That deserves a round of applause

To My Husband: You might not want to read this post as it includes to things you complain about from my blog: you and penises.  I’m sorry you make an easy mark (and I mean that in the nicest way; you’re easy to set up and we love you for it.); it’s one of the reasons my father didn’t kill you when he learned how much older you were than me.  You know my family; we’re jokesters.  As for the penises, I did well enough the other day without mentioning them, so this isn’t about ratings.  By the way, I’m not slowly turning my blog into a hard porn blog; people would noticed. (Brownie points for those who got that last allusion. J )

 

***

 

My husband: (Walking back into the family room from using the restroom) Fae?  Have you noticed Tornado S following me into the bathroom lately?  (Sean toddles into the room.)

 

Me: Why, actually, I have.  (I pick up Tornado S who has run to me.)  Tornado E, get out of the almonds.  If you want a snack, you have to ask.  No almonds.  Mommy needs those.

 

My husband: He’s watching me pee.

 

Me: I figured.  You’re just curious, aren’t you, big guy?  Tee.  He’s learning; I think he’ll train earlier and easier than Tornado E.  (sigh) That would be cool.  Tornado E, I said no almonds.  Or pecans.

 

My husband: He claps when I finish.

 

Both my sons learned at an early age to clap when they did something special like throw the ball, somersault, roll a car, jump, dance, sing, basically anything to be proud of.  From there, it is only a month or so development to clap for other people’s achievements.  At eighteen months, Tornado E clapped enthusiastically when my great-aunt caught a ball he threw to her.  Tornado S, at fourteen months, would clap enthusiastically for Tornado E’s singing attempts.

 

Me: Well, you did a good job.  You never drip.  He’s proud of you.  All right, Tornado E.  No marshmallows.  Come on, Tornado S.  Let’s get you and your brother a snack before your brother climbs in there and gets the suckers.  Too late.

 

Being curious of all developments in the house, I snuck a peek at this performance next time my husband went to the bathroom.  Tornado S toddled in after his Daddy and stood in rapture as his father peed.  Then when my husband was finish, Tornado S, beaming from ear to ear, clapped with excitement.  You’d think that he was at The Bellagio.  Or maybe Tornado S thought his Daddy was being left out of the cheering Tornado E receives when he uses the bathroom.

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7 Responses to “That deserves a round of applause”

  1. C Says:

    ROFL! And I don’t know if I got the allusion regarding the porn blog, but it made me think of something, ha!

  2. Erik Says:

    Awesome. Simply classic. Kids are hysterical.

    I think I empathize with your husband though. I think it would weird me out. I’m not a dad yet though, so maybe I’ll feel differently then.

    Also, your husband should appreciate the applause now. It’ll be much harder to impress them as time goes on.

  3. KathyB! Says:

    Your kids are going to love this blog when they are older! Mine are too old now, and have requested that they only be referenced generally. And stories about genitalia and bathroom usage are strictly off limits 🙂

  4. ck Says:

    See – how unfair is the penis advantage? No dripping? NO FAIR.

  5. mediocreperfectionist Says:

    ROFL… clapping is awesome! The Squirrel Monkey’s dad has a habit of hanging out in the bathroom while visits. (What is it with men and extended bathroom time? I’m an in, speed through business, out kinda girl.) SM stands outside the door calling, “What’cha doing in der, daddy? I check it out?” So, I’ve started opening the door for him. Opps! I say, “He’s gotta learn from somebody.” In my mind I say, “I haven’t been in the bathroom alone for 2 years. Join the fun.”

  6. wild4words Says:

    this made my day! My poor husband is going to “love” it if this happens to him…. Aidan will have a field day with it. I’ve already told my oldest that he needs to teach his little brother to pee… we’ll see if that works… sigh…

  7. faemom Says:

    C~ I know what you’re thinking. The allusion was from The Simpsons. “Fox turne into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn’t even notice.”

    Erik~ Most dads feel a little awkward about it, especially after Evan tried to grab at the pee. I’ll totally tell my husband about your comment on impressing the kids.

    KathyB!~ I guess I should write before I get brought down by the (little) men. It’ll be nice information to embarress them when they have girls over.

    ck~ And they can write with it; they don’t have to sit down; they don’t have to pull their pants down and freeze their asses off; they can pee anywhere. Really, men have all the luck.

    mediocre~ Good job! Men don’t need the privacy. And I still don’t get why they need all that time.

    W4W~ (I’m playing with shortening your name. I think that one looks cool) They’re going to have contests. My brothers did. Who can shoot the farthest, go the longest and such.


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