Birds & Bees, Part 1: Or the baby is naked in there?

I wanted to wait a little while to tell Tornado E about the new baby.  An eight to nine month wait is a long time for a little guy.  But Tornado E was very concerned about my “sickness,” asking me every day if I was still sick, if he would get sick, and that he was going to pray for me at his school.  A downside of sending him to a Christian preschool.  So I figured I better explain before the teachers started to think I had cancer or something.

Then Tornado E and I sat at lunch together today, talking as Tornado S caught an early nap, ruining my nap and my need to clean before the rental people inspect tomorrow.  Yea.

Tornado E: Mommy, why do you want three boys?

Me: Because I like boys.  How do you know it’s not a girl?  I like girls too.

Tornado E:  Ok, it can be a girl.

Me: Do you want another little brother or a little sister?

Tornado E: I think I want four kids.

Me: Four?

Tornado E: No, five.

Me: Five?

Tornado E: Yes, because I like kids.

Me: Well, five is a lot.  (I do not want to feel this sick again.  Eyes on the prize.  Eyes on the prize.)  But I’ll let Daddy know how you feel.

Tornado E: Ok.  Does the baby have shoes on?

Me: No, the baby is naked.

Tornado E: (giggling) He’s naked?  He needs clothes on.  Why doesn’t he have clothes on?

Me: The baby doesn’t need any because the baby is in Mommy’s womb.

Tornado E: We need to get him some clothes.

Me: How will we get clothes in Mommy’s body?

Tornado E: Hmmm.  We’ll put it in a box.

Me: How will we get a box in Mommy’s body?

Tornado E: Mommy, does the baby eat when you eat?

Me: Sort of like that.

Tornado E: Why do you have to eat more food?

Me: Well, I have to eat for the baby and me.  The baby has a lot of growing to do.  It’s only this big.  (I show the size of a large bean with the space of my fingers.)

Tornado E: Why is it so tiny?

Me: Because it starts out that way.

Tornado E: Why is it in there?

Me: Because that’s the best place for it to grow.  Don’t worry when it’s big enough, it’ll come out.

Tornado E: But it’ll be naked!

Me: Yes, but I’ll dress it before you see it.

Tornado E: But I’ll see it naked!

Me: No, you’ll be with Papi and Grandma probably.  I’ll dress it before you come.

Tornado E: But I want to see it naked!

Me: Then you can help give it a bath.

Tornado E: Mommy, why are you eating a pie with chicken?  Pies are suppose to have fruit.

Well, that was a close one.

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15 Responses to “Birds & Bees, Part 1: Or the baby is naked in there?”

  1. theycallmejane Says:

    I just love how the little mind operates! And I find myself in those very moments, bracing myself for the big finish, wondering what in the world I’m going to say when they ask THAT question and then suddenly, a gift from God, they go off to another direction. So glad to see you were spared today! Sweet post!

  2. KathyB! Says:

    Maybe you hould eat the box of clothes and then the baby would be taken care of. Sheesh. What kind of mom are you anyway?!

    🙂

  3. Ink Says:

    LOVE this. So cute to hear them thinking through the whole process. And how exciting it will be when they can feel the kicking.

    Hope that sickness leaves soon. Poor Fae. Huggies!

  4. Ink Says:

    Which reminds me: did you ever see that movie with Robbie Benson where his daughter asks him where babies come from? Let me see if I can find that scene on youtube for you.

  5. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    I am so enjoying your conversations with Evan. That little man is a thinker! I love that kid.

  6. ck Says:

    He does have a good point. Pies should always ONLY have fruit in them.

  7. insider53 Says:

    I’m sure that as your waistline expands he will have more questions. The pie one is a good one though, why are you eating a meat pie. Pies are suppose to be chocolate or coconut or chocolate.

  8. CynthiaK Says:

    What a great conversation! I love it. Hope you are feeling better soon!

  9. Libby Says:

    I’m with KathyB on this. Why haven’t you consumed the box with baby clothes in it yet? For shame, woman!

    =) Really enjoyed reading your conversation. Thanks!

  10. Freedom Debt Relief Says:

    That was really sweet of Evan 🙂 he is a great kid to have a good conversation.

  11. Gibby Says:

    Haaaaa!! I am still laughing! You are right, that was sooo close. Nice work, Fae, nice work.

  12. Not Afraid To Use It Says:

    I’m glad he didn’t want you expand on how to get the clothes in your belly. Kids come up with the craziest ideas!

  13. Ink Says:

    Ok, I can’t find a clip where he discusses babies with his daughter, but here’s the trailer for the film (Modern Love). Make sure you watch it to the end (best part is last). 😉

  14. Ink Says:

    Ok, can you see the video, too, in your comments? When did WP start allowing that? AWESOME!

    Btw, Robby Benson’s wife used to sing with Meatloaf (“Paradise by the Dashboard Light”? Karla!). Way!

  15. zeemaid Says:

    *LOL* I had to skip all your other catch up posts because of the title of this one was to tempting to wait and it was worth it. Attention span the size of a gnat… thank goodness! *L*


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