It was over 24 hours after I sat thinking instead of reading, trying to find some sleep. Instead I found my Mommy Guilt. But then Sunday morning, reality struck, at 7:30 am as I began to unstuck the dishwasher and place the last of the coffee cake on plates for breakfast. Sean ran into the kitchen.
Sean: Moooommmmmmyyyyyyy! Sword! Pirate! Please!
Sean held up the sword and pirate for me to fix. I took them, placing the sword in the pirate’s hand. I handed it back.
Me: There you go, Seanny.
Sean: Thank you!
He ran out of the kitchen.
Evan: Mommy! Juice!
Evan came into the kitchen. I raise one eyebrow.
Evan: I need juice.
Me: That’s not how we ask.
Evan: Can you please get me juice?
Me: Yes, I can.
I pulled out the juice and their juice cups from the fridge. I poured the juice, added some water, and sealed the lid. I hand it to Evan.
Evan: Thank you, Mommy.
Me: You’re welcome.
Evan left the kitchen. Sean, seeing his brother have juice, ran into the kitchen.
Sean: Juice! Please! Mommy!
I fixed Sean his juice and handed it to him.
Sean: Thank you!
Me: You’re welcome. Hey, boys, breakfast is ready when you want it.
Sean stopped running out of the kitchen and turned back to the little table with their breakfast waiting. He grabbed a piece of cake.
Sean: Cinnamon cake! Mmm, yummy!
Me: What, Evan?
Evan: I need HELP!
Me: What do you need?
Evan: I need to go poop!
I left the kitchen and went to the bathroom, where I placed the little seat on the toilet. Evan pulled off his pants.
Evan: Can you help me on?
I picked him up and put him on the pot. I walked into the family room, where I was greeted by a horrible stench.
Me: Sean, are you pooping?
Me: Are you done pooping?
Since Sean was standing very still and that he was interrupted the night before, I let him be and returned to emptying the dishwasher.
Evan: I’m having a hard time!
I return to the bathroom to see Evan “bearing down,” turning red.
Me: Ok. Calm down. Just wait for it. Would you like a book?
Evan: How about the cat ninja one?
Me: We don’t have that one.
Evan: How about a cupcake one?
Me: We don’t have one like that either.
Evan: Ok, Jungle Drums.
I fetched the book and handed it to Evan.
Evan: Ok, read to me.
Me: (I don’t think so, the stench is searing off my eyebrows.) Not right now. I have to-
Sean: Moooommmmmmyyyyyyy! Sword!!! Pirate! UGH!!!!!!!
I walked into the family room. Sean was crying and carrying on with all his little might. His pirate in one hand, the sword in the other.
Me: Calm down, Sean. Just ask Mommy nicely.
Sean: Please. Pirate. Sword.
I reached down and plucked the offending toys out of his hand. I replaced the sword into the pirate’s hand and handed them back to Sean.
Sean: Thank you, Mommy.
Evan: Mommy! What is that?!
I looked over and saw Evan holding up the book for me to see. He’s still on the pot. Thank goodness for a small house sometimes.
Me: It’s a water buffalo.
Sean: Mommy! Police man is Papi! He had no hair! Hair, please?
I took the police man and his hair and placed the hair on the police man’s head.
Me: There you go.
Sean tried to place the hat on the police man’s head and started crying because it’s an either-or thing. I took the police man from Sean and tried to switch the hat for the hair, but Sean saw and started crying again. I switched it back. Sean kept crying.
Evan: Moooommmmmyyyyy! I need help! I’m done! I need youto come wipe my bottom!
Me: In a minute!
I switched the hat for the hair and pocketed the hair. I ran to the bathroom and pulled some toilet paper off the roll and folded it.
Me: Here. You try first.
Evan leaned over, putting his head between his knees and wiped.
Me: Good job.
Evan jumped off the toilet and leaned over the bath tub, so I could finish. I sighed. Motherhood. I wiped Evan’s bottom. I threw the toilet paper into the potty and flushed. I washed my hands.
Me: Wash your hands. Then get dressed.
Evan: I need your help.
Sean: Mommy! I want to dress too! I need help!
We walked into the bedroom. I helped Evan on with his underwear, removed Sean’s pajamas and diaper. I placed a new diaper on Sean as well as pants and socks. He picked out a shirt.
Sean: Basketball shirt!
Evan: How about I’m a doctor today, Mommy? Then I can make you feel better.
I helped Sean with his shirt as I heard Evan rifle through the costumes. Evan ran into the room holding two pairs of scrub pants.
Evan: Is this it?
Me: (pulling out the pants out of his hands) One’s yours, and the other’s Sean’s. And they’re both pants.
Evan: (whining) But where’s my shirt?
Me: Still in the costumes. Go look.
Evan: But I did!
Me: Take things out and look again. I’ll help you in a minute.
Evan ran off, and I got up to go help.
Me: Take out the hats and the armor. See, there it is. Dr. Evan.
Evan: Can you help me put it on?
I helped Evan put on his scrub shirt with its velcro back. I guess my boys need me, and I do spend plenty of time with them.
Me: Did everyone finish breakfast?