Thoughts on my 30th

I’m a pessimist.  Therefore I see problems first and then come up with solutions.  Unfortunately, I usually come up with one solution, and if it doesn’t work, then I keep beating it against the problem, hoping that it’ll work.  It usually doesn’t.  I call this my box theory.

I’m co-dependent.  Which really sucks.  And I’m praying that I don’t have to go to Co-Dependents Anonymous for the rest of my life.

It’s not normal not to want me time.

I need to actually reach out and make friends.  Which I’m doing, like having coffee with a mom friend or lunch with my sister-in-law because she’s that cool.

I need time alone with The Husband.  I kind of forget how important that is.

I really do miss date nights.

I miss not being responsible.

So if I’m juggling motherhood, marriage, friends, me-time, and housework, when am I going to write?

I need to break out of my planning-box every once in a while.

The blogs are where I go to have friends and realize what is normal, like needing time alone and kids putting things in their butt cracks.  You guys rock my world.

Maybe I should stop making New Year Resolutions and make Birthday Resolutions.

Self-examining is f-ing hard.  It hurts my head.  It hurts my heart.  But I’m still surviving.

I am the phoenix.

7 Responses to “Thoughts on my 30th”

  1. Brea Says:

    I don’t make resolutions, because I hate making promises I don’t know that I can keep. My girls had so many promises broken by their paternal gene donor over the years, I cringe at the thought of “promising” anything. I now let things be happy surprises instead.

    Take care of you, and you’ll have more patience and energy to take care of them. As a mom of 3, I send you {HUGS} and a big “I HEAR THAT!”

  2. confusedhomemaker Says:

    Happy birthday…may the year ahead be one that allows for your fire to shine brightly as you rise again.

  3. Ink Says:

    Happy birthday, dear Fae! I hope that you have a wonderful celebration. And YOU rock, and I hope that very soon, some energy will return to you. It’s SO hard that first year, especially when you have other kiddies to take care of too. But soon, the energy will return, and you WILL find time to write more. And you WILL find time to do some things Just For You. And you WILL feel like yourself again.

    Hope you have a GIANT piece of cake, sweets.


  4. itneverrainsinseattle Says:

    Best wishes to you, my friend, that this coming year will be among the best so far.

    Here’s to forward progress and better days ahead. You deserve to be happy.

  5. zeemaid Says:

    it’s funny how these milestone type birthdays make us contemplate our lives. I’m going to be 40 in another year and trust me I’m not looking forward to it.

    As Aidan gets bigger and the boys start school etc.. you will start to find more me time. It will all balance out.. you’ll see. Not too long ago I was where you are at and I was about to go crazy.. now I can actually see some light at the end of the tunnel.

  6. zeemaid Says:

    … and Happy Birthday!!!

  7. jc Says:

    Happy Belated Birthday Fae!
    and here’s some *confetti* and HERKIES! and a glittery unicorn sticker that smells like flowers.

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