The Why Phase

I was so excited about the Why Phase.  Honestly, how much fun would that be?  I’m a fountain of useless knowledge.  I love learning useless knowledge.  I love learning period.  In high school drama, the award I was given was The Most Likely To Know Everything (Or She’ll Find it Out).  In college, I had a roommate that loved to torture me with random years, asking me what happened in that year.  I would go ballistic racking my brain, pulling out facts, until I turned on the computer and listed rulers, wars, and all kinds of facts.

Every parenting book talked about how important the Why Phase was, how it was a sign of intelligence and inquisitiveness.  I worried as Tornado E out grew the months it was suppose to be in.  I wondered if my son actually cared to learn about the world around him.  I wondered if I was raising a day laborer, fast food restaurant cashier or a politician.  I waited and prepared.  I was well prepared for questions like:

Why’s the sky blue?

Why’s the grass green?

Why’s that an “E”?

Why is Papi bald?

Why do we go to church?

Why does Daddy make Daddy noise when he sleeps?

When the Why Phase started, did I get any of those questions?  No.  I got questions like these:

Why do I have to go to bed?

Why am I tired?

Why are you tired?

Why am I whiney?

Why is my bed so high?

Why did you do that?

Why can’t I have candy in my bed?

Why am I hungry for candy right now?

Why can’t I have juice?

Why will it leak?

Why do I have to have water?

Why is Tornado S trying to sleep?

Why can’t I sleep in Tornado S’s bed?

Why will he wake up?

Why can’t I sleep with you?

Why do I have to sleep in my own bed?

Why do I have to go to bed?

Why can’t I stay up?

Why am I tired?

Why do I have to put my underwear on?

Yeah, it’s not cute and inquisitive.  It’s not a sign that my kid is smart, trying to figure out the logic of the world.  It’s not a sign of intelligence.  It’s a sign of hidden rebellion.  It’s a sign of anarchy.  It’s a sign that my kid wants the rules to bend to his understanding.  He’s trying to be subversive.  He’s trying to break down the penis rules through his interpretation of logic.

Why do I have to wipe my bottom?

Why will I get diaper rash?

Why will it hurt?

Why do I have to wear underwear?

Why can’t I go naked?

Why do I have to wear clothes in the car?

Why do I have to wear clothes at Grandma’s and Papi’s house?

Why can’t I play with my penis here?

Why can’t I play with my penis in your room?

Does Daddy play with his penis in your room?

Why are you quiet?

Why didn’t you say anything?

Mommy!  Did you hear me?

Why do I have to put my underwear on?

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14 Responses to “The Why Phase”

  1. parenting BY dummies Says:

    Ahhh… the why phase. My favorites: Why are you fat? Why are you wearing pink pants? Why can’t I eat candy right after breakfast? Why can’t I have bubble gum in my bed? Why do you drive like that? Daddy doesn’t drive like that, and he says you drive like a crazy lady. Here’s a question, why don’t you and Daddy mind your own business and step off?! Nice post.

  2. The Mommy Says:

    I worry about the penis phase.

  3. CynthiaK Says:

    OMG, I howled at that post. Love it. Why, why, why?

    And, isn’t life all about penises? I mean, really?

    BTW, I’ll send you the “original un-posted post” from yesterday’s Crumbs if you give me your email address. You’ll laugh. Keep that mind in the gutter. 🙂

  4. insider53 Says:

    Why are you so funny.
    Why do you make me laugh.
    Why do I have to post a comment.
    Why do I keep coming back.
    Why do I keep asking why.
    Why Why Why Why Why………. penis rules, ha ha ha

  5. faemom Says:

    pBd~ Why can’t they just be quiet?
    The Mommy~ Keep your sense of humor handy, and you’ll do just fine during the penis phase.
    CynthiaK~ It sure seems like life is all about penises. Can’t wait for the “original un-posted pot.”
    insider~ Why? Why? Why? I wish I knew.

  6. delilah Says:

    Oh, I bemoan this fact every day. Ask me why dogs bark, not why this is a road. And when she gets in the loop, not even listening, just responding to each “why?” with another why– I want to rip my hair out and throw it at her, and say, “THAT’S WHY, BECAUSE MOMMY IS INSANE!!”

  7. incognitomom Says:

    Too funny! We’re still waiting for the “Why” phase but I remember when my nephew was in the “why phase” and it seems endless. My son is going through the “what” phase.

    And,um, how exactly did you handle the one about daddy and his penis? 😉

  8. faemom Says:

    Go ask your father. 😉

  9. naptimewriting Says:

    Oh my god, you and delilah have it right on. This week’s hair rippers include:
    Why does everybody look around? Why does my friend want to go to the playground? Why will we go to one that’s close not one that’s far away? Why is this one ocean? Why am I sad?
    I’ve started using either “you tell me” or “I don’t understand the question.” And for the first time ever, broke out, painfully, “Because I said so.” Felt good. Until “why?”

  10. faemom Says:

    Delilah~ I completely missed your comment. Forgive me. Don’t you wish you can just go “why” back?
    naptime~ Isn’t it scary when that first “because I said so” pops out? I was like crap, I sound like my Mommy. Where’s that chocolate again?

  11. Zeemaid Says:

    *LOL* that was seriously funny and all too sadly true…

    That was perfect. I guess I know what to expect from my son. *L*

  12. faemom Says:

    I know. I hope your son isn’t so obsessed with penises like my boy.

  13. Flash Gordon Says:

    The smart why questions are fun, but they are kind of hard too. “Why are there waves?” “Why are there tectonic plates?” Maybe my science background handicaps me from answering simply, but it took Isaac Newton a leap of brilliance to figure out the answers to these things.

  14. teachesol Says:

    I realize I’m a little late for this post, but my 2 year old has just started this phase. It’s still funny to me right now though cause its only been a week:) lol at the penis questions! Glad I accidentally googled upon your blog.


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