Mommy Mojo

About two weeks ago, I lost my mommy mojo.  I meant to write about it at the time, but the boys kept doing cute things I had to write about instead.  Besides it was happier.

For three days, I had no patience for the boys’ antics as they tested the weaknesses of the line.  On the last day of no patience, I started screaming.  Ok, not screaming because I didn’t increase the pitch of my voice.  I yelled extremely loud.  Enough to make Evan cry.  Enough that through his tears, he kept saying “Calm down, Mom.  Calm down.”  I just thought I would be calm if you did the goddamn thing I told you to the first time, instead of the twelfth.

After a long talk with the BFF and highly encourage evening off to read (as in “Fae, if you don’t take a break, I swear I’ll drive out there tonight and tie you to a chair”), I was able to gain my patience back.  I missed not laughing at the cute moments that were passing me by because of my I-had-to-go-I-had-to-get-this-done-this-is-a-priority attitude.  I know if I’m calm I can deal with the problems in a better way without escalating them to yelling, “That’s it!  You’re living outside!”

But the boys are still testing the lines.  I find myself ready to lose it at any moment.  Errands are nearly a disaster as they dance around and antagonize each other by touching.  Naptime is a constant fight of telling them to stop giggling, spitting, burping, talking.  Toys must be dumped everywhere and fought over even if there are TWO of the same exact toy.  They’re wrestling, fighting, touching, pushing, hitting, ramping it all up.  Bath time has become a war.  I am sounding like my mother and wondering if it’s time to go find a switch.  Because they’re not even listening to the simplest of requests.

The thing that sucks is I’m so pissed off that I can’t even laugh at it after the matter.  I just take a deep breath and wait for the next onslaught of the raptors.

So until I get my patience/humor back, I’ll leave you with this little quote:

“They show extreme intelligence, even problem solving.  When they look at you, you can see they’re thinking, working things out.  They just keep attacking the lines.  They never attack the same place twice, unless they’re sure they can get through.  They’re testing the lines for weaknesses.  Systematically.  They remember.”

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11 Responses to “Mommy Mojo”

  1. itneverrainsinseattle Says:

    Nice quote from Jurassic Park.

    I have good news for you. You already know this, I’m sure, but I’ll say it anyway: the phase your kids are in right now will end the first week of January. Boys this age go through this phase at this time of year like clockwork. I only say “like clockwork” because we’ve seen it in our own boys and confirmed this with teachers and other parents of similarly-aged boys. Our oldest is 7 1/2, the middle is 4 1/2, and the youngest is 1 1/2 years old. The 7 1/2 did not go through this phase this year, so that’s good news, too: they eventually stop the Christmas Boundary Testing Phase.

    Alas for us, the four-and-a-half-year-old is making up for it by being twice as bad as his older brother ever was. And it’s all I can do to remind myself, “It’s going to get better. It’s going to get better. It’s just a phase. It’s going to get better.”

    But it is. Next year, in fact, I expect Evan won’t be this rough on you. Sean probably won’t be this rough next year, either. But the year after that….

    Repeat after me: “It’s going to get better. It’s only a phase.” They’ll be angels in a week or two. I promise.

  2. incognitomom Says:

    Fae – hugs. You pretty much described how I feel most of the time. You know you need to step back and rethink things when your little one says, “Mom, calm down and take a deep breath. It’ll be okay.” Swear, honest to God. He gave my own words of advice right back to me. The up side of that is now I know he does listen to what I say even if he doesn’t actually do what I say. I hope things get better for you soon. If not, send me an email and we can commiserate together.

    itneverrainsinseattle – really? There is a Christmas Boundary Testing Phase? You promise it will get better in January? I’m holding you to that. 🙂

  3. joz1234 Says:

    Are you sure we haven’t parented the same kids???!!!
    My sanity saver? we have 2 couches in the living room. when they get too rascally with the constant touching, antagonizing and whining, I just say “Get on a couch!” They have to go to different couches, they can have a toy and the TV can be on…then I go to my bedroom for about 5-10 minutes. If they get off the couch, they go to their room for real “timeout”. Usually they are good, they just needed a distraction.

    Good luck to you. I was feeling you totally as I read your post.

    …and the husband asking what you have been doing definitely doesn’t help.

  4. beth aka confusedhomemaker Says:

    It can be so damn hard some days! I totally feel ya, I’ve had those phases & have to remind myself to focus on the positive stuff that is going on. And remind myself to take a break when I need it.

    *hugs*

  5. Court Says:

    You. Are. Not. Alone. 🙂

  6. Fie Upon This Quiet Life Says:

    I am going to admit something terrible — I have often wondered if my son is mentally retarded because he just doesn’t listen to me. If it weren’t for the fact that so many of my friends’ kids are exactly the same way, I would have to fight the urge to institutionalize him. You’re not alone — and some of us are more evil than you. Hugs.

  7. Coco Says:

    I often think that little kids are *exactly* like Raptors, myself.

    Thinking of you, Mama.

  8. Maureen@IslandRoar Says:

    And don’t forget to add: They were made to look cute and vulnerable, so we don’t kill them.

    Some days (weeks, mos…) it’s so hard. And other times the same stuff doesn’t make us feel so bad. I’ve been doing this 22 years and still don’t get it. Hormones? Weather?
    Hope you’re coming out the other side of this one….
    Happy New Year!

  9. faemom Says:

    INRIS~ I may hold you to that. But it’s nice to be reminded that this too is a phase. Thanks.
    incognito~ At that moment when he uses your words against you, are you pleased or ready to scream? Because I’m usually ready to scream.
    joz~ Brilliant idea! I may just have to try that.
    beth~ Thanks. You’re right. Mommy needs a time out.
    Court~ Are you starting to regret the whole second child idea yet? 😉
    FUTQL~ OMG I’ve turned to other people to ask if I was still speaking English. Just in case it was coming out in Japanese or Wa-wa-wa.
    Coco~ I know! So why can’t we use tranq guns on them?

  10. faemom Says:

    Maureen~ Stupid evolution making kids look so sweet, making us want to protect them. I’m going to work on a theory about what you said about how some stuff doesn’t bother us all the time.

  11. zeemaid Says:

    HAH I recognized that quote immediately from Jurassic Park!!!

    I don’t know if it helps but we’re going through the same problem right now. I think part of it is the holidays, we’re so busy trying to make it a happy time that sometimes we lose the happy times then they are stuck inside and it’s just not the same as it is in the winter (unless you live someplace warm and not rainy like me you can cross that out). Add to that you’re growing a new baby… no wonder patiences is a little on the thin side. I’m sure you’ll find your mojo soon!


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