An Urban Myth with Facts

The husband walked in the room and said Up started at 10:45.  It was already 10:15, with the house still destroyed by the boys, no shoes, and a shirtless Evan.  With the precision of the military, the toys were put away, the boys shoed, the husband dressed.  Of course, the husband failed to remember that we were no longer two adults that speed to catch a flick, dash across a parking lot, pay, buy snacks as the other grabs just two seats.  Now we herd the boys towards the car like dragging them to bed, only with more enthusiasm.  We buckle the boys in and are sent to grab that one thing they just can’t live without.  I pay very close attention to those traffic laws now that I carry precious cargo.  We unbuckle the boys.  We doddle through the parking lot.  It takes several times for the husband to hear my suggestion of the debit machine, rather than wait in line with two boys, waiting to bolt.  While the husband still gets snacks, I herd the boys to the bathroom instead of the seats.

After I convinced Evan that the toilet will not flush on him nor suck him down into the toilet with its mighty flush, Evan peed.  I reminded him not to play with the stream.

“Why?”

Because I don’t want you to leak.

“Why?”

Because I don’t want to clean it up.

“Why?”

Because we’ll be late for the movie.  Pull up your pants. 

Hey, guess what.  We’re in the why-phase, and more on that on another post.

So I used the restroom.  While I hurried, flushing the toilet as I pulled out of my shorts, my keys fell into the flushing toilet.  For a half second, I stood there because there’s no way my heavy key set with its four keys, pocket knife, car clicker, and a half dozen club cards would go down the drain.  I reached in just in case.

My keys were shoved through the drain, just as my fingers scraped against them.  They were gone.  The water was gone.  The toilet filled to normal level.  My mouth hung open.

ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME?

CCRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPP!

Boys, come one.  We got to go.  We got to wash our hands and find someone.  I think they’re gone anymore.  Quickly.  Hurry.  Come on.  Let’ s go!

But it was too late.  They were gone, washed away done the sewer.  Damn.

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9 Responses to “An Urban Myth with Facts”

  1. insider53 Says:

    That really sucks. I can only imagine the inconvenience of having to replace them. Damm is right.

  2. joz1234 Says:

    oh, that just sucks!

  3. Old Mum Says:

    How awful for you and what an incredible bother to replace all those items. I once dropped my keys into a toilet just as it flushed but managed to grab the keys out in time…broke two fingers during the plunge, but minor detail.

  4. faemom Says:

    insider~ I’m still in a state of shock.
    joz~ It totally does.
    Old Mum~ I’m quite impressed. I would have taken two broken fingers just to get my keys.

  5. ck Says:

    oh maaaaaan. and to think, you put your hand down a public toilet for nothing. at least it wasn’t the toilet at CVS…

  6. faemom Says:

    It was a surprisingly clean tiolet.

  7. Gibby Says:

    Oh. My. God.
    I would have cried. Cried about losing the keys and having to stick my hand in a public toilet.

    Did you end up seeing the movie? 🙂

  8. faemom Says:

    Gibby, at least it was already fresh, clean water. Yes. I figured we had already bought the tickets, might as well see the movie.

  9. Rehashing. Over and over. « Faemom Says:

    […] An Urban Myth with Facts […]


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