Another crappy first

I had a first the other day.  And not a happy first like baby’s first tooth or the first time you saw a really great movie or a first kiss.  No, an unhappy one.  Like the first time you got a zit.  Or the first time you were pulled over.  Or the first time I washed my hands with bleach.  Like I did the other day.  Why?  A funny story, that.

In the midst of making dinner, in the midst of Aidan’s witching hour when he NEEDS to be held NOW, in the midst of sending Evan to time out for wailing on Sean (though surprisingly Sean was fine), Evan went to the bathroom.  As he pulled off the toilet paper, the roll fell of the spindle and into the toilet.  The toilet with crap in it. 

So I heard this:

MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Crap.

I came running to find Evan standing there with his pants and underwear around his ankles.

Crap.

And then I looked in the toilet.

Crap.

For a moment, I reflected on the fact that I had lost my keys down a toilet a year and half ago, and if those keys could be flushed down a toilet, then surely this plastic tube could be too.  But the toilet that swallowed my tasty keys was a public restroom with a powerful, face-sucking flush.  This was a rental.

Crap.

I grabbed the ever so small sliver sticking out of the water.  I let it drip.  I wrapped it in a tissue and ran for my bathroom, where I dropped in the sink.  I proceeded to scrub my hands.  Once.  Twice.  Thrice.  Four time.  Five.  Six.  Seven.  And where’s the bleach?

And then I washed my hands with bleach.  And then two more times with soap and water.  I let the spindle soak in bleach and water.  Ewwww.

And dinner – Crap.

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4 Responses to “Another crappy first”

  1. mrs.undomestic Says:

    Aww.. the things mothers do! lol totally second your ewww!

  2. kloppenmum Says:

    eeeeewwwwwww! and double eeeeewwwwwww!
    Sometimes, it’s hard to remember, these, are the good old days… (I tell myself that constantly, hopefully it’s true!)

  3. jc Says:

    My hair scrunchy went flying into the toilet last week. I was so pissed. I fished it out with a hanger – the scrunchy and hanger went straight to the trash and out to the dumpster.

    I don’t think I could have done what you did. I probably would have thrown up and made things worse. Feeling ill just thinking about it.

  4. faemom Says:

    mrs.undomestic~ No kidding! On both counts!
    kloppenmum~ “The good old days?” I’m guess we get to have selected memory loss. Awesome.
    jc~ It’s amazing the things you will do because no one else is there to do them for you. Though if I ever find a snake in the house, I’m moving that day.


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