About two weeks ago, I lost my mommy mojo. I meant to write about it at the time, but the boys kept doing cute things I had to write about instead. Besides it was happier.
For three days, I had no patience for the boys’ antics as they tested the weaknesses of the line. On the last day of no patience, I started screaming. Ok, not screaming because I didn’t increase the pitch of my voice. I yelled extremely loud. Enough to make Evan cry. Enough that through his tears, he kept saying “Calm down, Mom. Calm down.” I just thought I would be calm if you did the goddamn thing I told you to the first time, instead of the twelfth.
After a long talk with the BFF and highly encourage evening off to read (as in “Fae, if you don’t take a break, I swear I’ll drive out there tonight and tie you to a chair”), I was able to gain my patience back. I missed not laughing at the cute moments that were passing me by because of my I-had-to-go-I-had-to-get-this-done-this-is-a-priority attitude. I know if I’m calm I can deal with the problems in a better way without escalating them to yelling, “That’s it! You’re living outside!”
But the boys are still testing the lines. I find myself ready to lose it at any moment. Errands are nearly a disaster as they dance around and antagonize each other by touching. Naptime is a constant fight of telling them to stop giggling, spitting, burping, talking. Toys must be dumped everywhere and fought over even if there are TWO of the same exact toy. They’re wrestling, fighting, touching, pushing, hitting, ramping it all up. Bath time has become a war. I am sounding like my mother and wondering if it’s time to go find a switch. Because they’re not even listening to the simplest of requests.
The thing that sucks is I’m so pissed off that I can’t even laugh at it after the matter. I just take a deep breath and wait for the next onslaught of the raptors.
So until I get my patience/humor back, I’ll leave you with this little quote:
“They show extreme intelligence, even problem solving. When they look at you, you can see they’re thinking, working things out. They just keep attacking the lines. They never attack the same place twice, unless they’re sure they can get through. They’re testing the lines for weaknesses. Systematically. They remember.”