A week or so, I called The Husband a sucker in front of the boys. Tornado E had just conned his daddy to leave work early to go swimming. The Husband had been complaining all day about how much work he had to do, but all it took was a few “come on”s, and the husband was ready to go. I laughed and wiggled my pinky at him.
Me: He’s such a sucker.
Tornado E: What’s a sucker?
Me: Someone who is easily sucked in. You can sell them anything.
Tornado E: So Daddy’s a sucker?
Me: It’s a grown-up word for grown-ups to use.
Damn. This is going to bite me in the ass.
A few days ago, while at my grandma’s house for dinner, we were exploring the back yard with the boys. Uncle M and Tornado E found a dead bug.
Tornado E: That bug sucks.
Uncle M: What?!
Tornado E: That bug is a sucker because he’s dead. He sucks.
Uncle M looked around for me, for my mom, for any adult to get him out of the situation.
Uncle M: Fae! Do you know what your son said?
My mom and I listened carefully.
Crap. He got that from me. He figured it out. Crap.
My mom: Tornado E. We don’t use the word suck. We use the words like dirty, yucky, icky. So that bug is icky.
Tornado E: That bug is dirty.
My mom: That’s right. The bug is dirty.
Tornado E: Did you know Mommy called Daddy dirty?
The Husband: You did?
Me: (whispering) No, I called you a sucker.
Tornado E: Mommy said Daddy was dirty.
And give you Tornado E Mad Libs. That kid is too smart for his own good.