This Saturday my brother is strapping on the ball and chain and repeating sacred words outside in 40% chance thunderstorms at a place that he is paying too much to be at. (Lady K, if you read this, I’m not judging; I was just more laid back and uncaring about my wedding.) Where is this blessed event taking place? I’m glad you asked. It’s in New Hampshire. It’s a four hour plane ride, which starts at 11am, stays in Dallas two hours, and then gets us into Boston at 9:30 pm. Then we have an hour and a half drive to our hotel. I’m going on the record to say The Husband is responsible for the flight arrangements, or really his admin assistant is.
The admin assistant is also responsible for the seating arrangements as well. The first leg will be The Husband and Tornado E and Tornado S and me. From then on it will be the boys and I; while, The Husband will be a row in front or behind or two rows away. I wonder how much it would cost for me to upgrade.
Not that I’m worried. I used to fly with Tornado E all the time before Tornado S was born. I’ve got a portable DVD player, DVDs, and earphones. I have books, coloring books, sketch pads, crayons, pencils, food, toys, prizes. Yup, I’m one prepared Mama. Woe to the flight attendant that tries to separate my bag from me. So if you here about a plane doing an emergency landing because of a mom beating the crap out of a flight attendant, that’ll be me. I’ll totally do a shout out when I’m interviewed on the morning news.
“Well, Diane, I had everything I needed to keep my boys occupied when the flight attendant told me she would stash it to the rear of the plane. I was reading a couple of my favorite blogs at the time like Bad Mommy Moments, Lost in Suburban Bliss, Inktopia, Parenting by Dummies when the flight attendant took it when I told her no, thank you. I had to stop reading The World According to Me to tell the woman my kids will tear this plane up if you don’t give me that bag. “
Hmm, I have a REALLY LONG favorite blog list. Maybe I’ll just repeat my blog roll.
Apparently I can also take as much juice, water, and milk with me because I’m taking a toddler. Or at least, that’s what the FTA website says. I wonder if they’re going to be real hardasses like they are at the OC airport or the Maui airport. (Maui, four security checks; like anyone flying out of Maui wants to die.) So if you here about a mom arrested in Boston or Tucson airport for security reasons, that’ll be me.
“Well, Chris, I told the security officer that I was allowed to bring juice. I showed him the guidelines that I printed out from the FTA website (not to self, totally print out those guidelines). Then I told them that there was no way it was anything explosive because it would have eaten through the cardboard. I should have been more polite, but I was trying to get through so I could read Mothering, Not Drowning, Naptime Writing, Unruly Helpmeet, and The Momoplex before I got on the plane. In hindsight I wouldn’t have screamed ‘Do you really think if I wanted to bomb a plane I would do it with my own kids on it especially since I have medic-crap I forgot to take it today.’”
I really have to work on my shout outs.
Because we’re lugging two car seats, two boys, a huge diaper bag, a wimpy umbrella stroller, a backpack Tornado E’s suppose to carry, two monkey leashes, I figured I should leave the laptop behind, since The Husband is bringing his. Unfortunately, he’ll be working on his when I would normally be blogging. I have my Blackberry Storm, which I will use to read you all, but I probably won’t be able to comment unless I drug his tea with sleeping pills. Just think of me as a guardian angel watching you or maybe more like one of the fifty readers who never comments. Since I’m totally anal about my responsibilities (or I just can’t bare to see my stats drop), I plan on scheduling posts. My problem is I’ll miss you all. I’ll miss you so much I’m debating on taking up Twitter just to hear you all talk. My bff is begging me not to go to the dark side.
Now I’m off to read before I have to pack and clean and run and get the Lunchables I left in my parents’ fridge. If you have any advice, please leave it. I’m totally planning on checking my blog Just One Last Time before we leave for the airport tomorrow.