Tales from the Potty

I will say it again and again (and again and again) that if we didn’t make men wear pants, their hands would always be touching their penises (or peni, if you prefer).

We’ve had a week of serious potty training, allowing Tornado S to run around, at least, half-naked.  And the kid hits the pot every time.  Like a pro.  Even pooping in the potty.  It’s stupidly easy.  Enough for me to realize that this has to be a trap.

And since Tornado S is naked, his hands are ALWAYS on his penis.  When asked what’s in his hand, he switches hands to hold one up and says “nothing.”  Nice.

I calmly remind him of Penis Rule #1: You may play with your penis alone and in your bedroom.  At this point I could say it until I’m blue in the face or when the cows come home because none of the three are going to happen any time soon.

The other day my mom joined in to remind Tornado S not to play with his penis.  He said ok and went back to playing with Lincoln Logs, but moments later his hand began to move towards his penis.  When the hand got about four inches from his penis, his hand jerked to a stop and returned to the Lincoln Logs.  A couple of minutes later, his hand began to move again to his penis.  When the hand was within inches of his penis, he jerked it back again.  This happened several more times like his hand had its own agenda and Tornado S was merely overpowered by it.

No matter what The Husband says, I will still affirm that men would be holding their penises all day long if they didn’t have to wear pants.

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4 Responses to “Tales from the Potty”

  1. Maureen@IslandRoar Says:

    Is there any doubt at all?
    My 22 year old son just LOVES (yeah right) when I tell this story, but in kindergarten I had to share with the teacher our secret code for telling him in public to get his hands off his penis. Thru his clothes and all. We would make a peace sign with our fingers and wave it back and forth till he noticed. We sat on the soccer field sidelines many saturdays, willing him to look at us doing this right on thru first grade. I’ll probably need to share this with his wife when he gets married one day.

  2. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    1 chronic masturbator vs a 4 year old who STILL isn’t potty trained. Hmm, I think I’d take the masturbator. Because the 4 year old? She is ZERO fun.

  3. jc Says:

    “I will still affirm that men would be holding their penises all day long”

    braking nooz: THEY DO.

  4. Jane Says:

    OMG. This post? Too funny. So true. And I don’t think the pants are helping – not in this house, anyway!


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