I’m learning that life has a way of taking your beliefs and shoving them into your nose until you admit that you’re a pompous ass.  Back when I started this blog, I said I would force my boys to take responsibility if they knocked up a girl.  A commenter asked how could I do that if they did everything possible and it was THE Girl who wanted a baby.  Too bad, I said, life sucks.

The other day my brother told me how his friend got his ex-girlfriend was knocked up.  The friend had used protection.  They broke up days afterwards.  He didn’t call her.  Then several months later she tells him that she’s knocked up and it’s his.  He’s shocked.  He’s unsure if it’s even his.  She surprised he’s not over the moon about it and that he doesn’t come racing back to her.  He’s not ready to be a father, that’s why he used protection, and he didn’t want to start a family with a woman that he realized wasn’t a good mate.  Not to mention, the girlfriend threatens to sue him for money, then talks about how he should bond with the child, and then yells that he’ll never see the kid.  That’s just the way to start a parent relationship.  Ugh.

So now, I’ve learned there are ALWAYS two sides of a story.  And for every logical stance, there’s another logical stance from the other end.  It’s easy to throw stones when we’re not in the situation. 

So I retract.  If one of my boys gets into a pregnancy situation, I’ll be more understanding and wait to hear all the facts before I murder him.  Ok, kidding.  Kidding.  I’ll hear all the facts and then help any way I can.  At least I can be grateful I learned this lesson without it being one of my sons.


5 Responses to “Retraction”

  1. suziejd Says:

    Well, regardless of how obnoxious the ex-girlfriend is behaving, the father will likely still be forced to “take responsibility” for the baby, as I’m sure you know. And since the ex-girlfriend’s behavior isn’t the resulting child’s fault, that’s a good thing.

    It does seem like a paternity test is in order, though.

    Although I can’t help but to point out that someone doesn’t do “everything” they can to ensure a pregnancy doesn’t happen since the sperm ended up in there somehow.

  2. kloppenmum Says:

    What an awful situation for that young man to be in…it’s amazing how new information can change your perspective, isn’t it? I did the same with our parenting style – a 180 degree turn around from the direction we were headed.

  3. mrs.undomestic Says:

    That’s awful.

    I’m a firm believer that pregnancy should not mean marriage… Being a parent and being married are too vastly different things, and sometimes they don’t go together.

    Hope everything works out for that guy – and that his ex grows up!

  4. incognitomom Says:

    Yeah, funny how life works like that, isn’t it? One minute you know how you think is right and then something happens that blows your thinking all to hell. Parenting has done that for me. As well as my brother’s problems with drug addiction and his role as a father. I thought for sure I had drug addiction all figured out … yeah turns out I knew nothing. Same with how he handles fathering … there were times that in spite of all his other problems he was the better parent to his son. I now have a whole different perspective on what fathers go through when they are no longer with their child’s mother.

    Hope all works out for your brother’s friend. Tell him to get a paternity test (unless in the case of my brother the kid comes out looking so much like him that a test is not needed).

  5. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    Oh dear. She just sounds like a barrel of fun, eh? I’m with the commenter above; paternity test!!!

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