Another crappy first

I had a first the other day.  And not a happy first like baby’s first tooth or the first time you saw a really great movie or a first kiss.  No, an unhappy one.  Like the first time you got a zit.  Or the first time you were pulled over.  Or the first time I washed my hands with bleach.  Like I did the other day.  Why?  A funny story, that.

In the midst of making dinner, in the midst of Tornado A’s witching hour when he NEEDS to be held NOW, in the midst of sending Tornado E to time out for wailing on Tornado S (though surprisingly Tornado S was fine), Tornado E went to the bathroom.  As he pulled off the toilet paper, the roll fell of the spindle and into the toilet.  The toilet with crap in it.

So I heard this:

MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Crap.

I came running to find Tornado E standing there with his pants and underwear around his ankles.

Crap.

And then I looked in the toilet.

Crap.

For a moment, I reflected on the fact that I had lost my keys down a toilet a year and half ago, and if those keys could be flushed down a toilet, then surely this plastic tube could be too.  But the toilet that swallowed my tasty keys was a public restroom with a powerful, face-sucking flush.  This was a rental.

Crap.

I grabbed the ever so small sliver sticking out of the water.  I let it drip.  I wrapped it in a tissue and ran for my bathroom, where I dropped in the sink.  I proceeded to scrub my hands.  Once.  Twice.  Thrice.  Four time.  Five.  Six.  Seven.  And where’s the bleach?

And then I washed my hands with bleach.  And then two more times with soap and water.  I let the spindle soak in bleach and water.  Ewwww.

And dinner – Crap.

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4 Responses to “Another crappy first”

  1. mrs.undomestic Says:

    Aww.. the things mothers do! lol totally second your ewww!

  2. kloppenmum Says:

    eeeeewwwwwww! and double eeeeewwwwwww!
    Sometimes, it’s hard to remember, these, are the good old days… (I tell myself that constantly, hopefully it’s true!)

  3. jc Says:

    My hair scrunchy went flying into the toilet last week. I was so pissed. I fished it out with a hanger – the scrunchy and hanger went straight to the trash and out to the dumpster.

    I don’t think I could have done what you did. I probably would have thrown up and made things worse. Feeling ill just thinking about it.

  4. faemom Says:

    mrs.undomestic~ No kidding! On both counts!
    kloppenmum~ “The good old days?” I’m guess we get to have selected memory loss. Awesome.
    jc~ It’s amazing the things you will do because no one else is there to do them for you. Though if I ever find a snake in the house, I’m moving that day.


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