My Parrot

Evan: Uncle J is cool.

Uncle J is my mom’s baby brother.  He may be many things, but he is not cool. The dude looks like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, smokes like a chimney, and is not the brightest penny in the fountain.  What mid-forty-something forgoes paying the gas bill to buy a new paint ball gun and go paint balling?  But I can see why Evan likes him; he listens and never talks down to kids.

Yet I couldn’t help explain that Uncle J is not cool because Evan also decided to adopt Uncle J’s football team . . . the Oakland Raiders.  The Husband and my baby brother will tolerate many things in the love of sports, except for the love of the Oakland Raiders and the New York Yankees.

Sunday night we were over to have dinner at my grandma’s, and I had stepped out of the room.  My uncle, aunt, my dad, and my boys were sitting around the breakfast bar, snacking on nuts.

Evan: Uncle J, my mommy says you’re not smart.

The room grew silent.  (And for the record I NEVER said that.  I said he didn’t go to college, and in another conversation I said smart people go to college.)

Evan: And that you smoke!

At this the room bursts out laughing.

Aunt S: Yes, he sure does.

Evan: (beaming) Smoking is yucky!

All the adults: Yes, it is.

I think I better be more careful how I phrase things.

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7 Responses to “My Parrot”

  1. itneverrainsinseattle Says:

    Faemom, you bring up an incredibly important point here.

    We need to talk to our kids about the dangers of cheering for the Oakland Raiders and the New York Yankees while they are still young. Because, if we don’t, who will? They’ll learn about the Raiders and the Yankees on the street.

    Thank you for the reminder. My oldest is 7 1/2, and we still haven’t had The Talk yet.

  2. Maureen@IslandRoar Says:

    My kids are all old now, but I still have to say things like “That doesn’t get repeated outside this room right?”
    They never learn. Or maybe I should say, WE never learn.

  3. suzicate Says:

    That is hilarious!!!!! My son told his kindergartedn teacher that I drink and drive, and when she asked for more details, he told her that I had a Pepsi in the car every morning when I took him to school. And that’s only one of the stories. His teacher was very forthcoming with his conversations!!!

  4. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    Oh my God, that is hilarious. I love it!

  5. Jane Says:

    Ah, from the mouths of babes! Too funny!

  6. faemom Says:

    INRIS~ I wish you luck with The Talk. It’s always hard for a parent to have The Talk with their kids, especially with so many bad influences today.
    Maureen~ I was really hoping he’d grow out of this because I talk a hell of a lot and shouldn’t be held responsible for everything said.
    suzicate~ Can you imagine how worried that teacher was before she pressed him for details? Though she might start leaning in to smell your breath from now on. Just in case.
    TKW~ That’s because it didn’t happen to you.
    Jane~ I know. They keep us entertained.

  7. zeemaid Says:

    *L* thankfully my kids haven’t repeated any of my rants (that i know of) to my inlaws. My mom has recently reminded me that they are now getting big enough to repeat and to watch what I say. Which I have to say… sucks. 😉


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