1. I’m going to stop being so shocked it’s Friday because at this point I only have myself to blame on the lack of getting stuff done that want to.
2. Thank you whoever taught Tornado E Slug Bug. I’ve been waiting for years for this moment.
3. I took the Tornadoes to a cheaper version of Chuck E. Cheese last night, and we did fine. I didn’t lose a kid, and all edible substances stayed firmly on trays, in hands, and on the table.
4. Tornado S is teaching me chess. I’m starting to think he’s making up the rules as we go. Um, a pawn can’t jump over a whole bunch of other pieces, can it? What are the rules on adding Sith Lords and giant robots to the game?
5. Tornado A is in repeat mode. “Yeah ducks!” “Thank you.” “What the?”
6. I used to complain about the bedtime rebellion. They no longer attack at night. They rebel in the morning. War is hell.
7. It’s probably a good idea not to post on Facebook parental problems with a divorce pending.
8. You know what would be awesome? The county calling me back, so I can reserve a ramada for Tornado S’s birthday. That would be awesome.
9. Ah! I haven’t done my nails all week. Huh. So that’s what they look like under bright, loud nail polish. I do have my eyes on this. That’s cool.
10. Some notes to some brilliant parents.
Dear Dad on the dirt bike, Congratulations on your protest against government intrusion. It’s your brain, and if you want it splattered all over the pavement in a car accident, that’s your right here in the great state of Arizona. But it’s against the law for you to make that decision for your 10-year-old kid. And stupid. Really, really stupid.
Dear Dad in the convertible, I get it. Car seats are a pain in the ass, and studies may prove they might not be as effective as we think. But that kid that I can’t see because he’s so little I can only see the very top of his head over the door, that kid, he needs a booster seat. At least. And probably goes for his brother next to him. And your other son. I hope you turned off the air bag. And failing to properly restrain your kids, maybe you should leave the top up. Just in case.