As I walked down the hall, pass the bathroom, I noticed Evan was hiding behind the toilet. Well, that’s odd.
Me: What are you doing?
Right. And I’m the Queen of England.
You said nothing just right with the “ing” a couple octaves higher “noth.” As though just plain “nothing” wasn’t enough to give away your secret plot.
So I stopped and scrutinized the situation, spotting the toothbrush and the toothpaste.
Me: What’s in your hand?
Let me give you a few pointers. Never say nothing. It gives you away. You might as well say, “Hey, Mommy, I’m lying to you.
Me: Let me see your hand.
Evan: I don’t have anything.
Obviously you have something in your hand. Ditch it. Quickly. Soundlessly. Or begin making up a lie to cover why you are about you suck toothpaste out of the tube.
Me: Let me see it.
While silence may look better than saying a lie, it also gives you away, especially if you pause before you state your lie. Don’t worry, many people have this tale.
Me: Evan, give me the toothpaste.
Evan: But Mommy, I was going to brush my teeth.
Now that was a great lie, but it was too late. I already know you’re up to no good. It’s best to confess and throw yourself on the mercy of the court.
Me: Evan. Hand me the toothpaste. You brushed your teeth already.
Good job. You realized by the tone you better just hand over the toothpaste. But since you lied, it’s time out for you, and it’s extra time for lying because I need to trust you just like you have to trust me.
Oh, and kid, you have another tale, but I’m not fool enough to tell you.