My Best Parenting Advice

I talk the big talk, but really most of my advice is a little weak.  So dear Violinist, you have a week, and I hope you’re more prepared then I was because I was so damn sure I was NOT having that kid today.  And the kid disagreed.  So I figured I sum up my best jewels in one post.

 

 

The Diaper Bag: Have two.  One that you take with you, and an emergency one with wipes, diapers, a blanket, and a change of clothes in the trunk.  You’ll be amazed how many times you’ll need it.  In the bag you carry, never forget zip lock bags, in case you can’t find a trash, and a small tube of diaper cream because it’ll saves asses, yours and hers.  If you do pacifiers, ALWAYS have two.  Always carry toys.

 

Toys: The best toy EVER is a set of measuring spoons.  They’re shiny; they’re loud; they’re cold to put into a teething mouth.  I learned this from my grandma.  They’re also super easy to clean.

 

Chores: In the next few months, you need to sleep when she sleeps.  Enjoy this because it won’t happen again.  Make sure your sweet husband pitches in.  Failing that, “dishes, your new home is now the dishwasher.”  Use the dishwasher like a new cabinet.  It helps.

 

Naps: When you decide not to sleep when she does, don’t turn off the phone or put off vacuuming.  The kid has got to learn to sleep through distractions, or you’re going to have a hard time with naps when she’s a toddler.

 

Colic: Most kids get some form of it.  It’s normal.  Both my boys had it due to gas.  If it’s gas, Mylocon drops and baby reverse crunches.  Every one told me to cut out things from my diet, broccoli, cucumbers, caffeine, chocolate.  When they got to chocolate, I freaked out and called the doctor, who said don’t change your diet because the baby has to learn to deal with those foods eventually.

 

Random Weirdness: Babies do weird things, like turn purple, shit ALL THE TIME, make choking sounds.  If you have a doubt, talk to your pediatrician before you become Dr. Mom.  This will keep you from freaking out and doing something stupid.

 

Stupid: You’re going to do something stupid.  You’re a first time mom, and she’ll survive.  You’re going to have this crazy irrational fear that won’t make any sense to any one but you.  My mom was worried someone was going to microwave me, and I, well, it still seems rational to me, so I don’t know.

 

Phases: Always remember “This too shall pass.”  This applies to those horrible nights of colic and teething because she won’t do it forever.  This applies to those cute sweet moments because she won’t do it forever.

 

 

Well, I think that covers all my advice, but then I’m aiming low and hope to get my boys out of diapers and out of juvy.  So, ladies, does anyone else have anything to add?

 

 

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10 Responses to “My Best Parenting Advice”

  1. C Says:

    Make the daddy change diapers…I didn’t and geezus I have changed a ton of diapers and it just isn’t fair. He also uses a hundred wipes on purpose(for a pee diaper) so I will not make him do it…if this happens don’t stress, he pays for wipes too!! I wish I had thought to say that instead of, “let me do it, I can get it done with one wipe!” and he moved, of course! I am sure I can think of more, this one just stuck out. I wish you luck Violinist!

  2. Lindsey Says:

    My advice would be don’t take everyone’s advice. Which is contradictory, isn’t it? But everyone gives advice, and most of it clashes with other people’s advice, and guess what? Every baby is different, so your baby may not love the magic hold that worked for another baby or being swaddled or being sung to or being in their car seat or having their gums rubbed or who knows what. So learn to trust your baby, learn to trust yourself to take care of them, and just tune out the advice- ’cause you can do this.

  3. Super E Says:

    this is great, thanks

  4. tlc Says:

    Your mom was worried someone would microwave you!? That is the funniest mom phobia I’ve ever heard. Maybe there’s a diagnostic term for it…

  5. Country-Fried Mama Says:

    “This too shall pass” is so important to keep in mind. I still forget that, and my oldest is about to turn three. Every difficult stretch feels like it will last FOREVER, but looking back, they were all pretty short-lived. Except potty-training. Potty-training really has taken forever.

  6. ymK Says:

    Call the pediatrician for whatever stupid reason that’s bothering you. The people at the doc’s office will try their best to make you feel bad for calling at odd hours and/or about small issues, but DON”T. If something does not feel right, call them. Its their job to answer your questions. Don’t feel bad.

  7. ymK Says:

    Call the pediatrician for whatever stupid reason that’s bothering you. The people at the doc’s office will try their best to make you feel bad for calling at odd hours and/or about small issues, but DON”T. If something does not feel right, call them. Its their job to answer your questions. Don’t feel bad.
    P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!

  8. insider53 Says:

    Yes remember to breathe…when things get chaotic and you feel your head will explode….breathe…. unless of course a blue face is your color and the smoke coming out of your ears doesn’t bother you.

  9. faemom Says:

    C~ You’re so right. If you don’t make your husband change diapers, he won’t do it.
    Lindsey~ That is awesome advice! You’re so right.
    Super E~ Thanks
    tlc~ Since their doctor had to forbid them from taking a week old baby on vacation, my parents used that money to buy a nice microwave. My mom would wake up with nightmares that someone had taken me and put me in the microwave. She laughs at it now.
    CFM~ That phrase totally helps with most phases. I hope one day to feel like potty training took a blink of an eye.
    ymK~ Totally. Though there are doctors that are totally cool with you calling all the time. My OB-GYN was totally cool and told me to bring Sean in when I didn’t think his circ looked right. It was, but the doctor checked it out and gave me a hug, telling me everything would be fine.
    insider53~ Great advice! God only knows how many times I had that face.

  10. Jenny Says:

    Oh, I like the backup diaper bag idea. I’m a mom twice over, and yet I still really suck when it comes to going out of the house prepared. With my first, I didn’t even HAVE a diaper bag.

    My best advice is to be truly open to other people’s advice but never a slave to it.


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