1. I had food poisoning. For a day. But the recovery was just as bad. Every day I was exhausted and needed to nap for like over two hours. I think the lack of caffeine did me in.
2. Today I sewed recieving blankets for Softball Player. I thought it would take an hour, and then I could write and maybe nap. I apparently forgot how much prep is involved in sewing and how I nearly get hives in worry that I’ll ruin the whole damn thing.
3. This summer I will attempt to sew more dresses. I may still be delusional from the food poisoning.
4. Tornado S was sick Saturday. That is a great story. Tornado E had vomiting issues on Wednesday. That is the story how he threw up on my newly cleaned California King comforter. To the laundry mat. Again.
5. Tornado A has been an angel. Though that kid is too f-ing smart for his own good.
6. I should be working on homework right now, but I need to write. I’m getting to comfortable. I’m adding snark in my discussions and writing assignments. And I quoted Harry Potter.
7. Hey, did you know I have internet on my phone and therefore I can read blogs while I battle Tornado A in the sleep-battles? Yeah, I’m an idiot for not realizing it sooner.
8. And then my phone won’t let me open any pages on one of my favorite sites. It’s just sends me back to my phone’s home screen. I don’t even know what to call it other than gnomes-hate-this-one-site.
9. My boys love Shink-a-Dinks. It’s so weird. And so cool.
10. We have left the raptor phase behind. We are now in the I’m-going-to-pitch-a-f*ing-fit-or-whine-like-a-b*ch-or-act-like-a- d*k-when-I-don’t-get-my-way phase. Seriously, WTF.
11. Apparently my whole family thinks I have horrible housekeeping skills. Oh yeah, come visit between 12am and 6am. My house is spotless.
12. Also my mom thinks I’m fat. I think she’s projecting. We’re entering dangerous territory where I stop playing the sweet daughter who ignores the comments. We’ll call it puberty part 2.
13. Wait, isn’t that what I called being pregnant? We’ll call it there’s-a-good-reason-people-have-called-me-a-b*ch. (And which I reply with a sweet smile, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”)
14. There’s a mom from Tornado S’s class that I can’t talk to because she believes all kinds of pseudoscience bs. And no kid is a germaphobe without a mom germaphobe to teach him.
15. Tornado E lost it. Completely. Over the thought of sleeping alone in his own bed, even though Tornado S sleeps in the same room. I will be asking for advice.
16. I totally have to potty train Tornado A.
17. Muffins for Mom at Tornado S’s school. Tornado S’s favorite things about me are I make him lettuce wraps and play Lego Star Wars with him.
18. Since the food poisoning, I’ve been a little manic over bleaching the kitchen. Tonight: the oven.
19. I found an unused condom in my front yard. Of course I had to take a picture and post it on Facebook. Which has led to some interesting comments.
20. I thought I was allowed to have more than 10 because I didn’t write. And I was going to stop at 18, but I figured I made it this far that I should go all the way to 20.