This is just a phase

He’s testing me.  He wants to see if I really mean what I say.  He wants to see how far he can take this.  He wants to see what this button does to mommy.  It’s not yet 8:00 in the morning.

It’s Tornado S.  He’s two.

Damn.

His eyes lit with daemonic delight when Tornado E showed us his tower of every single Lego built up.  It was taller than Tornado E.  I grabbed Tornado S, trying to make him play another game with him, trying to distract him.  But the moment I let go, TornadoS was running.  I yelled, “NO” in The Voice.

Tornado S knocked over the tower.

I demanded an apology.

Tornado S said, “no” with a smile on his face.

Time Out!

Tornado S cried for two minutes straight.

When time out was up, I asked Tornado S if he knew what he did wrong.  He shook his head, and I explained that I told him no and that he didn’t listen.  I told him to apologize to Tornado E. Tornado S walked toward Tornado E, turned to me, laughed and said, “NO!”

Time Out!

Sonofabitch!

Halfway through time out, The Husband broke ranks and talked Tornado S into apologizing.  He agreed, but I told them time out was mean to be served out.  The Husband snapped about how he wouldn’t be able to work under these conditions as Tornado S resumed his very loud crying.

At two minutes, with the office door firmly shut, I went over the time out procedures again. This time Tornado S apologized.

Ten minutes later, Tornado S knocked Tornado E with a plastic train.  He also refused to apologize.  Time Out AGAIN.  That loud annoying crying again.  I thought I might have to kill someone.  I eyed the usually happy and cute two-year-old.

After two minutes, I repeated the usual time out ending. Tornado S laughed instead of apologizing.  TIME OUT AGAIN!  Two minutes of the crying ensued.  I swear I’m going to kill that kid.  Then I remembered how Tornado E pushed my resolve for a full day, and he was younger.  I can do this.

At the end of two minutes, Tornado S was willing to apologize.  We moved on.

To bath time, which was great for five minutes.  Until Tornado S was upset Tornado E was on his side, and then he hit Tornado E with a pirate.  Are you kidding me?!  Wash hair, get soap in their eyes, rinse them, dry them, wrangle them into clothes.  Mommy is ready to play.  Bring it on.

Oh, crap.  But today is Monday, which is grocery shopping day, which means I have to bring the little monsters into public.  Sonofabitch.

Let’s just say I reassured the cashier, a mother of an eighteen-month-old, that everything is a phase.  Then I plopped down three king-sized candy bars with my groceries.

This is just a phase.  This is just a phase.  This is just a phase.

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13 Responses to “This is just a phase”

  1. Coco Says:

    I am SO feeling your pain right now!

  2. Ink Says:

    Sometimes I think the timeouts are much harder on the parents than on the children. And I’m speaking from personal experience, too. Sigh.

    Good mantra. Also: This too shall pass…

  3. joz1234 Says:

    My boys are opposite yours right now. It’s the 4 year old whose constantly in timeout…the 2 year old is more submissive…For now. If they both revolt, can I send them your way?

  4. Kay Says:

    How about just giving YOURSELF a time out? I’d need one after a day like that 🙂

  5. Jen@momalom Says:

    They push and push and push. And just when you’re ready to trade them in or consult a professional behavior therapist. they wake up on the other side of the phase. I hope the end is near for you (and that you didn’t share the candy bars with them. You deserve them all!)

  6. Court Says:

    I hope it’s just a phase because I’m right there with you. She threw a raging hissy fit in the middle of the library the other day just because she could.

  7. insider53 Says:

    Yikes! It is a time when we cry and pull our hair out on a daily basis exclaiming why! The hair will grow back. Our nerves will recover(after much alcohol) but our foot will never be the same after kicking our husband’s butt for giving in to the terrible two’s.

  8. KathyB! Says:

    Oh man… these are the times when I DON”T long for another child. Look at it as birth control. Otherwise, people like you and I would have 18 kids 🙂

  9. faemom Says:

    Coco~ Solidarity, sister.
    Ink~ This too shall pass. This too shall pass.
    joz~ You’re asking me on the wrong day. Ask me in two weeks.
    Kay~ That is an excellent idea!
    Jen~ Oh, I know. Just when I’m ready to leave them at someone else’s door, they become sweethearts.
    Court~ Oh, lord. I’ve been there. Nothing like being hugely pregnant and dragging a child in the midst of a temper tantrum.
    insider53~ LOL I couldn’t agree with you more.
    KathyB!~ No kidding!

  10. Gibby Says:

    I love how the 3 chocolate bars at the end of this post show up in the next one. Hilarious!

  11. faemom Says:

    I do my best to amuse and entertain.

  12. ck Says:

    “Just a phase” that I’m heading into also. My second one loves to hit and refuses to apologize. We’ve gone through the exact repetition of time-outs until she apologizes or falls asleep. And I keep a supply of swiss cake rolls in the freezer because seriously, I think a chocolate high is the only thing that keeps me from locking myself in the car some days.

  13. faemom Says:

    Locking yourself in the car?! That’s brilliant!


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