I’ve come up with my parenting motto. I feel like a geek with making up a saying for being a parent, but I found the words to define the kind of parent I want to be. They just popped in my head while I took a shower.
To love unconditionally.
To always be right there in their corner.
To always get their back.
To separate them from the stupid things they are bound to do.
To love unconditionally. It is a no brainer. Loving unconditionally is what we should do as parents. The rest of the motto defines how I plan to love unconditionally.
To always be right there in their corner. This means a little more than what most people assume. While I have known people that have been upset that I didn’t “get their back” and I wasn’t “in their corner,” this phrase doesn’t mean supporting some one right or wrong, no matter what. It’s a boxing term. Who is in the boxer’s corner? His trainer, his manager, his coach. These people train and teach. Of course, they encourage, but they also instruct, critique, even fight the boxer to keep the boxer safe by throwing in the towel. Being in someone’s corner means not only being there for the person but willing to call that person out on the crap that s/he is doing. That’s the job of a parent.
To always get their back. Again this doesn’t mean defend someone right or wrong. It is to defend a person from cheap shots, from people who fight dirty. It means to try and protect someone where they are most vulnerable. As parents, we are protectors.
To separate them from the stupid things they are bound to do. We all do stupid things. We just usually do them in our youth. But those stupid things are not us. They are what we did. No matter what our kids do, we know that they are who they are, not what they did or will do.