Baby Demon

There Was a Little Girl

By  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.
Tornado A is often a very happy toddler.  Until he turns.  And then it gets ugly.
When we went for his two-year check up, he became possessed.  He screamed even when the nurse took his weight and when the doctor tried to listen to his heart.  He screamed and flailed.  It was horrible.  The doctor looked at him and mentioned perhaps lead poisoning since Tornado A didn’t eat meat and he threw tempers like that.
Honest, Doc, he’s hardly ever like this.
Unless he’s getting a hair cut.
Did I mention the haircut incident three months ago?  Tornado A screamed and flailed and cried and jerked for 45 minutes to receive the worse haircut EVER.  I started muttering, “The power of Christ compels you,” as I waited for projectile vomit.  I held Tornado A tight, expecting him to lunge out of my arms and spider crawl up the wall.  The poor hairdresser did everything she could from giving him a sucker early to playing cartoons on her phone for him.  I tipped her well, and she told me to bring him in more often.
No thank you.
But hair grows.  I finally had to admit he needed, really needed, a haircut.  So I came prepared with treats and toys and brothers and a grandma.  I went first thing in the morning, praying the rosary.
As soon as he heard the word “haircut,” Tornado A started screaming.  I had forgotten the holy water.  The hairdresser just waited Tornado A out and snipped.  He waited and snipped, assuring me that some kids are like this and Tornado A will grow out of it.  The hairdresser explained to Tornado A that he had all day.  So he waited and snipped.  And I played “Fruit Ninja” with Tornado A, hoping to take his mind off of the whole thing as he screamed and jerked his head and the hairdresser waited and snipped.
After 45 minutes later, we compromised.  The hairdresser did a trim.  As Tornado E says, “Tornado A looks like a blond Beatle.”  The hairdresser told me to bring Tornado A back in six weeks and only charged me for a guy trim.  Tornado A got his sucker, and my mom bought me a large soda because it was only 10am.
I’m not looking forward to going back.

One Response to “Baby Demon”

  1. Multifarious meanderings Says:

    I went through the same torture with my son, sending you lots of compassion through cyberspace.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: