Lately I feel like my time is stretched thin. There is always something to do. Some chore needed to be done. Some child needs something. Something needs to be cooked or baked. Some errand needs to be done. And if I have a free moment, I should be studying. Guess how many days has it been since I studied?
In answer to freeing up my time, I’ve been writing short post, playing with dialogue. But now I sit to write something with some meat, some piece that needs a little thought and effort, and the damn thing comes out a mess. Worse than free association. It’s not organized. It hardly makes sense. It doesn’t read well at all. (And right now, Tornado S is begging me to play video games with him, and now after a firm no, he has gone to sob in the hallway next to the closed-door of the nursery, where Tornado A should be sleeping, but Tornado S has woken Tornado A up already once with a temper tantrum.)
Um, I think I figured out where the problem is.
I miss nap time. God, I miss nap time.
I keep thinking I need to track how I spend my time. Like I used to track my diet or the boys’ TV watching. Maybe I can figure out where I’m loosing time. But that sounds a bit anal to me. Granted, a day or two usually was enough to figure out the problems in my diet or how many hours the boys’ watched TV. (It was always too little vegetables and fruit and too much TV.)
I keep thinking I’ll have to juggle faster now. And it will only get worse as I finally start taking classes and Tornado E gets more involved in extracurriculars and the parenting classes start up next month. And I wonder what ball will slip first. And I wonder how I can get help and where I need help. And then I get overwhelmed, nearly crushed by the responsibility of it all. Then I have to stop.
And take a breath.
And remember, first thing first. Just do the first thing. And then the next. And then the next.
And as I write this, I remembered a saying from a cartoon I used to watch as a kid, “Work smarter, not harder.”
So maybe I should write at night, when I’m less likely to be interrupted and do my math studying during rest time and homework time. And breathe. I have to remember to breathe.