The Final News

BFF: Hey!

Me: I have to tell you something.

BFF: (noisy restaurant in the back ground) What?

Me: I’m pregnant!

BFF: I knew it!  I knew it when you called.  I’m having breakfast with a friend, and I almost let it go to voice mail.  But then I thought I bet she’s pregnant.  Last month was a crazy fluke.  But this month she’s totally pregnant.

Me: Yup.  So you coming down for the birth?

BFF: You bet I am.  I get to be in the room this time, right?

Me: Sure.

BFF: So have you told The Husband?

Me: No, he’s still in California.  He won’t be back until Monday night.  I think I should totally do something with this. This we’ll be my last time.  I’m keeping the pregnancy test hidden, so that I can prank him in a year or two.

BFF: HA!  There’s hope for the marriage when you’re planning pranks down the road.

Me: Hey!  It can always work on a boyfriend.  Wanna borrow it?

BFF: (I can almost hear her roll her eyes) Whatever.  So what are you planning?

Me: That’s why I’m calling.


We discarded several plans.  I really wanted to do a meal of baby carrots, baby spinach, baby burgers, and baby cupcakes, but the BFF felt The Husband wouldn’t pick it up.  She’s probably right.  We thought of filling one of his dresser drawers with diapers, but then he keeps most of his clothes in a pile near his side of the bed.  We decided on my original plan, having Tornado S tell him.

Tuesday morning as The Husband slept, I wrote on one of Tornado S’s diapers.  “I’m going to be a big brother.”  I placed the diaper on Tornado S and waited.

An hour later, The Husband was playing with the boys, and I was getting us ready to move out and go grocery shopping.

Me: The Husband, can you change Tornado S’s diaper; while, I get Tornado E’s shoes on him.

I handed him the clean diaper.

The Husband: Sure, no problem.

I walked out of the room, peeking around the corner.  The Husband pulled off Tornado S’s shorts.  He pulled off the diaper.  He wiped Tornado S up.  He put on a new diaper on Tornado S.  He rolled up the old diaper and threw it away.  My jaw dropped.  Crap.

BFF: Hello?

Me: We need a plan B.

BFF: You’re whispering.

Me: I’m trying not to give myself away.  Here let me close the office door.  We need a plan B.

BFF: What?  He didn’t notice?

Me: Nope.  He changed the diaper and rolled up and threw it away.

BFF: (laughing) That’s great!

Me: What’s next?  A shirt?

BFF: No.  Do a sticker.  Then the shirt.  We’ll get bigger and bigger until he notices.

Me: What’s last? Dancing hippos with it written on them?

BFF: Perhaps.

Me: At least this will make a great post.

BFF: (laughing) It sure will!

I borrowed some giant nametag stickers from my mom under the pretense the boys would make stickers.  During naptime, I wrote “I’m going to be a big brother” on one of the nametags.  When the boys got up, I stuck on Tornado S as I gave them nametags and stamps.  I went to work on the t-shirt, just in case.

Ten minutes later, The Husband came out of the office to take a break.

The Husband: What are you doing, boys?

Tornado E: Making stickers.

The Husband’s eyes were glued to Tornado S’s chest.

The Husband: (Saying it quietly, almost under his breath) I’m going to be a big brother.  (pause)  (He looked at me; his eyes widening.)  You ARE?

Me: (nod) Yup.

The Husband crossed the kitchen and gave me a hug and kiss.

The Husband: That’s great!  Should we celebrate?

Me: We’re expected at my parents’ house tonight.

The Husband: Do they know?

Me: No.  I waited to tell you.

The Husband: I had no idea this all happened this morning.  I was pretty out of- Wait.  How long have you known?

Me: Since Saturday.

The Husband: And you didn’t tell me?  This is the way you told me?  That’s not nice.

Me: What?  I thought it was cute.

The Husband: Well, at least, I got to know first.  So how are we going to tell your parents?

Me: I made a shirt.  In case plan B fell.

The Husband: Plan B?

Me: Yup.  You didn’t notice it was written on the diaper.

The Husband: What?!

We went over to my parents’ house with the plan that after we went swimming, we would put Tornado S’s new shirt on him.  Only Tornado S didn’t want to go swimming.  So I forced the shirt off and placed the new one on.  Tornado S wiggled free and went out back to play with Papi, Daddy, and Tornado E.

When Tornado S finally came back in, I was helping with dinner.  My mom turned around and asked Tornado S to give her a hug.  Instead he hugged Grandma-Great, and then he yelled “MAMA!”  My mom swooped him up before he could finish his run towards me.

My Mom: Let me see your shirt!  ‘I’m going to be a big brother.’  Oh, Fae!  That’s wonderful!

With Tornado S still in her arms, she hugged me.

My dad: I was wondering why he had a shirt change.  He came out, and I thought, “Boy, what did you spill on yourself now.”  Congratulations, baby.

Me: Thanks, Dad.  No one say anything to anyone until I’ve got morning sickness.

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17 Responses to “The Final News”

  1. beth aka confusedhomemaker Says:

    That’s a cute way to tell him. I didn’t do anything cute, when I read stories like this I get a big smile but then go “ah, shoot I should’ve been creative”.

  2. Country-Fried Mama Says:

    I left the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. I figured my husband should find out the same way I did.

    Your way is better. Much better.

  3. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    This made me laugh so hard. With #2, I taped the pregnancy test to the downstairs bathroom mirror and wrote, “Hi, Daddy!” in huge letters with lipstick.

    Hubby went in, peed, washed his hands, dried them, exited bathroom without ever looking in the mirror.

    I was like, WTF????

  4. ymK Says:

    Your BFF was right about this making a great post! I think it was cute.

  5. ck Says:

    I can’t believe he didn’t notice! That’s really funny. So, has the morning sickness commenced?

  6. Steph @Red Clay Diaries Says:

    CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve been busy since the last time I stopped by. 😉

  7. theycallmejane Says:

    I love this! What a great way to share the news with everyone. But your husband not noticing during plan A is classic – sounds like my husband!

  8. Ink Says:

    That’s so funny that he didn’t look the first time (and that you’re going to save the pregnancy stick and prank him)! You’re so cute, Fae.

  9. Jen Says:

    OH CONGRATS. And welcome to the land of three!

  10. faemom Says:

    beth~ It took a third pregnancy to be creative.
    CFM~ The Husband would never have noticed a pregnancy test.
    TKW~ That’s awesome! Hilarious!
    ymK~ For some one who never reads them, she’s got her finger on the pulse.
    ck~ I’m announcing it, aren’t I? And obviously you don’t read what I write on twitter.
    Steph~ Npt as busy as you may think. Thanks.
    Ink~ It’s in the genes.
    Jen~ Thanks! It’ll be fun. Right?

  11. naptimewriting Says:

    Wow! Congrats! I guess I’m the only one who comes into the bedroom first thing in the morning with a hangdog expression, a test, and “oh, crap.”

    Wow. Of course Evan will be sleeping and potty trained, because, dammit, you need some things to go beyond right. Other than your parents not doing the math on conception…

  12. incognitomom Says:

    As usual, I’m late to the party. Congratulations! Three is the perfect number! Hope the morning sickness isn’t too bad. Can’t wait to read more updates on your blog.

  13. Zeemaid Says:

    I loved the writing on the diaper. That was hilarious. Typical hubby not noticing. *LOL* What a great story about spreading the news. Congrats again!!!

  14. Gibby Says:

    That is awesome! I can’t believe he didn’t see the note in the diaper! Men! (sorry, Fae’s hubby!)

  15. faemom Says:

    naptime~ While Evan does all those things now, when I was pregnant with Sean, Evan was not potty trained and he did not sleep through the night. Half way through the pregnancy, I wondered what the hell was I thinking to get knocked up with that kind of preasure. Now there’s debate if I should train Sean before the baby is born.
    incognito~ Morning sickness? Bad? LOL
    Zeemaid~ I know. I know. I can’t believe he didn’t notice.
    Gibby~ No apologies necessary. It’s exactly how I feel.

  16. holeycheese Says:

    Wow!! Thats’s great news! Congrats!!

    My husband would never get to discover it this way.. He knows my cycle. 🙂
    We hope we will have good news soon too…

  17. faemom Says:

    You have an attentive husband and a reliable cycle then; both things I don’t have. But I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

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