Favorites

When asked who are mother’s favorite is, my brothers and I respond different.  They say me.  I maintain its Face.  When she is in the room, we all say a different sibling.  Because it’s fun to irritate my mother.  But truly it’s Face.  “But he was in trouble the most!  I punished him the most!” my mother says.  True, but if I had done any of the things he had done, I would have been locked up in a convent until I was 18.

When we are asked about our dad’s favorite, we all look at each other and shrug.  I don’t know.

***

When talking to other moms, the discussion of favorites comes about.  Usually to deny favorites or secretly admit them.  I always boasted, “Tornado A’s my favorite!  He can’t run away or back talk!”

Guess what.  He can.  Which means I need a new catch phrase.

“It changes from minute to minute.”

***

Tornado E: You look like a zombie.

He was immediately demoted to below his brothers.  Since it was the *Very First* thing he said today, he was demoted beneath my books, chocolate, and hot showers.

Tornado S: Wow!  Mommy, you cleaned the whole house!

He was immediately my favorite because it was said without sarcasm and with enthusiasm.

Tornado A ran and hugged me.

He was immediately my favorite.

Tornado E: Mommy, you make the best breakfasts!

Tornado E was immediately my favorite.

Tornado E: Mommy, your tummy is bigger than daddy’s!  You have a fat tummy!  (Tornado E  was immediately demoted under his brothers.  Again.)

Tornado S: Mommy, you’re fat!  (Tornado S was immediately demoted with Tornado E.  If we had a pet, they would be beneath the pet.)

Tornado E: And you have a fat butt!  (Laughter from both boys)

Tornado S was demoted beneath books, chocolate, and hot showers.  Tornado E was demoted beneath books, movies, all desserts, hot showers, and Disneyland.

And in *my* defense, I am NOT bigger than the ex.  I do NOT have a bigger gut than the ex.  And my pajama pants make my butt look big.  AND all of this happened in the first hour of the day!

My Mom: Well, in their defense, Fae, you could stand to lose five to ten pounds.

My mom was now demoted beneath the boys, my father, my brothers, my sister-in-law, my friends, and my favorite grandma.

Tornado S: HUG!  (He wrapped me into a bear hug.)

He was now my favorite.

Tornado A hugged me.

He was now my favorite.

Tornado E waited until the boys are doing something else and hugged me.

Tornado E: I love you, Mommy.

Tornado E was my favorite.

Look at that.  Three favorites.

And my mom is still demoted.

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One Response to “Favorites”

  1. hangryhippo Says:

    My brother and I switch off being “the favorite” all the time…currently, he is. But I’ll survive!


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