I’m a first born.  Rules and authority are very important to me.  Being on time is Very Important to me.  So I freak out at any sight of lateness.  I get antsy and yell-y.  I guess I get close to becoming a rabid dog.  I’m even worse when it’s my fault.

So when I was working on some paperwork for Tornado E’s school (because, Of Course, I can get it done before school instead of doing it the night before) and I noticed I was already three minutes late, I got panicky.

Then I noticed Tornado E didn’t have shoes OR socks on.

While I was trying to get Tornado E to put on his socks, I grabbed Tornado S to sit on my lap to put on his sandals.  I noticed he was wet.

As in wet!  As in he PEED HIS PANTS!

Are you KIDDING!

So then I got yell-y.  As I tried to get Tornado S to strip.  And The Husband stepped in and sent Tornado E, Tornado A, and I on our way.

But Tornado E’s lunch box needed a juice box and an ice pack.  my cell phone was on the other side of the room, NOT in my purse.  And where was that damn pizza form?!


I think I’m heading for an early heart attack.

After herding Tornado E into the car with strong, loud language, I realized The Husband had borrowed my car last night, so the keys were in the house, not clipped on my shorts.  I grabbed them and my purse and the form and jumped in the car and pulled out.

I was a street away when:

Tornado E: Mommy, where’s mt lunch box?

I looked in the back.  No lunch box!  I swore I grabbed it when I grabbed my purse.  I drove back.  There it was on the floor on the garage.

Me: I swear I put it on the hood with my purse when I put you guys in.

Tornado E: I moved it.


We were off again.  Only now there was a car diagonal in front of the gate, trying to get it open.  Idiot.  Finally, the idiot moved, so I could trigger the gate.  And of course, we missed the light.

And I resigned myself that we would be late.  On the second day of school.


7 Responses to “Tardy?!”

  1. Jane Says:

    I see myself in this post (another firstborn, too!) I hate mornings like this. You are not alone!

  2. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    My mornings are always a complete freakshow. I swear, I have the common sense of a fire hydrant in the morning.

  3. Kate Collings Says:

    Oh my goodness what a palava. I only have one son an 17 month old and my mornings feel more chaotic than yours. I dread to think what I would be like with more than one.

    Lots of chamamile tea and lavander oil in the evenings to relax you and prepare you for the following day.

    Take care
    Kate Collings


  4. Fie Upon This Quiet Life Says:

    Well, I’m a second born, but I still hate being late. And I hate people who are late on a regular basis. Once in a while is no biggie. But we have friends who are consistently an hour or more late. In order to be friends with them, I have to remind myself to make our plans for an hour or more before I actually want to see them. Or I will hate them. And then we won’t be able to be friends. Anyway – we have all had mornings like this, and boy are they awful. I’m sorry!

  5. zeemaid Says:

    ouch. I hope the day went better after that!

  6. faemom Says:

    Jane~ Thanks. It drove me crazy.
    TKW~ LOL “common sense of a fire hydrant.”
    Fie~ Duuuuuuude! We have friends like that! Several, in fact. No one has ever showed up earlier than 45 mins late for any party we’ve thrown.

  7. letmestartbysaying Says:

    Man, I am the same way. Not much unhinges me like being late. I have always been early to EVRYTHING, then I had a kid. Then another. I recently Tweeted about this exact thing. School starts for us in 2 weeks, and I already have being late for school on my mind!

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