When did I get old enough

Maybe it’s me, but . . . .

When did I get old enough to have a mortgage?  The most expensive thing I’ve ever bought was a pair of Doc Martins.  Right?  Wait, there’s the car, the health insurance, the car seats, the furniture.  It seems like a dream.

When did I get old enough to be married?  Even on good days, I wonder why on earth would someone say he wanted to be with me for life and me with him.  Sure, I was in love before, but this is so adult and complete.  Obviously we were crazy.

When did I get old enough to have kids?  Granted, I could have had them in my teens, biologically speaking, but still.  I’m trusted with the care of two young children.  Two sweet, innocent, fragile children that drive me up the wall half the time.

In fact, when did they both start turning into little boys?  It feels like yesterday they were just babies.  Tornado E will be in kindergarten next year, and Tornado S is asking to go to school, talking in clear sentences, and picking out his clothes.

At this rate, they’ll be in college before I know it.  When did I get that old?  Someone had me a paper bag, please.

9 Responses to “When did I get old enough”

  1. Fie Upon This Quiet Life Says:

    YES! I am right there with you. Since my birthday was last week, age has been on the brain. But I stared down 34 without flinching. The thing that always gets me is thinking about where my mom was when she was my age. At 34, my mom had three kids — one of them 14! — and a house, two cars, a lot, lot, lot of debt and was working two jobs. By the time my mom was 34, she was married for 15 years. Can you believe that? At 18, my mom was a grown up. At 34, I feel like I’m a very mature kid. And I can’t believe someone let me take not one, but two kids home from the hospital with me to … like… raise.

    My mom is now 56, almost 57, and she’s a widow, a vice president of an insurance company, has three grandsons (two mine, one from my older sister), and she’s very lonely because she misses my dad so much. By this time in her life, they had been together for 40 years. Can you imagine?? I look into the future — just like I did when I was a kid — and try to see myself in ten, fifteen, twenty years. I had no idea when I was a kid that this is where I’d be at 34. What I’ll be up to at 57 is a complete and utter mystery. Weird…

  2. Gibby Says:

    I think of this often. Actually, when someone asks me my age, I always hesitate, because the number doesn’t seem to match what is in my mind. Sometimes I feel like I’m just playing house because surely I can’t be responsible for all of THIS.

  3. blackhuff Says:

    It’s scary to think how fast our lifes actually fly by.

  4. Evenshine Says:

    Ack. Thanks for reminding me, too!!

  5. jen Says:

    I had one of those, “Oh, I’m the MOM!” moments this morning as I was walking my son to his kindergarten classrooms and watching all of the mothers walking their kids to classrooms. It was one of those completely wacko moments where I nearly needed to stop and pinch myself to reality. Yup, I’m the mom. Scary!

  6. faemom Says:

    FUTQL~ OMG, You and I are on the same wavelegnth. At my age, my mom had three kids, one in first, homeschooling the second in pre-K, and a toddler. At 18, my mom wasn’t married, but she had a full time job, was renting a house, and bought two new wardrobes a year; I was in college and doing pranks. I’ve never been able to wrap my brain around being older than 21. Crazy!
    Gibby~ I hesitate too. But it’s because I still think I’m 21. Oh, wait. I’m not.
    blackhuff~ It’s enough to send me into panic attacks.
    Evenshine~ Misery loves company. Want me to pass you the chocolate?
    jen~ Some Talking Heads’ “Once in a Lifetime” for you: “And you may ask yourself-Well…How did I get here?/ Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down/ Letting the days go by/water flowing underground” Now we need a song for us moms out there.

  7. zeemaid Says:

    you expressed that so well Fae. I often am “surprised” at how grown up I am. Some days I wish I could go back for a little bit. … just a little. 😉

  8. ck Says:

    Watch it, woman. You’re not old. You’re YOUNGER than I am. And I refuse to be old. 🙂

  9. Brae Says:

    Serious! I still identify better with the 10 year old girls I teach at church than I do the women my age. And I think it’s amazing and startling at teh same time to see the astounding leaps my kids make all the time. My 4 year old thinks she’s 15. ~shakes head~ They’re getting away from me already!

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