How many penis rules do we need?

jc: I’m totally surprised they aren’t coloring their penises. I KNOW you have a rule against that somewhere around here, and I’m sure you would have mentioned it.

Have you met jc?  She’s the world’s best commenter.  She’s smart, hilarious, and gives out stickers.  For some reason, I amuse her, which I think is an honor.

Then she wrote that on Friday’s blog.

Apparently jc is clairvoyant as well as smart and hilarious.

First off, I knew there was trouble because Tornado E walked out of the bathroom grinning.  Grinning.  Second, I knew there was trouble because he was holding a marker, coming from the bathroom.   Just reread that last sentence again.  Did you get the chills?  Third, I knew there was trouble because he had already drawn all over himself.

Tornado E: LOOK!  (He pulled down his underwear to expose himself.)  I painted on my penis!

His testes were orange.

So many thoughts entered my head.


Why?  Why, for the love of God, would you color your penis?

You’ll make some frat very proud one day.

I wonder what kind of girl will be amused by this.

Oh, God, he’s going to tattoo his penis.

By the time they learn to  be modest around me, I’ll have written a hundred page manual of The Penis Rules.

11 Responses to “How many penis rules do we need?”

  1. d, the undomestic housewife Says:

    Being a mommy of zero, I did not realize that boys even required penis rules until I started reading your blog… And, now I’m amazed by how many they need. Lol. Coloring testes orange?! I love how funny your boys are! 🙂

  2. lifecoachabby Says:

    Hahhahahahha. I have two boys that are both currently under the age of two. I can only imagine what kind of penis rules will have to be created in our house. So far I have put my husband in charge of all things penis, such as penis maintenance at our house. I wonder how long that will last.

  3. Karyn @ kloppenmum Says:

    If it wasn’t one of yours it would have been one of mine. Then I would have had it waggled in my face…
    Best it was yours, really. 🙂

  4. jc Says:


  5. Elastamom Says:

    Boys…they’re so weird.

  6. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    jc is clairvoyant!!

    Orange, eh? What an interesting color choice. You need to tell him that women don’t like Gingers. 🙂

  7. faemom Says:

    D~ I never knew I needed penis rules before I had boys. I never believed boys were that different than girls. Now I know.
    lifecoachabby~ Putting your husband ahead of penis patrol is a brilliant idea. You just might have to help out when potty training comes along; that’s how this all got started.
    Karyn~ Laugh all you like; you’ll get your soon enough. 😉
    jc~ You can laugh because you don’t have boys. Grrrr.
    Elastamom~ You ain’t kiddin’.
    TKW~ Seriously, LOL. Like, ROFLOL

  8. Right Behaviour – Wrong Place | kloppenmum Says:

    […] And if you want to read a classic, especially if you have sons, check out blog buddy faemoms post here. […]

  9. hakea Says:

    Three boys here.

    All I can say is that it appears that “wizzers” are a lifelong obsession.

  10. Karyn @ kloppenmum Says:

    Hey, faemom,
    Do you know anything about this Kids Fun School blog? They’ve nabbed my article without any mention of me and there is no link to my blog. I also can’t get in to comment. I was going to say something nice, like thanks for the ping. Now not so sure.

  11. faemom Says:

    hakea~ I’m beginning to suspect that.
    Karyn~ Let me do a little research and get back to you.

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