Tornado S: Mommy! How many penises does a snowman have?
Me: Um, what? What?!
Tornado S: TWO! One to keep! And one to throw at people!
Tornado S: Mommy! How many penises does a monster have?!
Me: Tornado S, I don’t know if-
Tornado S: TWO! One to pee with! And one to throw at good guys!
Me: Tornado S, we need to talk. About these jokes. We don’t make jokes about penises. And-
Tornado S: Mommy! How many penises do I have?!
Me: Oh, dear God, no.
Tornado S: ONE!!! I fooled you, Mommy! You were going to say two!
Me: No. I happen to know you only have one.
Tornado S: Mommy!
Me: Tornado S! No more jokes about penises.
Tornado S: But they’re funny.
Me: No. No, they’re not. I’m sorry, but you have to know, as part of the clan, you have to work on your material. It’s just the way it is in the family. And no more penis jokes.
Tornado S: But-
Christ, I thought I had until Tornado E went to camp. Does any one know how many penis rules I’m up to now? Because I forgot.