It was over 24 hours after I sat thinking instead of reading, trying to find some sleep. Instead I found my Mommy Guilt. But then Sunday morning, reality struck, at 7:30 am as I began to unstuck the dishwasher and place the last of the coffee cake on plates for breakfast. Tornado S ran into the kitchen.
Tornado S: Moooommmmmmyyyyyyy! Sword! Pirate! Please!
Tornado S held up the sword and pirate for me to fix. I took them, placing the sword in the pirate’s hand. I handed it back.
Me: There you go, Tornado S-y.
Tornado S: Thank you!
He ran out of the kitchen.
Tornado E: Mommy! Juice!
Tornado E came into the kitchen. I raise one eyebrow.
Tornado E: I need juice.
Me: That’s not how we ask.
Tornado E: Can you please get me juice?
Me: Yes, I can.
I pulled out the juice and their juice cups from the fridge. I poured the juice, added some water, and sealed the lid. I hand it to Tornado E.
Tornado E: Thank you, Mommy.
Me: You’re welcome.
Tornado E left the kitchen. Tornado S, seeing his brother have juice, ran into the kitchen.
Tornado S: Juice! Please! Mommy!
I fixed Tornado S his juice and handed it to him.
Tornado S: Thank you!
Me: You’re welcome. Hey, boys, breakfast is ready when you want it.
Tornado S stopped running out of the kitchen and turned back to the little table with their breakfast waiting. He grabbed a piece of cake.
Tornado S: Cinnamon cake! Mmm, yummy!
Tornado E: Mooooommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy!
Me: What, Tornado E?
Tornado E: I need HELP!
Me: What do you need?
Tornado E: I need to go poop!
I left the kitchen and went to the bathroom, where I placed the little seat on the toilet. Tornado E pulled off his pants.
Tornado E: Can you help me on?
I picked him up and put him on the pot. I walked into the family room, where I was greeted by a horrible stench.
Me: Tornado S, are you pooping?
Tornado S: No.
Me: Are you done pooping?
Tornado S: No.
Since Tornado S was standing very still and that he was interrupted the night before, I let him be and returned to emptying the dishwasher.
Tornado E: Moooooommmmmmyyyyyyy!
Tornado E: I’m having a hard time!
I return to the bathroom to see Tornado E “bearing down,” turning red.
Me: Ok. Calm down. Just wait for it. Would you like a book?
Tornado E: How about the cat ninja one?
Me: We don’t have that one.
Tornado E: How about a cupcake one?
Me: We don’t have one like that either.
Tornado E: Ok, Jungle Drums.
I fetched the book and handed it to Tornado E.
Tornado E: Ok, read to me.
Me: (I don’t think so, the stench is searing off my eyebrows.) Not right now. I have to-
Tornado S: Moooommmmmmyyyyyyy! Sword!!! Pirate! UGH!!!!!!!
I walked into the family room. Tornado S was crying and carrying on with all his little might. His pirate in one hand, the sword in the other.
Me: Calm down, Tornado S. Just ask Mommy nicely.
Tornado S: Please. Pirate. Sword.
I reached down and plucked the offending toys out of his hand. I replaced the sword into the pirate’s hand and handed them back to Tornado S.
Tornado S: Thank you, Mommy.
Tornado E: Mommy! What is that?!
I looked over and saw Tornado E holding up the book for me to see. He’s still on the pot. Thank goodness for a small house sometimes.
Me: It’s a water buffalo.
Tornado S: Mommy! Police man is Papi! He had no hair! Hair, please?
I took the police man and his hair and placed the hair on the police man’s head.
Me: There you go.
Tornado S: Hat?
Tornado S tried to place the hat on the police man’s head and started crying because it’s an either-or thing. I took the police man from Tornado S and tried to switch the hat for the hair, but Tornado S saw and started crying again. I switched it back. Tornado S kept crying.
Tornado E: Moooommmmmyyyyy! I need help! I’m done! I need you to come wipe my bottom!
Me: In a minute!
I switched the hat for the hair and pocketed the hair. I ran to the bathroom and pulled some toilet paper off the roll and folded it.
Me: Here. You try first.
Tornado E leaned over, putting his head between his knees and wiped.
Me: Good job.
Tornado E jumped off the toilet and leaned over the bath tub, so I could finish. I sighed. Motherhood. I wiped Tornado E’s bottom. I threw the toilet paper into the potty and flushed. I washed my hands.
Me: Wash your hands. Then get dressed.
Tornado E: I need your help.
Tornado S: Mommy! I want to dress too! I need help!
We walked into the bedroom. I helped Tornado E on with his underwear, removed Tornado S’s pajamas and diaper. I placed a new diaper on Tornado S as well as pants and socks. He picked out a shirt.
Tornado S: Basketball shirt!
Tornado E: How about I’m a doctor today, Mommy? Then I can make you feel better.
I helped Tornado S with his shirt as I heard Tornado E rifle through the costumes. Tornado E ran into the room holding two pairs of scrub pants.
Tornado E: Is this it?
Me: (pulling out the pants out of his hands) One’s yours, and the other’s Tornado S’s. And they’re both pants.
Tornado E: (whining) But where’s my shirt?
Me: Still in the costumes. Go look.
Tornado E: But I did!
Me: Take things out and look again. I’ll help you in a minute.
Tornado E ran off, and I got up to go help.
Me: Take out the hats and the armor. See, there it is. Dr. Tornado E.
Tornado E: Can you help me put it on?
Tornado E: Please?
I helped Tornado E put on his scrub shirt with its velcro back. I guess my boys need me, and I do spend plenty of time with them.
Me: Did everyone finish breakfast?