1) Kids four and under can handle three hours on a plane. The last half hour makes the mother want to jump out.
2) Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Maine, you all need to pay for better street paint. When it’s dark and rainy, it would be super nice to be able to see the street lanes.
3) You all need to invest in street signs. Especially Boston. Not helpful for tourists.
4) Tolls suck. Do you know how much money we paid to just do u-turns?
5) I’m willing to pay twenty dollars more a day to have maid service.
6) “Take the second exit at Broadway” is not a helpful direction. Left, right, or straight are directions.
7) “Continue on Route 1” when you are starting at a parking lot on Route 1 is not a helpful direction. Again, we need a left or right.
8) Frustrated, tired husband, who is driving, ranting at tired, frustrated wife, who can’t find where they are on the map, makes the wife wonder about quickly divorces.
9) Delusional tired husband ranting at freeway system makes delusional tired wife laugh hysterically.
10) GPS can save you or destroy you.
11) When lost, GPS sounds like a bitch.
12) GPS does not know all.
13) My mother is an obsessive caller.
14) The family wit came from my father.
15) Black shirt or black tux = ring protecting ninja.
16) Always include all children of a family in an event. Do not leave any child out of that family. The child will join event unasked.
17) Never ask sister-in-law or brother where to eat because they like crowded, trendy places that are not suitable for children or tourists that would like to do something other than sit at a table waiting for breakfast.
18) Tearing apart lobsters is harder than watching it done.
19) Newly big-potty-trained child will always need to poop when you don’t have the little seat to use.
20) It’s easier to hold a pooping child if you are sitting on the floor.
21) Always buy two of everything when you have two children.
22) Traveling with children is more tiring than traveling alone.
23) Security guards in Boston like to start sh*t.
24) Tired, frustrated mother is more the willing to return sh*t.
25) Telling your mom on your cell phone as you’re waiting to board the plane that your kids have vomited and diarrheaed all morning does not make fellow passengers easy.
More details in the days to come.