We are the Champions!

 

Before I had kids, there were MANY things about motherhood I did not believe.  I was sure I wouldn’t have enough patience.  But I found it came from the same bottomless well as my love.  I thought I would have to be addicted to some kind of upper to have the energy I needed to take care of many children, much less one single toddler.  It turned out that youthful energy I channeled to play pranks and stay up all night writing, diverted nicely to parenting.  I knew for a fact pacifiers would never be used in my house.  Evan had it in his mouth two minutes after we left the hospital as I panicked over his crying.  While I would be happy over their victories, I would never be ecstatic, jumping for joy, victory dancing over their victories, much less something so insignificant as pooping in the potty.  I’m just glad my husband has no idea where are video camera is.

 

That’s right.  This weekend Evan pooped in his potty ALL BY HIMSELF. 

 

For months now, after Evan would run to the potty and pee, pull up his pants, wash his hands, he never would attempt pooping.  He demanded a diaper.  The mere suggestion of using the potty would send him into hysterics.  I consulted books, shows, internet resources, and even the blogosphere.  (Thanks again for everyone’s advice on that.)  Eventually I settled for the classic mantra of all toddler habits, “He won’t be doing this when he’s in school.”  While I seriously doubted the mantra, my mother assured me that if he still needed a diaper in first grade, he would just hold it until he was home to ask.  I feared she might just be right, and all I asked from Evan was that he did his business in the bathroom, near the potty, since I couldn’t even get him to sit on the potty with his diaper.

 

But last week after a stomach bug, Evan had a horrible case of the runs that just exploded out of his diaper.  The poor kid was so upset over the mess.  I didn’t blame him.  If I was disgusted looking at it, how would I feel with it on me?  Evan’s answer was to not poop. 

 

After two days, Evan’s body decided to mutiny, and Evan refused a diaper.  All day we kept going back to the potty, sitting, reading, trying to teach him to push.  (Do you know how hard it is to teach someone to push?)  Mid-way through the afternoon, my husband thought enough was enough and got out a diaper.  Evan panicked, refusing the diaper in the same manner as he had once refused the potty.  As dinner rolled around, I began to wonder if there were any laxatives for preschoolers.  Though I knew if Evan would just eat some damn vegetables, we wouldn’t have this problem.

 

As I washed the dinner dishes, Evan came running into the kitchen.  “I WENT POOP IN MY POTTY!”  I ran with him to look, and now I understood why Kate Gosselin (from Jon and Kate Plus 8) took a picture of the first bowel movement of all her kids.  He was excited.  I was excited.  Daddy was excited.  Evan reminded me of all the promises of the day.  The Happy Meal.  The Grandma Candy.  Uncle M was actually on his way for movie night, bringing with him Grandma Candy or otherwise known as Cinnamon Jolly Rangers.  The proud Daddy buckled Evan in to get the Happy Meal with chicken nuggets, instead of the corn beef I had made.  It was a beautiful moment.

 

Later that evening, Evan’s body reminded him that it had been TWO DAYS.  This time Evan wanted a diaper; this time we refused.  I was exiled from the bathroom, but Daddy was allowed to stay.  A few minutes later, Evan rushed out to tell us the good news; while my husband returned to ask what to do with the waste.  I thought it was obvious.  Poor Uncle M was dragged into the bathroom to see Evan’s excellent work.  I squeezed around to see why it was so hard to dump in the toilet.

 

Holy Crap!  How did one tiny body make that much?  One tiny body that doesn’t even eat that much.  Yuck!

 

Now I have to just convince Evan that if he would just eat some fruit and vegetables, pooping wouldn’t be so damn hard.  V is for Victory.  V is for Vegetables.  Now eat them!

 

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12 Responses to “We are the Champions!”

  1. tlc Says:

    Yay Evan!!! I also had Jon and Kate plus 8 picture empathy when my little boy had his first poo poo in the potty. It’s such a momenteous event, isn’t it?

  2. KathyB! Says:

    The poop pushing is a tricky learn, but you made it! Hooray 🙂

    I don’t have an email for you… so to answer your question from my blog… one of my daughters wasn’t feeling well and I was crawling back there to check on her. I did not want to stop that car unless there was a risk of vomit involved, and she’s not a complainer at all so I felt I needed to actually haul my butt through that obstacle course and show some compassion. I was actually kinda proud of myself 🙂

  3. Ink Says:

    Victory is Evan’s! Woohoo!

    Btw, where are YOUR nom badges? They need to go up so we can vote!

  4. Gibby Says:

    YAY!! That is awesome!
    P.S. My ped once suggested graham crackers to soften the poop because my daughter would hold it. It works!

  5. ck Says:

    Poor Uncle M…what a trooper!

    (And congrats on such an exciting event.)

  6. Court Says:

    Yeah! What a victory. Way to go little man (and mom!)

  7. polymerclaysnails Says:

    Wow … I was actually excited to read about a baby going poopy in the potty …
    Yeah … if you would’ve asked me 10yrs ago if taking a crap would be an exciting event, I would’ve thought you were crazy …

    I have the lovely nuns and teachers of my son’s day nursery school to thank for potty training my baby boy cause I virtually didn’t have to do anything …

    Great victory post!

  8. C Says:

    I am sooooooooooo proud of him. And yeah I thought about taking pics of my kids poop and declined that notion. I think that is a tad bit odd. You can memorize that moment, trust me, and your kids would be mortified to see that later, I am sure! Kate Gosselin is a nut case..hehe.

    Now, If I could just get DD3 potty trained I would be on the road to a new step of mommy hood…eww do I really want to go THERE????!!!!

  9. Jenny Says:

    That was the absolute perfect place to say, “Holy crap!”
    Congratulations all around. Here’s to flushing!

  10. faemom Says:

    tlc~ Syrprisingly, yes!
    KathyB!~ I am quite impressed by your contortionist skills; I was just wondering why.
    Ink~ I was going to email you and make a deal about posting those things. Now I just have to go do it. *sigh* More homework.
    Gibby~ I’ll make sure I go get some next time I’m out.
    ck~ You have no idea. Uncle M RUNS out of the room when I change a diaper. He’s usually a real wuss.
    Court~ Thanks
    poly~ Isn’t it funny how motherhood changes us? Remember the victory dance over the first solid food?
    C~ Hehehe. You’re too funny. Don’t push it; she is your baby after all.
    Jenny~ I am amuse myself when it comes to writing. Thank you.

  11. Evenshine Says:

    Go EVAN! And yes…holy crap! Just don’t bronze it like they did with Suri’s poop.

  12. faemom Says:

    Bronzing poop is CRA-AZY! Like I want to have a piece of bronzed poop in my house. Ew!


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