Daddy’s Song! or Is it morning al -f-ing-ready?

I won’t let anyone watch TV during dinner.  I’m not sure where I learned it because my family always leaves the TV on, even when they are eating in the dining room and have no visual access to the TV.  But because I find it a little weird to eat in silence (My husband often comes home after dinner, and the boys aren’t great dining conversationalist yet; other than “I don’t like it!  Can I go now? Can I have cookies?” or “Peeeease!  Juice!”), I have started playing my iPod during dinner.  It only took a month before I decided I couldn’t endure another meal with kiddie music, so now we play a shuffle now.

 

Last night as we ate “One Week” by the Barenaked Ladies came on the iPod, and Evan straightened up in his seat.

 

Evan: That’s Daddy’s song!  It plays on the radio in Mommy and Daddy’s room!  Then Daddy shuts it off in the dark and goes back to sleep!  Ah-shoo.  Ah-shoo.  Ah-shoo.  Then he starts making daddy noises!  That’s what daddies do!

 

Shall I explain?  We own a CD alarm, and every morning “One Week” plays to wake us up.  It is actually “Mommy’s song” because Mommy CANNOT stand that stupid, irritating beeping sound that just makes me want to walk into the office of the jerk who thought that was a great noise to wake up to and beat him to death with a mallet.  My husband does not care as he’s a snoozer, and I find that terribly annoying too.  It is only due to my inability to spring into action for anything, but a child’s cry, in the morning that has kept my husband alive for so many years.  As for “One Week,” it is the only song that we could agree on.  He would rather wake up to AC/DC, and I have always preferred Hole as a morning wake up call. 

 

As for daddy noises, my husband snores . . . LOUDLY.  As in hibernating bear loudly.  As in the neighbors who live two houses down can hear it loudly.  As in a dozen chainsaws running loudly.  As in a six on the Richter scale loudly.  Luckily I am a heavy sleep, except during pregnancy, which might explain why we spend nearly nine months arguing on why we’re still married and crazy enough to have a child.

 

How does Evan know this?  God, with his infinite wisdom and sense of humor, gave two night owls two early birds.  So when Evan wakes at say 5:30, I allow him to A) snuggle with Mommy and Daddy or B) turn on the TV in Mommy and Daddy’s bedroom and watch cartoons.  The alarm goes off at 6:15, then at 6:25, and, and if I hadn’t kicked my husband out of bed yet, 6:35.

 

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15 Responses to “Daddy’s Song! or Is it morning al -f-ing-ready?”

  1. Court Says:

    Oh sigh. Part of my worries when I read your stuff b/c it seems so easy with one and so much harder with more than one but then I learn little bits so it makes it worth it (plus it’s fun to read) thanks for the glimpse into the probably not so distant future.

  2. outside voice Says:

    Did you see Desperate Housewives when Bree made her husband go in for a surgery consultation because he snores? I’m just sayin’.

  3. pinnythewu Says:

    Your boys are so funny! I totally agree with you about the alarm clock noise. That noise is banned in my house. Not long ago there was an ad for McDonalds breakfasts that played that horrible MEEP!!MEEP!!MEEP!! all the way through. It made my skin crawl.

  4. C Says:

    I am with outside voice, make him see if he has sleep apnea. My hubby is the same way. When we lived in a 2 story home you could here him from the floor level when he was upstairs. I have gotten so used to hearing it, I almost can’t sleep without it.

  5. Erik Says:

    I’m going to skip over the snoring part and be happily amused how kids notice something, file it away, and then very simply and accurately describe it when there is cause to describe it in their mind. Great story.

  6. faemom Says:

    Court: You can totally do it! Sure, it takes a few months to figure out how to do it, but that was the same way with just one. Remember how you thought you couldn’t do anything dragging around a huge diaper bag and a heavy baby carrier? You’ll get it when the time comes 🙂

    Outside Voice & C: I’ve listened to his snoring it doesn’t sound like sleep apnea, but one never knows. Maybe I wil drag him in. Though my dad did one of those sleep studies, three times, and it was inclonclusive. Bummer for my mom.

    Erik: No kidding. You’ll be amazed what they pick up. I think who taught you that?

    Pennythewu: I hate that stupid noise! God, I hate it! I’m curious; do you happen to have a blog?

  7. outside voice Says:

    Faemom, I was thinking of you last night as my kids started talking about “seeing Christmas” just like you said your kids did! Such a cute way to phrase it.

    And, btw, I was just joking around in my comment above because on Desperate Housewives, the whole thing was funny bc she was getting him back for something and he HAD to go. Long story.

    Anyhoo, it’s amazing what kids absorb when we least expect it, as your great post shows.

  8. faemom Says:

    I’ve been informed. It is now called “Christmas Town.” But only Evan can say it. If I say it, I’m wrong.

    And I knew you were joking. But I always found it funny that my dad snores like a bear and there is nothing they can do . . . well other than wear the mask. And no one should do that. But I will write a post about my husband’s snoring, who insists that “it’s not that bad.” But I have heard that some of his friends have contemplating smothering him in his sleep.

  9. Gibby Says:

    I can’t stand the beeping alarm either (instant bad mood), so we wake up to the radio. My 7-year-old wakes up to beeping (apparently doesn’t bother her) and my 4-year-old was sad because she didn’t have an alarm clock. So my MIL bought her one of those old-fashioned alarm clocks, with the two bells on top. Well, gee, those things work REALLY well, as the second it went off the entire house was up, thinking there was a fire. We don’t let her set that alarm anymore!

  10. faemom Says:

    Oh my god! That would be a noise to rouse the family.

  11. evenshine Says:

    Why is it you always hate the song that plays when you wake up??

  12. faemom Says:

    Because you really would rather be sleeping.

  13. ck Says:

    I used to *heart* my early morning dance with the alarm clock. I could go back and forth with it for at least an hour. Unfortunately my children didn’t come with a snooze feature…

  14. ck Says:

    and I’m sorry…but what the f**k is that icon by my name? It looks like an alien potato…so far this is the only complaint I have with the new WordPress. It puts random images by my name. NOT COOL. Sorry to vent about it here, but I did not want you thinking that I picked this freakin’ thing.

  15. faemom Says:

    You snooze people :-b I wish along with you about children having snoozes. Sigh. Vent away. I’m pissed thatit didn’t color corrdinate that you needed to be approves. What the hell?! And I think we should start a venting blog.


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