Project Womb: The Hope for Pink Booties

I would like to jinx myself in a public forum.  I’m announcing we’re going to go for another baby because I’ve just got this burning, crazy desire, and we’re hoping it’ll be a girl.  It’s not like I wouldn’t absolutely love another boy, but it would be awfully nice to have a girl in the mix.  With every added penis to the household, I become more girly to contradict the incoming waves of testosterone.  Soon I won’t be able to open a jelly jar.  This is all the research I’ve been doing to try and up the chances of a baby girl.

 

First we’ve ruled out help from science.  It just doesn’t sit right with me.  It’s like I’m pushing us towards Gattaca.  And that ain’t right.

I’ve also ruled out the Chinese birth calendar.  It worked for Evan.  It did not work for Sean.

I’m ruling out times for conceiving in the month.  One, it’s pretty complicated, mathy stuff, and I just don’t do mathy.  I also don’t count very well.  Actually I was sure I couldn’t conceive when we happened to make Sean.  Oops.  We were just beginning to talk about it.  I’m one of those you-know-we-should-have-a-oops-I’m-pregnant kind of girls.  I probably won’t have time to synchronize our watches, much less our calendars.

 

This leaves me with the most interesting of advice.

I’m changing my diet in hopes to make my womb less hospitable for Y sperm.  I’m to eat lots of diary (check), vegetables (check), fish (does sushi or fried count?), and a piece of chocolate (check, check, and check).  I’m to stay away from caffeine.  Yeah, I laughed too since I need that caffeine.  (What am I going to do when that test becomes positive.)  Supposedly this will make my womb more acidic, killing off the weaker but faster Y sperm.  Fun fact: Did you know women actually produce a type of spermicide?

We’re changing positions.  The advice for girls suggests missionary or woman-on-top positions in hopes that the Y sperm will tire out before the egg as the X sperm go for the gold as long distance swimmers.  Since I know for a fact that Evan and Sean were conceived missionary, we’ll have to go for the other one.

There’s also talk about the time of day having an effect, which I find laughable, but heck, I’ll try it.  Since I know what time of day the boys were conceived, I wonder if my parents will watch them for an afternoon or two every month.

My favorite: When making love, keep a frying pan under the bed.  It’s an old wives tale, but I won’t rule out anything.

The husband’s favorite: They suggest that when trying to conceive a girl to have the woman not orgasm.  The husband’s first reaction was for my well-being, which is touching, but since I’m willing to sleep with a frying pan under my bed, I think I can go without a few Os for the sake of a girl.  He was still chuckling for a day or two when I pointed out how many people we know who have daughters.  A whole round of laughter commenced for another few days.  When I mentioned it to my mom, she pointed out that she had a girl first, which showed my father’s improvement.  Then I tried to scrub my brain clean of that conversation.  That obviously did not work.

Now that you know too much about my sex life, you can laugh with me when that sonogram shows a little penis.

Don’t worry.  I can handle three boys.  It’s four that I can’t handle.

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8 Responses to “Project Womb: The Hope for Pink Booties”

  1. Jen@momalom Says:

    Yay! Another to welcome to the mom-of-three club! I’m hoping girl girl girl. But, you know, Sarah will be able to give you lots of thoughts about having three boys. Also, I am impressed that you know so much about when your boys were conceived! I can only answer those questions when it comes to our first. After that, EVERYTHING is blurry.

  2. insider53 Says:

    Fae first let me say congratulations. Bad news though my first 3 were girls and my fourth was the boy. Had the big O with all of them, so doing without doesn’t work….. but keep using the frying pan it couldn’t hurt and if you get hungry you can make some eggs smothered in chocolate. Good luck you guys.

  3. Evenshine Says:

    I’m still stuck on Chinese calendars as somehow being informative when determining something that is absolutely undeterminable by mere wishing. Or frying pans.
    If you’re really that determined to have a girl, you may want to look into adoption!
    Good luck, though I hope it will be fabulous no matter which you end up with!

  4. ck Says:

    Hate to break it to you, but I also had Os while conceiving both of my girls.

    I have a friend who went the “mathy” route. She read a book about what point of ovulation you’d be most likely to conceive a boy/girl. She wanted two boys and got two boys.

  5. faemom Says:

    Jen~ The only reason I know so much about the conception of my boys is because it only took once, each time.
    insider~ HA! Well, I figured it was silly, but at least I can always make eggs dripping with chocolate.
    Evenshine~ I never got the calenders either. I looked at them after the fact. I think this illustrates how much people (I mean me) hate feeling powerless and out of control, hating chance. Don’t worry. I’ll love another boy just as much as a girl.
    ck~ At least I won’t have to suffer. Impressive on the mathy. I keep finding contridictory articles on which days to use, and that I’m not quite a 28-day every month girl. But I’ll look into it.

  6. The Violinist Says:

    if not, you can move back here and live vicariously through my girl 🙂 but i do have my fingers crossed for you!

  7. faemom Says:

    Ah, thanks. I could keep repeating what Rini says, “I really need to come down there and meet her.” But you already know that.

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