More Complaints about the Blessings of the First Trimester

If it isn’t enough that Mother Nature cursed most of us the need to empty our stomachs of all nutrition the first trimester, she blessed us with a few extra treats.  Like bone-deep, night-of-the-living-dead exhaustion.

I once read a theory that said that women were sick and tired in the beginning of pregnancy because it made them take better care of themselves as though they truly were sick.  I think I would prefer a coma instead.  I don’t know one mother who is able to baby herself when pregnant.  Maybe someone rich with a nanny, cook, and maid, but that’s not us.

I don’t remember being this tired with my other two pregnancies.  But I could have been.  With Tornado E, I was doing my time as an opening cashier at Home Depot.  (Ah the job opportunities for those blessed with a creative writing degree.)  Every morning I was up around 5 am to make it to work.  I’m not a morning person, and it was hard on me.  When I was pregnant with Tornado S, Tornado E was waking up in the middle of the night to cry, plead, and beg until he was in bed with us.  I gave in every night to find myself kicked, punched and shoved towards the end of my bed.  See, my pregnancy exhaustion could easily be cloaked by my every day exhaustion.

I do remember Tornado E watching more television in those early pregnancy weeks than any other time.  It’s happening today.  I feel like a horrible mother as I lay on the couch, trying to keep down breakfast, trying to get the energy to dress the boys as they slowly become television zombies.  My one shred of hope is that this is just a drop in the bucket in the large scheme of things, and I actually do pretty well with lack of sleep and a newborn.  (Knock on wood.)  It doesn’t ease the guilt though, so I usually drive them to my parents house so that my brother, the favorite Uncle M, can run them out in games of tag, wrestling,  hide-n-go-seek, swimming, soccer, and every thing else a favorite uncle can do when Mommy is just too weak.

And if that isn’t enough to feel like you just drank a bottle of Nyquil and that your breakfast would like to make an encore appearance, I have this horrible taste in my mouth.  It’s like something foul crawled in mouth and died in the back of my throat.  It makes me sick just to think about it.

I remember walking behind an MA at an appointment when I was pregnant with Tornado E.  She asked how I was doing.  “The usual.  Sick.  Tired.  Hey, I have this horrible taste in my mouth that I can’t get rid of . . . ?”  “Oh.  Lots of patients complain about that.”  Thanks that was so very helpful.

I found that cheap breathe mints, wintergreen flavor, was the only thing that kept the taste at bay.  I chewed on them constantly for a month or two in the other pregnancies.  This pregnancy, between the vomiting and dry heaving, my stomach is so tender it hates the thought of breathe mints.  I’m chewing on ice instead.

My prayers now end with “And Dear God, if it is in Your infinite wisdom, please get me the HELL out of the first trimester tomorrow.  Even if it isn’t in Your infinite wisdom, release me, I beg of you.  Make me horribly fat in the first week of the second trimester.  Give me swollen feet.  I’ll deal with stretching ligaments, pimples, even a few extra stretch marks.  JUST GET ME WELL.  For the boys, of course, so they have a better mother.  Amen.”

Well, it’s only a few more weeks.  Right?

But then my mother says I’m “dwelling” on it which makes it worse.  Right.

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15 Responses to “More Complaints about the Blessings of the First Trimester”

  1. parenting BY dummies Says:

    Frick! Frick, frick, frickity, frick-frick. How did I not even know you’re pregnant? I guess I missed the “Hey world. I’m pregnant, woohoo! post”, and since you don’t mention every post (like I would for sympathy and praise), I totally missed it. Okay, you can say I suck now and you can stop reading PBD for like two days (otherwise I’ll miss you) as punishment. Please don’t tell me you are going to give birth in like a week. Clearly that’s not the case, but still, I hope you forgive me for being the worst, most self centered, annoying blog friend in the whole entire world (wide web). I suck. I’m sorry. I hope your sickness goes away soon, and I hope it’s a girl. Even if you don’t want a girl I want you to have one b/c I didn’t get to:).

  2. insider53 Says:

    Oh Fae, so sorry to hear how horrible it is for you. Hang in there just a little longer. Never heard of a bad taste in your mouth during pregnancy before.

  3. KathyB! Says:

    Blach. This just sucks. I’m sorry the first trimester has been such a terrible bear! It’ll be over soon. I promise.

  4. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    Oh, is it that metallic taste? Have you tried lemon drops? And if you are that miserable, you are TOTALLY allowed to both whine AND eat ice. You get a free pass.

  5. Ink Says:

    (((((Fae))))) Maybe Preggie Pop Drops (esp. the sour ones) would be worth a shot? I also had the corner on the cinnamon gum market.

    Feel so bad for you. (And properly indigant re: someone telling you that you’re “dwelling” on it. As if you could just start thinking about flowers and butterflies and everything would be better.)

  6. Evenshine Says:

    Nothing made it better for me. No ginger, no Triscuits, no lollipops. For me it was Phenergen shooters as quick as I could come by them. And then sleep. But for a Mommy that’s not easy to come by. Come ON, Second Tri!!

  7. confusedhomemaker Says:

    I don’t have anything but pure and utter empathy. I get the horrible joy of vomiting throughout pregnancy. And so for that reason alone I pray for you to get out the hell of vomit today!

  8. joz1234 Says:

    Get as much rest as you can!! I know it’s hard…threaten to sit on those kids. ;0)

    God could be really ironic and bless you with hemmoroids and PUPPS (after or during pregnancy)…(that’s a really awful itchy rash all over your body–which really sucks if you are pregnant in the summer months).

    I hope you find some peace with your first trimester or your wish comes true!

  9. Zeemaid Says:

    you know what… you’re a great mom. So what if the kids watch a little more t.v. at the moment. This too shall pass. I’m glad you have such a great brother to help you out with the boys. I had extreme exhaustion with E and J but I think when it came to O I just wasn’t allowed.

    Hang in there!!!!

  10. ck Says:

    Well, the good news is that…wait, what was the good news again? I can’t remember. Sorry. I was going for the positive angle, but forgot what it was.


  11. femspotter Says:

    **Ah the job opportunities for those blessed with a creative writing degree.**

    Ha ha ha! I have a film degree and an English lit. degree and the most common thing I hear on job interviews is:

    “Wouldn’t you make a wonderful receptionist!”

  12. naptimewriting Says:

    I am Soooooo not going to tell you that I’m still puking at 16 weeks. I keppt trying to hold on to 14. And yesterday and today I puked five times. Each.
    Hope you find your magic pill/breath mint. I finally found Clif Shot Bloks.

    Good luck.

  13. faemom Says:

    Oh, suck! I actually have a vague memory of going into the 16 week with both boys. I’m hoping it’s a nightmare. Of course, I had heartburn so bad with Sean that I didn’t gain enough weight for a while until the doc gave me wonderful pills.

  14. Polprav Says:

    Hello from Russia!
    Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?

  15. The Worst Things of Pregnancy « Faemom Says:

    […] hate HATE the first trimester.  I think I complained about it enough here, here, here, here, and here.  Oh and here.  To say I’m sick and tired through those first months is to miss the point of […]

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