A few degrees to the left

I’m a night owl.  It’s just part of who I am.  As the sun sets, I can feel the excitement build throughout my body, and I get my second wind the moment night descends.  It doesn’t matter how tired I was or how little sleep I got; I’m reborn at night.  Carpe noctem.

Which brings me to the belief that there is a God, and She has a wicked sense of humor.

I spent two years as a cashier at Home Depot.  (It’s amazing what doors open with a liberal arts degree.)  I wasn’t just A cashier; I was an OPENING cashier.  I had to punch in with eyes open, apron on at 6am, which meant I was rolling out of bed at 5am.  Remember, night person?  Not a good mix.  My supervisor and I came to a compromise.  I had to fake friendliness, but I didn’t have to be perky.  Because they did NOT pay me enough to be perky.  I had to adjust my attitude slightly.  I looked for something to smile about in the early mornings, maybe seeing the sunrise, knowing I would be home two hours before everyone else, the smell of mist and flowers first thing in the morning.  Besides I have the uncanny ability to fall asleep and wake up in 14 minutes.

Then motherhood came, and I left the job because I didn’t want to pay for the pleasure of working as a cashier.  (Let me allude to The Office.  If I work any harder, it would be a career, and then I would have to kill myself.)  Then God’s sick sense of humor struck.  I birthed morning people.  And it got worse.  Do you know what’s worse than living off of too little sleep?  Living off broken sleep.  Tornado E was a horrible sleeper from day one, AND he got up at the crack of dawn.  I was ready to shoot myself for the chance to stay in a hospital and sleep.  Oh, and I got bitter because The Husband got to sleep in, even though he did not get up in the middle of the night to soothe a crying baby.  I’m not a fast learner; it took me a while to realize being grumpy and bitter kind of sucks.  Really sucks.  So I decided to fake it.  I looked for reasons to be happy that I was up with the sun, a laugh from Tornado E, a new discovery, a new phrase.  Instead of being all bitter that The Husband slept, I started to feel sorry for him.  Look at what he was missing.

Which brings me to today.  This morning.  Writing while I should be getting ready and getting the boys ready, I had to turn my view a few degrees to the left.  As a night person, I have been finding a reason to stay up late.  Probably much too late, but then I find sleep over-rated.  Then you add the three morning people who rise before the sun and need to be fed, dressed, and commanded to get moving.  I can handle this and fake alert happiness.  I’m an awesome actress.  But today I had two boys in my bed at 5am, discussing how they want to sleep at a friend’s house.  (The house has Tornado E’s girlfriend and Tornado S’s best friend.  You can see the draw.)  After a half hour of trying to sleep because it’s FIVE IN THE MORNING (God, I thought they got rid of that time.)  I sent them back to their own beds.  And then God’s sick sense of humor kicked in because two minutes later, Tornado A was up and crying.  For the love of God!  I popped in a binky, laid him down, and basically hit the snooze button for another half hour.   I was up and grumpy.  I made breakfast, and then I sent a rant to my best friend.  Then as I stood over the breakfast proceedings, I realized I could be in a foul mood or not.

And I choose . . . not.

Now as for those afternoons.  They’re a different story.  I can’t fake those.  I’m all for a siesta culture.


7 Responses to “A few degrees to the left”

  1. kloppenmum Says:

    I hear ya. I’ve had to become a morning person, too. It’s a big ask this mothering thing.

  2. rakster Says:

    🙂 I struggle in the mornings too. I have hashimoto’s disease though, and since I’ve started taking a constant supply of synthetic thyroxin I’ve found they aren’t quite such a ‘fog’ as they used to be….

    can’t beat drugs. I always say.

  3. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    Good for you for choosing “not.” Those 5am wake-ups are brutal.

  4. zeemaid Says:

    It never occurred to me to fake it. I just am, is grumpy. My poor kids. Maybe I’ll try fake it tomorrow. 😉

  5. D Says:

    That’s what terrifies me – that when we finally (if ever) get around to having kids, we will have children who are like their dad – morning people. I’m not fully funtional till about mid-afternoon, after my nap.

  6. Ink Says:

    I don’t know how any parent is supposed to get enough sleep. It just cannot happen. Grrrrrrrr!

  7. faemom Says:

    kloppenmum~ Sometimes I wonder if we knew how much we had to put into this mothering thing, if we really would have signed up.
    rakster~ Good luck with that. I’m glad to hear the drugs are working. Now is it wrong that I’m jealous that you have a medical condition to blame?
    TKW~ Honey, you ain’t kiddin’.
    zeemaid~ Fake it until you make it. That and I’ll send you gummy worms. They are the food of choice of grumpy people.
    D~ You’ll be fine. You get what you need. Which kind of sucks sometimes. I suggest keeping up a blog so you can laugh at the times you want to scream and cry.
    Ink~ I blissfully await the teenage years when they will sleep in.

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