Ten Things I Learned This Week

  1. Chocolate.  I need lots of it.  All I want is chocolate or ice cream.  I figure this is the last time I’ll ever not have to worry about my weight, so I’m indulging.
  2. I’m more competitive with my brothers than I thought I was.  I was so sure I grew out of competing with them when I was in college.  But all it took was my mom to beg us to get Farmville Farms so she can have more neighbors and my baby brother kicking my ass in points to make me want to play the damn game all the time.  Of course, I don’t have time for a new obsession.
  3. I apparently cut tomatoes “wrong.”  I didn’t know there was a right way.
  4. I apparently cube hard boiled eggs in a weird way too.  Isn’t it nice to have moms around to correct you?
  5. Pregnancy shirts show way too much cleavage, which is something I forget until I wear them again.  I get it.  I’ve got a nice rack.  The only reason to show it off is for guys to ogle.  They aren’t ogling a pregnant woman’s breasts.
  6. When I’m pregnant, food doesn’t get to my mouth all the time.  It lands on that big tummy or worse down the shirt with the low cut cleavage.  Do you know how annoying it is to have a popcorn kernel in your bra?
  7. My sons want to be the same Jedi.  The obscure Kit Fisto.  And he happens to have a green light saber, so they’re still fighting for it.
  8. Tornado E is afraid of sharks.  Hmmm.  But he knows exactly where the Jaws DVD is and brings it out to ask questions.  Sharks aren’t that big, Tornado E.  Sharks don’t eat people.  I don’t know why that shark is going to eat that woman.  Wait a few years, and we’ll watch it, and I’ll show you were it’s wrong.
  9. Tornado S has a bladder like a steal trap.  The kid doesn’t pee after a dry nap for an hour or two.
  10. When husbands become fathers to children who miss him and he misses them, he feels guilty for being away and brings them presents.  He’s no longer required to bring the wife something.  Not that I’m complaining, but some chocolate would have been nice.

11 Responses to “Ten Things I Learned This Week”

  1. Brae Says:

    I SOOOO Love this post, because I absolutely identify with EVERYTHING- I only have one son, who actually wants to always be Darth Vadar, but still. I get it.

  2. Gibby Says:

    I had to stop at number one. I gave up chocolate for Lent. Eat for me, Fae!!!

  3. Ink Says:

    LMAO at #6…I remember it well.

    Sounds like a good week for learning, Fae! 😉

  4. zeemaid Says:

    mom’s are good for that. my mom thinks i’m weird because I use the timer for rice, she just guestimates. I time. apparently that’s weird.

    He definitely should have brought you some chocolate!!!

  5. jc Says:

    how do you cut tomatoes wrong?!!?!? If a tomato is in pieces, it’s cut. period. end of story. Next time, stick the whole tomato on top of the salad or sandwich.

  6. suzicate Says:

    What’s with the green light saber? They’re making ME want one! Love your list…I think you should absolutely indulge in all the chocolate you want, and I’d throw a little caramel in there too while I was at it!

  7. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    I’m with jc. Now I’m dying to know how you cut a tomato.

  8. tlc Says:

    I hear ya about the clevage exposure in maternity shirts! They make those tops so low -not to mention so flippin thin- that you are forced to wear a cami or a tank under them. Which would be fine, except I assume the manufacturers make them thin because pregnant women tend to over heat easily. Well, wearing a thicker (more modest) top would be far more comfy than wearing TWO shirts! I’m just sayin…

  9. Jane Says:

    I think your two boys and my two boys may be the only ones out there wanting to play Kit Fisto. We should get them together!

  10. jen Says:

    Re: the bladder. My son doesn’t pee when he wakes up in the morning. Until after breakfast. Sometimes until after he gets dressed. And he drinks water at NIGHT. So, yeah. I hear ya.

  11. faemom Says:

    Brae~ Ok, what is up with them wanting to be the bad guy? I thought no one wanted to be the bad guy, and then my boys WANT to be. So are we raising bad guys?
    Gibby~ Oh, Gibby. That’s so hard. Good luck! Easter is going to rock.
    Ink~ Well, we learn to keep young, right?
    zeemaid~ My mom looks down at people who use recipes for frequent meals. I just don’t want to forget something or miss measure.
    jc~ See that’s what I thought. What does it matter how I cut a tomato? It’s cut.
    suzicate~ Oooo, caramel. Great idea!
    TKW~ I stand it right side right and cut down. Apparently, I’m suppose to turn it on its side AND then cut down. And when I chop it for bruschetta, I chop in hunks and my mom hates that too.
    tlc~ Who the hell designs maternity clothes any way?
    Jane~ I agree. But won’t they all want to be Kit Fisto then?
    jen~ And how are we suppose to potty train with that? Ugh.

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