Due to illness at the Fae household, we’ve been watching a lot of movies and television. All kid friendly. (I’m starting to hate the damn TV.) One of the movies I TiVoed that we are watching over and over (and over and over) is Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. But on the sixth viewing, I realized that Buck’s rules are the perfect parenting rules to live by.
Rule #1: Always listen to Buck
Or Always listen to Mom. We don’t talk to hear our own voices. Ok, I do. But what we tell our kids (and husbands) needs to be heeded. We make up rules for a reason. We tell stories for a reason. We command for a reason.
Rule #2: Always stay in the middle of the trail.
Parenting is a give and take kind of game. Everything needs to be in moderation. If you’re too lenient, your child will be spoiled and walk over you. If you’re too strict, your kid will rebel and resent you. You have to moderate the tv, the computer, the sports, the candy, the vegetables, everything.
Rule #3: He who has gas must travel at the back of the pack.
Well, that just goes without saying. I don’t know how my kids produce so much stench when I know what they are eating. It’s weird. And gross.
Rule #4: We should all have our heads examined.
Because we decided to have kids. We decided to raise kids. We’re trying to moderate our parenting. We’re up to our eyeballs in crazy situations we we should never have got ourselves in to. Lord help us.
Rule #5: Rule #2 can be ignored if it is a female involved or possibly a cute dog.
I don’t do chocolate in moderation. I’m sorry. I don’t. It’s why I don’t own a chocolate fountain. I would swim in it. Sometimes you have to ignore the rules, bend them and break them. When the boys are sick, I hook them up to the TV; if I didn’t, they wouldn’t sit still long enough to rest and recoop. I’m sure I can think of half a dozen times that I ignored #2. Everything is in perspective.
You know I just make up these rules as I go along.
Just like the rest of my parenting. Just like the penis rules.
These Mom Tips were brought to you by Parenting by Dummies (who can’t say I don’t try to participate in her themes).