I’m drawing a blank here.
Usually I start composing somewhere in the shower. The only five minutes of peace I have until everyone is passed out. But lately I’ve been during a shower meditation, so it takes up most of my time.
Usually I have most of the day to compose because I write during nap time when Tornado A and Tornado S are sleeping and Tornado E is at school. Not only is Tornado E out of school and plays the Piper to Tornado S’s Child, today is counselor day, so the boys will be at my parents’ house during nap time. I will be doing something to help my mom.
Usually I can be focused even with two boys breaking in to tell me something or show me something or beg me for something. But I’m trying not to think about composing speeches for the counselor and obsessing about the lies that started a year ago Sunday. Yeah, that not thinking is working out well. So I drag my brain to another thought. Like how my mom has just found out today what stage of breast cancer she has and I should call her and see how she is doing. After I finish this post. So I drag my brain away to the wrapping I have to do (all of it) and the Christmas cards that need to be done (most of them) and the ornaments the boys need to make (please don’t let me burn them again) and the cleaning I should do (because we’re preserving memories here, folks) and I got to remember to check the directions on what tools we need to build the bikes and should I bake something (because those muddie buddies found their way into my hands WAY too many times the last two days) and maybe I should stop writing and start making a list. And checking it twice.
I think I’m about to have a panic attack.