Weeks went by. SP moved into the condo; I moved into my apartment. I took the desk from the condo, which I turned upside down and threw down two flights of stairs because it was easy and C wasn’t home. I accidently started dating the rare 20 year old virgin, which led me to take refuge at the condo with SP, Best Friend, and Tough Chick as the virgin called fifty times a day even after I explained that I didn’t get home until 10pm because of work and school. He didn’t listen; my roommate wanted to kill him; and he tried to choke me with his tongue when we kissed. That was a week old romance.
Not long after the mutual break up, C threw another party at his condo and invited the whole group. We went because the underage and the broke of our circle could score booze. I went because I was the DD, since I still flirted with being Straight Edge.
As I stood at the breakfast bar, watching my friends pour drinks, as I sipped my soda, C came up and started talking to me. His friends sat on the couches not to far from us and started chanting “Rudy.”
Me: What’s up with that?
C: They think I look like Sean Astin from Rudy.
Me: Oh. I never saw that movie. (But for the record C totally looks like Sean Astin.) So why do they keep chanting?
C: Because they’re jerks.
Me: Oh. Figures.
C had to leave me and go mingle with the crowd. The man could work a room. His Best Girl Friend slide up next to me and grab the bar for support as she swayed.
BGF: Have you met my friend C?
BGF: No. Have you met my friend C?
Luckily Tough Chick swooped in and saved me, but when ever I was alone, the scene with the BGF repeated itself. After a couple hours, it was decided that most of the group was ready to go. Except Loose Canon and Tough Chick. They planned to stay the night, and so I took Loose Canon’s car and drove everyone home.
The next day near noon, the phone rang.
Tough Chick: Fae? Are you sitting down?
Tough Chick: I think you should. We have a problem.
TC: (Sigh) Loose Canon f-ed C last night.
TC: Yeah. She waited until he was drunk and tired enough to go to bed. Then she went into his room five minutes after he did and attacked him.
Me: So she raped him?
TC: Um, he’s a guy.
Me: If roles were reversed and a guy waited until a girl was drunk and tired and then attacked her when she went to bed, we would call that rape.
TC: I guess you’re right.
Me: So how did C take it?
TC: He’s a guy.
TC: But he feels guilty because he’s 30 and she’s 21. He feels like he took advantage of the situation and plans to take her out for dinner.
Me: Took advantage of the situation? She jumped into his bed. Wait, did you even see her talking to him at all?
TC: No. She was nursing a beer in the corner the whole time, not talking to anyone. C mainly talked to you when you were there.
Me: Ok, she’s creepy. And she’s totally going to f up us all up with hanging at the condo.
TC: She just laid him. Tomorrow things will be normal. We’ll all move on.
Me: Loose has never “just” laid anyone. She falls in love with each and every guy she’s banged. She confuses sex with love even with the one night stands.
TC: Unlike you.
Me: Me? Yes, I can separate love from sex. Personally, I prefer it that way. Men are meant t be used. When did Loose start eyeing C anyways? I thought she thought he was scuzzy.
TC: That was before the night of your big date with the virgin-
Me: Shut up.
TC: And we all went bowling. C was dressed nicely from work and we learned he owned a million dollar business.
Me: Money sings to OC chicks.
TC: So what are you going to do as the official “mom” of the group?
Me: Crap. I guess I’ll talk to her tomorrow before class and make sure she understands what an f-buddy is. I just wouldn’t hold my breath. At least I’m out of here on Wednesday until Sunday. You still picking me up from the airport?
And yes, the next day, I did talk to Loose Canon, but it did no girl. All week she spoke of C with that puppy-love voice. Always mentioning how she stayed that night with him. I was glad to get out of the drama. Except it was waiting the moment I got back.
I slid into the Tough Chick’s car on Sunday.
Me: Thanks for waiting. Stupid terrorists f-ing up my airports and planes. I’ve been waiting for two hours to catch the shuttle to get here.
TC: No problem. I was on a phone call with an old friend and didn’t notice the time. I might have left your ass.
Me: Which would have sucked since I don’t have a cell phone.
TC: Which you need.
Me: But don’t have the money for. Besides what’s the point? So how are you?
TC: Good. But we have more issues.
Me: What now?
TC: Loose Canon left her toiletries and an outfit at the condo in C’s room.
Me: WHAT?! Who leaves their crap at their f-buddies house? I dated the ex for two years and never left a single hair tye at his dorm.
TC: No sh-. So C saw that and lost it and told SP to tell Loose to get her sh- out of his room. And I’m pretty sure that short-lived relationship is over.
Me: Great. And how does C feel about SP and her friends now?
TC: Well, he likes me. Straight guys love lesbians. And he keeps asking when you’re coming back.