It’s all about the underwear

Yesterday a friend called to catch up.  She proceeded to tell me how her daughter (who is just a few months younger than Tornado E) had an accident in her underwear last weekend.  Since my friend was too busy to clean her daughter up, it fell to her husband.  We laughed as my friend imitated her husband’s grumbling.  (I thought we were done with this.  Why did she do this?  What happened?  Are we suppose to be over this crap?  Isn’t she too old for this?  Being done with this crap is why we didn’t have more children.  I thought we were done with this.)  Then when the husband decided to throw away the underwear instead of clean it (because who enjoys cleaning disgusting soiled underwear), the daughter threw a fit, begging her father not to throw away her precious princess underwear.  (Please, Daddy, not my princess underwear!)  What could a good father do?  So the husband started scrubbing sh*t from the princess underwear, starting his whole grumbling monologue all over again.  And how my friend and I laughed.

And how I laughed.

Then today as I spooned a large helping of pureed squash and corn in the mouth of a demanding Tornado A, Tornado S came up, bringing a package of unopened graham crackers.  I smelled something.

Me: Tornado S, did you poop your pants?

I don’t know why I expected a different answer.  There is only one possible answer to that question.  I knew the answer.  I didn’t want to hear it.  I was praying against it.

Tornado S: Yes!

Goddamnit. F- me.  Aren’t we done with this sh*t?  Isn’t he too old for this sh*t?  He potty trained so goddamn well, and then this.  F.  He was even on the pot earlier, trying to go.  What the hell happened?!  I’m suppose to be done with this crap for another two years.

Me: Tornado S.  Go to the bathroom and take off your pants and underwear and wait until I get there.

Tornado S: I don’t wan-

Me: (The Voice) GO!

He scrambled away, and I finished feeding Tornado A, keeping one eye on Tornado S struggling to take off his pants and underwear.  I’ll spare you the gory details.  But Tornado S did try to wipe himself.  Lord, help me.

After placing Tornado A in the midst of his toys (so that he can crawl right after me when I walk away), I went to the bathroom and cleaned up Tornado S.  With Tornado A hanging onto my leg, I looked down at the clothes.  I made a decision.  That underwear was going in the trash.

The good news is I learned a valuable lesson.  The bad news is I think it has something to do with karma is a bitch.


9 Responses to “It’s all about the underwear”

  1. zeemaid Says:

    *LOL* I’m sorry Fae but I just have to laugh my butt off over this and can do so because I have sooooo been there. I’d have laughed at my friend’s husband too.

    (I’d have tossed the undies too) 😉

  2. Karyn Says:

    Karma sucks! Our older boys both went through a year or so of messing themselves when they were about five. I dunno what it’s about, and it did my head in too – but apparently it’s very common. Sigh. Just when you think you’re over that hurdle!

  3. letmestartbysaying Says:

    I hate this part of parenting. Why aren’t they born potty trained?

  4. jc Says:

    Um, shit happens?

    sorry. Couldn’t help it. I’m loling *with* you. And off to wash my hands.

  5. Gibby Says:

    It never ends. Just when I thought we were done with all of that, we went and got a dog who happens to crap huge mounds all over our yard. Guess who gets to clean it? Other creatures’ poop will be with me forever, I fear.

  6. Fie Upon This Quiet Life Says:

    Eldest always had exploding diapers when he was little. With the resulting messy clothes, I usually soaked them and then washed them. With baby, though, many a onesie has ended up in the trash.

    I’ll agree that karma is a bitch, though. Becoming a parent makes you realize just that!

  7. faemom Says:

    zeemaid~ It’s nice to know that I can make other people laugh.
    Karyn~ Thanks for letting me know it’s not my crazy boys.
    lmsbs~ Seriously!
    jc~ I know you’re “loling” with me.
    Gibby~ Which is why we have the rule of no animals until everyone can pick up after themselves and then help with those other animals.
    Fie~ It’s weird, but Aidan doesn’t explode out of his diapers. I’m out of practice.

  8. rakster Says:

    😉 I’ve thrown a few. I reckon at $3 it is worth it 🙂

  9. faemom Says:

    Yeah, now that it’s an ongoing thing. It’s getting a little expensive to toss out underwear.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: