Third Trimester Beef

I’ve got a few more complaints about this pregnancy thing.  I’m in my third trimester, so I’m getting big, I’m getting smooshed, I’m getting squished.

Which Tornado S I was so big, that I was only comfortable in our wing-back chair because it made me sit up straight.  Once I was watching a movie with BFF and The Husband, and The Husband kept asking me to come over and sit with him because I would be more comfortable on our saggy leather coaches.  Finally, the BFF told him to look at me, I was fine where I was.  And I was.  It was the only way to breathe easy and allow digestion.

That’s another thing.  Digestion.  Not only does it take For. Ev. Er. I now have a tinier stomach.  Those two things are not good when one is trying to get some sleep.  Not good at all. When I was pregnant with Tornado E, I learned how not good it was and that you can actually have vomit come out your nose.

If laboring like a hugely, grotesque woman wasn’t bad enough, I do two things during pregnancy that I NEVER do at any other time.  I snore.  And I drool.  The Husband complains bitterly over my snoring.  But he has no room to talk.  His friends think I must be a saint because every one of them can tell stories of sharing a hotel room with The Husband and not being able to sleep, contemplating snuffing him out with a pillow.  My old roommates on the other hand will swear I never snore.  The drooling is plain embarrassing, especially in this pregnancy where I can’t sleep on my side.  The stupid drool pools on the corner of my mouth, drying there, creating a sore.

Now you can see why I feel so damn sexy.

Ally Camisole Maternity Set

Sexy Lace Flyaway Babydoll with G-String

Yeah, not so much.

14 Responses to “Third Trimester Beef”

  1. Lisa Says:

    Breathing. That’s what I remember struggling the most with during my 3rd trimester. Of course, he was my 6th child (and the 22 total pounds I gained with my FIRST pregnancy were surpassed by the 3rd month with the last one!), and I was also dealing with “advanced maternal age” (another way of saying OLD LADY, I think). So unless I was sitting up or lying on my side, I couldn’t breathe!

    Oh, by the way, glad you were able to use those photos of me on your blog 🙂

  2. Evenshine Says:

    OK, those photos just about got me fired. Where on earth– never mind. No, really. Never mind.

    Hang in there…at least you’re closer to the end than the beginning!!

  3. amber Says:

    oh the joys of the last few months/ weeks….

    not too much longer:)

  4. jc Says:

    Vomit out your nose!? holy hell batgirl.

    I drool too, I sleep with my mouth open, always have. I look like a zombie. If I’m not drooling, I’m mumbling something. Seriously, I’m a barrel of laughs when I sleep.

    WHOO HOO with the outfits! *plays Donna Summer’s Hot Stuff for you*

  5. Country-Fried Mama Says:

    You look HAWT, Faemom. Wait, those aren’t pictures of you? And how did you get to your third trimester already? Boy, your pregnancy is flying by…for me.

  6. Jane Says:

    Oh my goodness! You have me laughing so hard. Boy, do I remember those days! I finally got pregnant late in life (at age 40) and when I reached my last trimester I wondered what in the world everyone was talking about “how beautiful” it all is, “how great” you feel.
    You crack me up!

  7. joz1234 Says:

    Ha! Those girls are NOT in their third trimester…if they are, give them some type of award. Definitely their first children.

    If it makes you feel any better…I sleep with the mouth open..slobber style anytime I sleep on my tummy. Pregnant or not.

    Breathing was hard with the second one…all 9 lbs, 11 oz. of him. In my slim (well not when I was pregnant) 5’4″ body…it squished everything up.

    straight back chairs rock when you are pregnant. Crazy men who have not figured that out by the time their wives are on their third child and almost done with being pregnant should be made to sleep outside…they might get about as much sleep as you are getting.

    Good luck girl! A baby is around the corner!! LUCKY!!! Hopefully by the time you have yours I will be expecting one. 😉

  8. Brae Says:

    LOL- when I’m pregnant, I snort when I laugh. But not at any other time. It’s funny the things our bodies do to us. The least the hubbies can do is give us a good back rub.

  9. Maureen@IslandRoar Says:

    If there’s anyone that is allowed to complain all they want, it’s a woman in her 3rd trimester. Those other models are clearly stepford.

  10. Fie Upon This Quiet Life Says:

    Looks like those babies were made in a porno. Geez, models — must be nice to be able to shave when you’re pregnant.

    So, having recently been pregnant myself, I definitely sympathize. The last bit sucks. The worst part for me was having such horrible ligament pain. I didn’t have that at all with the first kiddo. The heartburn and acid reflux was also pretty insane. I felt like I couldn’t eat after 4 p.m. or I would be miserable all night. I found, though, that Zantac helped out with the digestion issues a lot. You might try that. Also avoiding dairy or anything fatty helped too.

    When are you due again? I am sending you positive vibes to get through the rest with minimal difficulty.

  11. faemom Says:

    I just had a mini-heart attack because I found this post missing. Somehow it got in the trash. I was afraid I dreamed all those hilarious comments.

    Lisa~ I’m glad you allowed me to post those pictures of you.
    Evenshine~ Don’t you have your own office?
    amber~ Nope, now I just have to get the house ready . . . .
    jc~ I don’t recommend the vomiting out your nose. I here there’s a famous website that a wife blogs every day what her husband says at night.
    CFM~ Yeah, I wish. It is flying by. That scares me a little.
    Jane~ Did they at least tell YOU how beautiful YOU are during the last few months? Because I think there’s a law about that somewhere.
    joz~ I’m pulling for you. Would you like to rub my tummy? I’m one of those crazy fertile women.
    Brae~ Exactly. Or at least bring me chocolate every time he goes out.
    Maureen~ They’re clearly airbrushed or computerized. Though I’d like to meet a woman that comfortable and feels that sexy that she bought one of those outfits.
    FUTQL~ I’ve got to get on your blog! OMG, I totally have the ligament pain, but I think I complained about it before so it didn’t make this post. April 18th is the due date, but I’m betting on the 12th.

  12. itneverrainsinseattle Says:

    The biggest problem I had with my wife’s three pregnancies was how I put on all that weight but then… unlike for my wife, it didn’t come off after the babies were born. 😛

    Here’s what was running through my head while reading this post. Right Said Fred:

    “I’m too sexy for my drool
    Too sexy for my drool
    So sexy and coooool….”

  13. joz1234 Says:

    heck I’ll try anything! ((belly rub incoming!)) LOL!

  14. faemom Says:

    LOL Excellent

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