I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe it. How could we have gotten pregnant this month? We did it one time, and I was so sure it was after the ovulation. It was- Crap, The Husband is going to be so upset. If I’m pregnant now, then the baby will be due in- Oh, Tornado E won’t even be two yet. Not even near potty trained. Maybe he’ll be sleeping through the night by then. Ha.
I walked down the stairs to find The Husband and Tornado E playing with blocks.
The Husband: Well?
The Husband jumped up and kissed me.
The Husband: Wait here!
He ran out of the room. He came back with his hands behind his back.
The Husband: I had a feeling you were, so I got you this.
He pulled out a jewelry box. Opening it, I found a necklace with a six sapphires circling a diamond, making the shape of a flower. The Husband beamed.
The Husband: It’s real. Not fake.
I rolled my eyes. Like I cared.
Me: Thank you. It’s just hard to imagine we’re pregnant already.
The Husband: You know me and my super sperm.
I rolled my eyes again.
The Husband: So when did it happen?
Me: At my parents’ house.
The Husband: (all smirk off his face) WHAT?! Your mom is going to figure that out, and your dad is going to KILL me.
Me: We’re married, you know.
The Husband: If they figure it out, you have to tell them the truth. You have to tell them it was all your idea. I had nothing to do with it.
Me: You had a little to do with it.
The Husband: It was all your idea.
Me: Yes, it was.
The Husband: (handing me the phone) You should call your mom.
Me: Thank you. Should I tell her it was all my idea.
The Husband: Not until she asks.
My Dad: Hello?
Me: Hi, Dad! How are you?
My Dad: Pretty good. How are you?
Me: I’m fine.
My Dad: Just fine?
Me: It’s been a rough morning. Hey. Is Mom there?
My Dad: No, she’s out with a friend.
Me: WHAT? Again!
My Dad: What did you need, sweetheart?
Me: Nothin’. I’m just pregnant again.
My Dad: So soon?
From the back ground, The Friendly Giant: What? Is she knocked up again?
Me: Tell him I prefer the term preggers.
My Dad: (aside) Your sister is a little annoyed with you. So congratulations.
Me: You starting on the right foot this time, Dad?
My Dad: I don’t want your mom to yell at me again.
My Dad: So I’ll have her call you when she gets in.
Me: You don’t want to tell her?
My Dad: Good Lord, no.
Me: Ok, Dad. I love you.
My Dad: I love you too. Bye.
An hour later the phone rang.
My Mom: Your dad said you had to talk to me. What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing. I’m pregnant.
My Mom: That’s great! That’s wonderful. How did The Husband take it?
Me: He’s fine. I’m sure by the end of the day every one will know. He’s on the phone now.
My Mom: No waiting to tell this time?
Me: Nope. Wild horses couldn’t keep that man’s mouth shut. But I got to go Mom. I got to get Tornado E fed and into bed.
My Mom: I’m so happy for you. Call me later. I love you.
Me: I love you too. Bye, Mom.
My Mom: Bye.
Fifteen minutes later the phone rings.
The Friendly Giant: Hey, Fae. Mom says I have to apologize to you.
Me: For what?
The Friendly Giant: I’m sorry for saying you were knocked up. It’s not a nice term to call someone when they’re pregnant.
Me: Um, thanks? I wasn’t offended.
The Friendly Giant: I know. But Mom was. I got to go. Congrats, Fae.
Me: Thanks. Bye.
The Friendly Giant: Bye.
Just so you know. The call to the doctor’s that next Monday.
Front Office: Doctor’s Office.
Me: Hi. I just got a positive on a pregnancy test so I need to schedule an appointment.
Front Office: No problem. Name?
Me: Fae Mom.
Front Office: When was the first day of your last period?
Me: Um, Uh, I think it was date. (Forgive me because I still can’t remember.)
Front Office: Fae, you always wait so long to call!
What? I have long cycles!