Mama’s Boy

It’s always said with a sneer.  No boy wants to be called that.  It’s worse than being told “you throw like a girl.”  (And for the record, I grew up throwing just as hard, fast, and far as my brothers.)  But it’s something boys fear, fathers fear, and mothers fear.  As though a mother’s love is going to twist a boy’s budding manhood.

Lately I’ve been reading a lot of books about raising boys.  They all seem to agree; a child cannot get enough love.  Many of the books talked about the importance of the mother-son bond because the mother is the one who usually teaches empathy and emotions.  Imagine what the world would be like if more people were in touch with their emotions and could empathize with other people.

Which leads me to Tornado S.  He’s my cuddler, my love-bug.  He tells me he loves me all the time.  I want to save up those words because I know one day the world will tell him he shouldn’t tell me so often, if at all.  And as I hug and kiss him, I know the world will tell him he doesn’t need my love.

I remember covering him with kisses as a baby, thinking, “These are going to have to last you until you find a mate, and they are going to have to be strong enough to carry you through heartache and loneliness, until you find home again.”

Because in the end, we are the model to teach our children to find a partner.  We are the home they will try to recreate.  We are the love that will guide them until they are no longer alone.

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4 Responses to “Mama’s Boy”

  1. kloppenmum Says:

    Absolutely. It really bugs me too, that people call affectionate or clingy boys “Mummy’s boys”…often it’s temperament – they need more reassurance, or age and stage – younger than five; sometimes it is because Mums have been over-protective, but does it matter? Then, many of those same people complain about the anti-social state of growing boys or men…I wish they’d realise that they can’t have it both ways. It’s great that Sean’s a hugger…it’s a sign of great parenting – don’t ya know!

  2. rakster Says:

    Beautifully put.

  3. Steel magnolia Says:

    I’ve had many of these thoughts, too. My son is also quite affectiionate–with me. But I can feel him moving towards that masculine hardness. I’ll keep the hugs and kisses coming whether he initiates or not. Thanks for the affirmations!

  4. faemom Says:

    kloppenmum~ Thanks. I completely agree. It’s sad what kind of vice we use on masculinity.
    rakster~ Thanks.
    Steel Magnolia~ One book I read said that single mothers don’t accept “boys have to pull away,” so they keep the hugs coming and the lines of communication open. Those boys grow up to be men who understand emotions better.


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