7am reality check

It was over 24 hours after I sat thinking instead of reading, trying to find some sleep.  Instead I found my Mommy Guilt.  But then Sunday morning, reality struck, at 7:30 am as I began to unstuck the dishwasher and place the last of the coffee cake on plates for breakfast. Tornado S ran into the kitchen.

Tornado S: Moooommmmmmyyyyyyy!  Sword!  Pirate!  Please!

Tornado S held up the sword and pirate for me to fix.  I took them, placing the sword in the pirate’s hand.  I handed it back.

Me: There you go, Tornado S-y.

Tornado S: Thank you!

He ran out of the kitchen.

Tornado E: Mommy!  Juice!

Tornado E came into the kitchen.  I raise one eyebrow.

Tornado E: I need juice.

Me: That’s not how we ask.

Tornado E: Can you please get me juice?

Me: Yes, I can.

I pulled out the juice and their juice cups from the fridge.  I poured the juice, added some water, and sealed the lid.  I hand it to Tornado E.

Tornado E: Thank you, Mommy.

Me: You’re welcome.

Tornado E left the kitchen.  Tornado S, seeing his brother have juice, ran into the kitchen.

Tornado S: Juice! Please!  Mommy!

I fixed Tornado S his juice and handed it to him.

Tornado S: Thank you!

Me: You’re welcome.  Hey, boys, breakfast is ready when you want it.

Tornado S stopped running out of the kitchen and turned back to the little table with their breakfast waiting.  He grabbed a piece of cake.

Tornado S: Cinnamon cake!  Mmm, yummy!

Tornado E: Mooooommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy!

Me: What, Tornado E?

Tornado E: I need HELP!

Me: What do you need?

Tornado E: I need to go poop!

I left the kitchen and went to the bathroom, where I placed the little seat on the toilet. Tornado E pulled off his pants.

Tornado E: Can you help me on?

I picked him up and put him on the pot.  I walked into the family room, where I was greeted  by a horrible stench.

Me: Tornado S, are you pooping?

Tornado S: No.

Me: Are you done pooping?

Tornado S: No.

Since Tornado S was standing very still and that he was interrupted the night before, I let him be and returned to emptying the dishwasher.

Tornado E: Moooooommmmmmyyyyyyy!

Me: What?

Tornado E: I’m having a hard time!

I return to the bathroom to see Tornado E “bearing down,” turning red.

Me: Ok.  Calm down.  Just wait for it.  Would you like a book?

Tornado E: How about the cat ninja one?

Me: We don’t have that one.

Tornado E: How about a cupcake one?

Me: We don’t have one like that either.

Tornado E: Ok, Jungle Drums.

I fetched the book and handed it to Tornado E.

Tornado E: Ok, read to me.

Me: (I don’t think so, the stench is searing off my eyebrows.)  Not right now.  I have to-

Tornado S: Moooommmmmmyyyyyyy!  Sword!!! Pirate!   UGH!!!!!!!

I walked into the family room. Tornado S was crying and carrying on with all his little might.  His pirate in one hand, the sword in the other.

Me: Calm down, Tornado S.  Just ask Mommy nicely.

Tornado S: Please.  Pirate.  Sword.

I reached down and plucked the offending toys out of his hand.  I replaced the sword into the pirate’s hand and handed them back to Tornado S.

Tornado S: Thank you, Mommy.

Tornado E: Mommy!  What is that?!

I looked over and saw Tornado E holding up the book for me to see.  He’s still on the pot.  Thank goodness for a small house sometimes.

Me: It’s a water buffalo.

Tornado S: Mommy!  Police man is Papi!  He had no hair!  Hair, please?

I took the police man and his hair and placed the hair on the police man’s head.

Me: There you go.

Tornado S: Hat?

Tornado S tried to place the hat on the police man’s head and started crying because it’s an either-or thing.  I took the police man from Tornado S and tried to switch the hat for the hair, but Tornado S saw and started crying again.  I switched it back. Tornado S kept crying.

Tornado E: Moooommmmmyyyyy!  I need help!  I’m done!  I need you to come wipe my bottom!

Me: In a minute!

I switched the hat for the hair and pocketed the hair.  I ran to the bathroom and pulled some toilet paper off the roll and folded it.

Me: Here.  You try first.

Tornado E leaned over, putting his head between his knees and wiped.

Me: Good job.

Tornado E jumped off the toilet and leaned over the bath tub, so I could finish.  I sighed.  Motherhood.  I wiped Tornado E’s bottom.  I threw the toilet paper into the potty and flushed.  I washed my hands.

Me: Wash your hands.  Then get dressed.

Tornado E: I need your help.

Tornado S: Mommy!  I want to dress too!  I need help!

We walked into the bedroom.  I helped Tornado E on with his underwear, removed Tornado S’s pajamas and diaper.  I placed a new diaper on Tornado S as well as pants and socks.  He picked out a shirt.

Tornado S: Basketball shirt!

Tornado E: How about I’m a doctor today, Mommy?  Then I can make you feel better.

Me: Fine.

I helped Tornado S with his shirt as I heard Tornado E rifle through the costumes.  Tornado E ran into the room holding two pairs of scrub pants.

Tornado E: Is this it?

Me: (pulling out the pants out of his hands)  One’s yours, and the other’s Tornado S’s.  And they’re both pants.

Tornado E: (whining) But where’s my shirt?

Me: Still in the costumes.  Go look.

Tornado E: But I did!

Me: Take things out and look again.  I’ll help you in a minute.

Tornado E ran off, and I got up to go help.

Me: Take out the hats and the armor.  See, there it is.  Dr. Tornado E.

Tornado E: Can you help me put it on?

Me: Please?

Tornado E: Please?

Me: Sure.

I helped Tornado E put on his scrub shirt with its velcro back.  I guess my boys need me, and I do spend plenty of time with them.

Me: Did everyone finish breakfast?

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9 Responses to “7am reality check”

  1. Jane Says:

    I’m embarrassed to say it but I kinda miss the days when the boys “needed” me this much!

  2. Fie Upon This Quiet Life Says:

    See? Plenty of quality time!

    (For the record, I am hoping that by the time my baby is old enough to request help that the older kiddo will be entirely self-sufficient. A girl can dream…)

  3. Gibby Says:

    I’m thinking their reality is pretty awesome.

  4. beth aka confusedhomemaker Says:

    Yes, they do need you & you are there for them. It’s not always the big moments but sometimes those small ones of simply being Momma that we can connect to our children.

  5. suzicate Says:

    You know the saying a woman’s (Mommy’s) job is never done. They’ll always need you…the needs might change throught the years but the need won’t.

  6. faemom Says:

    Jane~ But they do stop “needing” you on this level? I just can’t wait until I stop wiping butts.
    FUTQL~ LOL Let me wipe the tears out of my eyes. If your dream comes true, let me know how you did it.
    Gibby~ Me too!
    beth~ And there are lots of small moments.
    suzicate~ I think you’re right there.

  7. zeemaid Says:

    *LOL* Okay I shouldn’t laugh because that is frighteningly like scenes in our own home plus one extra kid.

    Yup.. can’t wait until wiping bums finally stops too. 😉

  8. faemom Says:

    Give me a few months, zeemaid; I’m quickly closing in on your family size.

  9. joz1234 Says:

    here’s a tip for the wiping that worked for Bert (you might already do it). I got him wetwipes and explained that they were not to be flushed. Then I told him to wipe with toilet paper and then finish with wetwipes. I only had to buy the wipes for a little while until he got better at wiping.

    and, WOW! You are a busy woman!!! I’m all for making them self sufficient as soon as possible. I don’t have that kind of mommy stamina. Good for you! 🙂


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