobs later.. why can’t boys get the penis only when they get old enough to handle it??? 🙂

  3. holeycheese Says:

    …it’s even worse when boys can’t keep their hands off girls.. I wrote a post about it a couple of months ago about a boy at kindergarten that keeps touching my daughter all the time. He is four.. old enough to be a pervert.. young enough to not understand how wrong it is.

  4. C Says:

    How do you keep from actually rolling on the floor with hysterical laughter?

  5. faemom Says:

    I think it’s safe to say we all agree that boys just love their penises. Ah those so hard social rules.
    C. It takes a calming breath so that I can move one. Laughing while I explain rule number 2 probably wouldn’t help, especially since my boys are blossomming comedians.

  6. evenshine Says:

    My theory is that they play with them cause they’re THERE. My 7-month-old has just found his! Yikes. Girls just don’t seem to have the same interest.

  7. faemom Says:

    Oooh, an even better theory than mine!


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